wanted, and you said nothing you could have... what did you mean?"
Blaise tilted her head back and examined the ceiling. Then she looked down. "Does anybody ever want anything they can have? Really?"
"I... don't know."
Blaise clasped her knees and rested her chin on them. "If we can have things, we don't really want them anymore. So there's always something out there that we're wanting and not able to get... and maybe that's good."
It didn't sound good to Thea. It sounded like one of those terrible lessons in Life 101 that were supposed to make you more mature.
"Let's do the spell," she said.
Chapter 13
You know, he probably only loved you because of the yemonja," Blaise said.
Thea looked up from her seat in the empty chemistry lab. It was morning break, and this was the most private place they could find at school. "Thanks, Blaise. I needed that."
But maybe it was true. She'd almost forgotten that she'd used a spell to get him in the first place.
That should make a difference, she told herself. If it was all artificial, I shouldn't even miss it.
She still felt as if she were encased in ice.
"Did you get it?"
"Sure." Blaise tossed a ring on the high table. "I asked her if I could look at it, then pretended I dropped it in the bushes. She's still out there searching."
Thea pulled the binding spell out of her backpack.
Two anatomically correct dolls, both made with the blue wax Blaise used for her jewelry. Beautiful little creatures-Blaise was an artist. The male one contained the Kleenex with Eric's blood and a single sandy hair Thea had found clinging to her shoulder.
Thea put Pilar's turquoise ring around the feet of the female doll and tied it with a red thread to keep it on. She held out a hand.
From her backpack, Blaise produced a corked hexagonal bottle. The liquid inside was made up of all sorts of disgusting things, including ground bezoar stone. Thea held her breath as she poured it over the two figures, which immediately began to smoke.
"Now bind them together," Blaise said, coughing and waving a hand to clear a space to breathe.
"I know." Thea took a thin scarlet ribbon seven feet long and patiently began winding it around the two figures. It wrapped them like mummies. She tucked the loose end into a loop.
"And there they are," Blaise said. "Bound till death. Congratulations. Let's see, it's ten fifteen now, so he should have forgotten your existence by about... say, ten sixteen." She reached up and her hair ran like black water through her hands as she stretched.
Thea tried to smile.
The pain was bad. It was as if some part of Thea's physical body had been cut off. She felt raw and bleeding and not at all able to deal with things like French or trigonometry.
There must be more to life. I'll go somewhere and do something for other people; I'll work in third world countries or try to save an endangered species.
But thinking about future good works didn't help the raw ache. Or the feeling that if the ache stopped she would just be numb and never be happy again.
And all this for a human...
It didn't work anymore. She couldn't go back to her old way of thinking. Humans might be alien, but they were still people. They were as good as witches. Just different.
She managed to get through the schoolday without running into Eric-which mainly meant scuttling around corridors after bells rang and being tardy for classes. She was scuttling after the last bell toward Dani's U.S. government class when she almost collided with Pilar.
"Thea!"
The voice was surprised. Thea looked up.
Deep amber-brown eyes, framed by spiky black lashes. Pilar was looking at her very strangely.
Wondering at your good luck? Thea thought. Has Eric proposed to you yet? "What?" she said.
Pilar hesitated, then just shook her head and walked off.
Thea ducked into the history classroom.
Dani said, "Thea!"
Everybody sounds the same.
"Where've you been? Eric's looking all over for you."
Of course, I should have realized. Blaise was wrong-he's not just going to forget about me and
walk away. He's a gentleman; he's going to tell me he's walking away.
"Can I go home with you?" she asked Dani wretchedly. "I need some space."
"Thea..." Dani dragged her to a corner and looked her over with anxious eyes. "Eric really wants to find you... but what's wrong?" she whispered. "Is it something about Suzanne? The old gym's still closed, isn't it?"
"It's nothing to do with that." She was about to suggest they get moving when a tall figure walked in the door. Eric.
He walked straight to Thea. The kids hanging around the teacher's desk were looking. The teacher was looking. Thea felt like a freak show.
"We have to talk," Eric said flatly. She'd never seen him look quite like this before. He was pale, glassy-eyed, hollow-cheeked. He somehow managed to look as if he'd missed a week's worth of sleep since that morning.
And he was right. They had to talk to end it. She had to explain that it was okay, or he'd never be able to go. I can do that.
"Somewhere private," Thea said.
They left Dani and walked through the campus, past the old gym with its yellow ribbon of police tape hanging limp and still. Through the football field.
Thea didn't know where they were going, and suspected Eric didn't either-they just kept moving until they were out of sight of people.
The green of the tended grass gave way to yellow-green, and then brown, and then desert. Thea wrapped her arms around herself, thinking about how cold it had gotten in just a week and a half. The last trace of summer was gone.