“So what do they plan on doing to me now that it didn’t work?” I snapped. “Lock me away somewhere and throw away the key?”
“No,” he said, avoiding eye contact with me.
“Then what? Tell me. What are they going to do?”
There was a hint of pity in his bright green eyes. “There’s someone else with the same gift as Sophia that’s headed here right now. He’s supposed to be more powerful than Sophia, and Stephan seems convinced it’ll work.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Well, I actually could, considering all the other crap I’d been told over the last few days, but…“Why?”
His eyebrows dipped down. “Why what?”
“Why didn’t you guys have this detaching soul person detach my soul sooner? I’ve been feeling for a few months now? Why wait and let it get worse.”
“Because,” he faltered, “they couldn’t find the guy. I guess on the night of the fieldtrip, Stephan finally found him. That’s why we couldn’t get a hold of them. They’d gone to pick up this man.”
No wonder Alex had gotten out of the Jeep to talk to Stephan. He didn’t want me to hear any of this. “I-I can’t believe this. You guys are so—so—”
“Gemma, you need to calm down,” he said. “You’re freaking out, and I can’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Of course I’m freaking out.” I yelled, clenching my hands into fists as I jumped to my feet. “You just told me that I have to go back to being Hollow Zombie Girl.”
I’m not sure how he’d expected me to react, but by the look of shock on his face, I was guessing he’d probably anticipated a more mellow reaction.
But I don’t know why.
I started to back away from the couch. “I won’t do it. There’s no way. I can’t go back to being like that. Ever.”
“You don’t have a choice,” he said, getting to his feet. “This isn’t just about you. It’s about the safety of the world and everyone in it. Do you want to be responsible for people dying?”
“No,” I said, sidestepping around the coffee table. “But how do you expect me to just let them detach my soul and take away everything. Do you know what it was like living that way for—for—I don’t even know how long it was because time felt nonexistent. Every single day was nothing. There was no point in even waking up. Yet I did, every single day. And even though my emotions were gone, it was still torture. And it’s going to be worse now because I've experienced what it’s like to feel things and be human. You guys may think it’s okay to do it, but it’s not. Yes, it may have to be done to save the world, but it’s still horrible because, aside from what you guys may think, I’m not just something carry around a star inside me. I’m human too. Or at least part human.”
Okay, that was by far the biggest speech I’ve ever made. It ran me out of breath, it took so long.
“I know your human,” he snapped. “You don’t think I understand how wrong it is. Do you know how much I wished there was another way to fix it?”
“That’s such a load of crap,” I said, my voice hot with anger. “You’ve hated me since the first day we’ve met.”
“I’ve never hated you.” His voice had softened. “Not once.”
I glared at him. “You are such a liar.”
He grabbed me by the arm and reeled me to him, crashing me into his chest. “I’ve never hated you.”
I had to remind myself to breath. Every part of my body felt hot and electric, and my head was spinning.
“Well, it’s good to see that you’re wrist is feeling better,” he said.
“Yeah…” It felt so nice when he touched me.
“Just forget about everything for a minute,” he whispered.
Maybe I could…forget about…everything.
His eyelids drifted shut as he leaned in to kiss me.
That slapped me back to reality. “Forget about everything.” I yanked my arm away from him and shoved him back. “What is this? Are you trying to distract me or something?”
“No.” He looked stunned, but like I’ve said before, he is an expert liar. He stepped toward me. “Gemma, that’s not what I—”
I backed away from him. “Stay away from me.”
He kept coming at me. “I’m not—”
“Stay away from me!” I cried and took off in a mad sprint down the hall.
I wasn’t sure if he followed me or not. I never checked. I stormed into the room that held my bag and locked the door. Then I threw myself on the bed and cried and cried and cried until I ran out of tears.
Chapter 31
“Gemma, wake up,” a voice whispered.
I groaned, my eyelids to heavy to open.
“Gemma.” The voice rose louder
I let out a grunt and opened my eyes, only to realize that not only was I lying on the floor, but I was lying on the floor in an entirely different room. I sat up, rubbed my eyes, and peered around at the purple walls pinned with drawings, photos, and a…galaxy map?
“Okay,” I whispered. “Where am I?”
“I want to tell you something.”
I recognized the voice instantly and jumped to my feet. Sitting in a bay window, gazing up at the night sky, was a woman with long brown hair and blue iris—my mother. Sitting next to her was a little girl with violet eyes—me.
And yep, I could see their faces. Apparently, memories or not, getting rid of the haze in one of them had cleared them all up.
“Look at the stars mama.” The younger me pointed at the sky. “They’re so pretty.”
“Yes, they are,” my mother agreed. “And it’s very important that you remember that. No matter what happens.”
The younger me looked up at her. “Why? What’s going to happen?”
“That’s for me to worry about.” My mother smoothed the younger me’s hair back.
“I’m scared,” the younger me whispered, getting teary eyed. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
“I know. And I don’t want to leave you. But in case something does happen, I need you to know that I love you more than anything.” My mother wiped a tear away from the younger me’s eye. “And I always will. Never forget that.”
The younger me nodded and hugged my mother tightly. “I promise I’ll never forget.”
“Yes, you will,” I whispered, tears trickling down my cheeks. “You’ll forget everything.”
My eyes shot open. I was back at the cabin, lying on the bed. My eyes and cheeks were damp with tears. My neck was sore and hot—I must have been sleeping in a weird position or something. Whatever these things—visions, resurfacing memories, or maybe just dreams—were, I still had managed to cry in real-life. My guess, though, was that they were memories.
I tried not to think about how heartbreaking the scene between me and my mother was as I wiped my tears away with the sleeve of my jacket. It was just too painful to think about.
Unsure of how late it was, or how much time had gone by since I’d locked myself in the room, I scooted off the bed and treaded over to the window. Pulling back the curtain, I saw that it was nearing dark. The hills were shadows, the sky grey. But it was still early enough that the stars had not yet awakened.
So what was I supposed to do now? The last thing I wanted to do was to walk out and find Marco, Sophia, Stephan, and Detaching Soul Guy waiting for me. I needed to find out if they’d arrived yet.
I tiptoed over to the door, cracked it open, and listened. The only noise I could hear came from my own breathing. Crossing my fingers that no one was here yet, I opened the door the rest of the way, went out into the living room, and almost jumped with joy when I found it completely people free.
But where was Alex?
Good question.
I searched the house, checking the kitchen, the dining room, even going out into the garage. But nothing. There was no sign of Alex anywhere. Is that necessarily a bad thing? I asked myself, and sighed because the answer was yes.
I was just about to sit down on the couch and wait it out when I spotted Alex through the sliding glass door. He was sitting in a porch swing on the back porch. Beneath the dim porch light, I could see that he’d ditched the black baseball hat, his dark brown hair sticking up in its messily, yet perfectly done, way. He was staring down at his hand, and I couldn’t help but feel nervous about what he might be holding in it.
I made my way over to the sliding door, and paused before gliding it open. I stepped out into the cold night air, my breath puffing out in a cloud.
He glanced up at me, and then returned his gaze back to whatever was in his hand.
“It’s freezing out here.” I tugged the hood of my jacket over my head, tucked my hands up into the sleeves, and tromped through the snow over to the swing. “What are you doing out here?”
“Just thinking about stuff…” He clasped his hand around something shiny and sliver and looked up at me. “I’m surprised you came out of the room. I was pretty sure that you were going to lock yourself in there and refuse to come out.”
“It wouldn’t have done me any good.” I sat down on the swing, and it rocked beneath my weight. “You guys probably would have just broken down the door and dragged me out.”
He didn’t say anything, but it didn’t matter. I already knew the extent of what the Keepers would do to keep the stars power thriving.
I let the tips of my shoes trace across the snow as the swing swayed back and forth. “So…what do you have in your hand?”
He hesitatingly opened his hand, and a necklace rested in his palm. A violet stone carved the center of a silver, heart-shaped pendant. The color of the stone reminded me of the color of my eyes.
I stared at the necklace, mesmerized by its beauty. “What is it?”
A smile teased at his lips. “A necklace.”
I rolled my eyes. “Obviously. But why are you showing it to me?”
“Because it was yours.” He slipped the chain of the necklace through his fingers and dangled it in front of me. “Your mother gave it to you when you were little…before everything happened.”
“It was mine? Really?” I asked excitedly.
He nodded. “It really was.”
I pressed my lips together, my eyes starting to burn from the tears that were threatening to break through.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
I nodded because I couldn’t speak. I don’t know how to even begin to explain to you just how much this meant to me. I’m not even sure there are any words that would fit what I was feeling. Okay, imagine if every ounce of who you are was ripped away and there was nothing left but a lost version of yourself struggling to find a way back to a life you’d never known—a life you knew had to be better than the empty one you were living. That’s what this necklace was. A piece of my past that reminded me that I’d once had a good life, with a loving mother, free to do and feel as I pleased.