I make a decision in this moment, though I think it’s one that I made after I returned from Athens Regional not long ago and I step right up to Aunt Bev, cupping her elbows in my hands.
“You’re not like a mother to me,” I say and her face becomes faintly confused. “You are my mother.”
It felt so right to say it.
Beverlee’s eyes coat with moisture and in seconds tears stream down her cheeks. She grabs me and pulls me toward her, wrapping her arms tightly around me. Her chest rattles with happy sobs.
“That means a lot to me,” she says, pulling away.
“Well, I’m serious and I want you to know that when I decide I need to move away from here, that it’s just your very grateful not-so-teenage daughter moving on with her life.”
“Yeah,” Alex says from the bed, “all mom’s go through it and you won’t be an exception—so just suck it up and be happy that your daughters are grown up and making you miserable with their absence…Well, that is until you realize you can turn our rooms into some kind of mom-only zone.”
Beverlee laughs through her tears and my smile just gets bigger.
“Thanks,” Beverlee says. She wipes her finger under her eyes.
It almost felt like closure, going to see Aunt Bev and Uncle Carl because I do feel so much better. And I know they feel that way, too, especially seeing Alex again.
Before we left, I assured Beverlee that I would finish school and she and Uncle Carl talked with me for a little while about taking out loans so that I can go to college, but I’m not about to let them go in debt for me and neither is Alex. I ended that conversation with a blatant thank-you-but-no. Alex was bit more open about her intentions and she told them that she might graduate, but that anything beyond that just isn’t for her.
It was a much-needed visit, but aside from how well everything went and how good I left feeling about it, the entire thing also somehow feels like a means to an end, like I had to do it because I might not get another chance.
I don’t know why it feels that way, but deep down it worries me. It’s like I know that fate has something much bigger in store for my life, and it has little to do with my so-called fate that Harry said I’m supposed to fulfill. I don’t know how in the world he could ever believe that I could be the cause of a war. A war! It even sounds ridiculous rolling off my tongue. It’s not possible. And even if it was and I was perfectly capable of pulling something like that off, why would I do it?
No one in their right mind would ever consider it. And I’m perfectly in my right mind.
Isaac laughs when he finds out that I stole his Jeep.
“Baby, everything I own belongs to you.”
He kisses me hard, lifting me from the floor with his arms tightly around my back.
“And that reminds me,” he says as I slide back down the front of his body and my feet touch the floor again, “you should stop saying ‘Isaac’s bed’ and ‘Isaac’s room’ and ‘Isaac’s house’. It bugs me.”
I blush. I think he’ll make me blush even fifty years from now.
“Okay, so I hate to break the news,” I say, half-smiling because I don’t like what I’m about to tell him, but I also don’t want to ruin the moment, “but looks like I’m not going to be sleeping in our bed for a while.”
His playful smile evaporates in two seconds.
“Your father wants me to stay everyday with Aramei until he gets back from Serbia.”
His right hand lifts level with his chest and his knuckles jut out as he balls it into a half-fist; his lips press together in a hard, angry line and his breath explodes from his nostrils.
He starts to hit the wall, but retracts his hand and calms himself.
“It’s almost over,” I say, cupping his face in my hands. “I’m so close to finding out what Aramei is trying to tell me. I can feel it, Isaac.”
His jaw works abrasively beneath my hands. I hold my gaze on him, taking in all of his anger and impatience and worry and finally his surrender.
“Did he say for how long?”
I shake my head. “But how long is he usually away? You know he won’t leave her alone for too long.”
Isaac’s eyes drift from mine as if he’s thinking really hard about it. And then he nods slowly. “You’re right,” he says, finally looking at me again; my fingertips still touching his face. “But after this, I’m putting a stop to it. You can’t keep doing this….”
I soften my eyes and smile faintly up at him. “I know,” I say and peck him on the lips once. “I admit that a part of me loves Aramei and that I feel this burning need to help her in whatever way I can, but I love you more and I don’t want my obsession with her to overshadow my obsession with you.”
That lightened the mood; Isaac’s mouth lifts into a grin. “You’re obsessed with me?”
I smile and draw back my chin, wrinkling my eyebrows. “Baby, if I wasn’t so rational, I’d totally stalk you.”
He growls under his breath and pulls me to his chest again.
Chapter 26
ON THE DRIVE TO the cabin, I fill Isaac in on mine and Alex’s time with Aunt Bev and Uncle Carl.
“You can still go to college, you know?”
I look at him in the driver’s seat and kind of laugh. “Isaac, I’m a werewolf. It’s just…I don’t know, I…,” I’m getting frustrated because I’m still having a hard time pinpointing this issue, why everything humans do just feels unnecessary anymore.
“Your life doesn’t have to be so different than you always imagined it,” he says.
I just listen because I feel like maybe he’s about to solve this issue for me.
“It’s like…I don’t know—take your uncle for example. He can’t walk anymore. He knows his life has changed dramatically and for a long time it might feel like nothing will ever be the same. But nothing around him has changed. The only thing that’s changed is him and how he can interact with it all.” He pats my thigh. “Babe, before you can get past this you have to accept that you’re different and stop trying to understand why.”
Maybe that’s it. It kind of feels like it might be, but I’ll have to think about this more later.
“But still, college is just not feasible.”
“Why?” he says looking back out at the road.
“Because it costs like a trillion dollars—besides, what would I go for? Zoology?”
He breathes out a laugh through his nose.
“You can go for whatever you want,” he says, “and it doesn’t have to be for something animal-related.” I catch him rolling his eyes and I can’t help but smile to myself.
“Well, it still costs too much and I’m not about to let my aunt and uncle refinance their house or start donating plasma just so I can go to school.”
“You can go to New York,” he says, glancing over.
He seems serious, but I just roll my eyes and stare out ahead at the road.
We pull up to the front of the cabin.
“Nate’s not doing so well.” We sit in the Jeep with the engine running. “This whole Blood Bond thing with Minna is really starting to mess with his head.”
My face falls.
“I’m going to the racetrack with him tonight. Hopefully it’ll help take his mind off things.”
He leans across the seat and kisses me. “I love you.”
I whisper it back onto his lips and kiss him, too, before stepping out and waving him goodbye.
As he drives away, I watch him go until I can’t see the Jeep anymore and I feel this strange flutter of emotion in the pit of my stomach.
Aramei is sitting upright on the end of the bed when I make it upstairs.
“She’s only been awake for a few minutes,” Eva says, greeting me. She walks over to meet me halfway and stops directly in front of me, interlacing her fingers down below her belly and lowering her head into a small bow.
I just walk past her. I don’t want to risk her trying to apologize for yesterday because then it’s just like going right back into the subject all over again and I want to avoid that at all costs.
I walk over and sit next to Aramei. Her eyes are peering toward the candle burning on the bedside. The whole space is becoming darker as the night falls, leaving a dancing shadow on the wall from the tiny candle flame. The walls are bathed in a dark orange glow and everything feels eerie, maybe because it’s always early in the morning when I’m here and venturing into Aramei’s mind.
“I think she knew you were coming.”
I nod, agreeing with her.
“Would you like for me to bring you anything?”
“No,” I say, putting up my hand, “but thank you.”
“Then I will leave you to her.”
I can sense that Eva bows before she leaves.
I stand up again once Eva is gone and I lean over into Aramei’s view as her gaze lies softly out ahead. I take her hands into mine and gently coax her body up and to my surprise, she stands.
We are the same height. I look into her seemingly desolate green eyes and a flicker of acknowledgment moves through her irises. I cradle her hands more firmly and kiss her softly on the forehead.
“Aramei…I’m here.”
The room begins to shrink into a vortex as though something is sucking it all into one tiny point. But we don’t move; not even my hair blows though it feels like it should be whipping about my face and wrapping around the back of my head threatening to take me into the point as well. My breath catches sharply and I shut my eyes before the motion of the room being stretched into oblivion makes me sick to my stomach. I feel Aramei’s hands tighten around my own and this small gesture of understanding motivates me.
And before I have a chance to catch my breath again, my eyes are forced open and my body is thrust into a strange series of events unlike any of my past visits into Aramei’s mind. It takes me a moment to wrap my head around what is happening and why it’s happening so fast; why I’m not standing immobile in a room somewhere in 1762, picking up where we left off last.
Time is skipping. I see that now. Aramei’s life is moving through the ages in gaps rather than a seamless, perfect sequence.
And it takes my breath away.
Golubac Fortress – Serbia – Summer 1777
Lord General Vukašin Prvovencani takes Aramei as his wife in a traditional Black Beast ceremony. The two of them, werewolf and human, know love like no other. Aramei, despite being surrounded by death and danger and darkness, can never imagine herself anywhere else. She is Trajan’s life and he is hers.
But others find their union blasphemous and have been plotting against the Sovereign since the day it was made public that he had taken a human girl as is mate. Vengeful eyes watch Aramei from everywhere.
She will never be safe.
Golubac Fortress – Serbia – Spring 1780
Viktor’s rogue army has grown to immeasurable proportions. Every town along the Danube has been inundated by the infection. And the danger is soon to infiltrate the fortress where Aramei is kept safe.