He went quiet, but he didn't even attempt to deny what she was saying. He looked at the phone in his hand as if he just now realized how it was that she had discovered his deception.
"I could have been here, Nikolai. Hours ago, I could have been here, doing something to get Mira out of that monster's hands!"
"Which is exactly why I didn't tell you," he said gently.
She scoffed, heartbroken. "You betrayed me."
"I did it to protect you. Because I love - "
"No," she said, shaking her head to keep from being played for a fool again. "No. Don't say that to me. How can you say that when you used those very words to keep me distracted - to make me believe that you actually cared about me while you and your buddies in the Order made plans of your own around me?"
"It's not like that at all. Nothing that happened between us today - nothing I said to you - had anything to do with the Order. Today was about you and me...it was about us."
"Bullshit!" He reached for her and she drew back, out of his grasp. She opened the door and got out of the SUV. He was out of the vehicle and around to her side, blocking her with his body, all of it happening so fast she couldn't even begin to track his movements. "Get away from me, Nikolai."
"Where are you going?" he asked gently.
"I can't sit here any longer and do nothing." She took a step around him but he was right there again. The gentleness in him was fading fast, replaced by a firmness that said he would keep her there in shackles if he thought he needed to. "I can't let you do this, Renata."
"That's not your choice to make," she fired back, trembling with fear and outrage. "Damn it, that was never your choice to make for me!"
He growled a curse and lunged for her.
Renata hardly knew what she had done until he froze in midstep, clutching the sides of his head in his hands. He hissed, his eyes throwing off amber sparks as he pinned her in a shocked, furious gaze. "Renata. Do not - "
She blasted him again, all of her fear for Mira and her pain at his betrayal pouring out of her in a punishing stream of mental heat. Nikolai crashed down onto his knees, groaning and writhing from the jolt of pain she'd unleashed on him. Renata bolted away from him, into the forest, before she allowed herself to be deterred by the regret already swelling up in her.
Chapter Thirty
The house was under heavily armed, guarded watch on all sides. Impossible to breach without being noticed by at least one of the Enforcement Agents staked out like the vampire equivalent of an antiterrorist SWAT team. Every one of them carried a shoot-first-ask-questions-later attitude, from their dark-visored black helmets and combat gear, to the bone-shredding automatic rifles they held at the ready.
Thanks to the agents who'd raided Jack's place the other night, Renata and Nikolai had come away with transportation, uniforms, and weapons. She didn't think she would be lucky enough to fake her way into the building, but on first glance, garbed as they were, the agents on watch might think her one of their own.
She put on the helmet she'd taken with her from the SUV and dropped the tinted visor. Adopting as much of a soldier's swagger as she could manage, Renata stepped out of the woods and approached the vampire guarding the west side of the house. The agent spotted her immediately. "Henri? What the f**k are you doing out there?"
Renata shrugged, lifted her good arm in a hell if I know gesture. She couldn't risk speaking to him - no more than she could risk using her gun to mow this obstacle down. If she let off a bunch of rounds, she would have the whole security detail on her ass. No, she had to keep her cool and just continue walking toward him with the hope that he wouldn't open fire out of raised suspicion alone.
"What's the matter with you, idiot?"
Renata shrugged again. Getting closer.
Her fingers itched to let her blades fly - he made an easy target standing as still as a stump - but the slightest whiff of spilled blood would call every vampire in the vicinity to attention. Renata knew she had to get close enough to reach him with her mind. Her only option was to hit him with a swift, solid blast.
"You f**king ingrate, Henri, get back to your post," the agent growled. He reached for a small communication device clipped to his belt. "I'm calling Fabien to report you. If you want to piss him off, go ahead, but I don't want any part of - " Using all the power at her command, Renata unleashed a savage bolt of energy from her mind and sent it crashing into the vampire standing before her. His words choked off with a grunt and he went down like a stone. She kept blasting him until he was silent. When she was certain he was dead, she bent down and liberated him of both his weapon and his comm device.
Renata opened the side entrance door a bare sliver and did a quick glance of the area just inside. It was clear. She slipped inside, heart hammering in her chest, breath steaming against the closed visor of her helmet.
For all her fury at Nikolai for not telling her that Mira was here with Fabien, now she knew only gratitude that the Order had visual proof of the child's location. It was too late to second-guess how she'd left things with Nikolai. Too late to worry that maybe she should have waited for him and his brothers-in-arms to be there to back her up. Part of her knew that she'd been unfair, but she'd gone too far to take it back.
She'd made an impulsive, emotional decision based on wounded feelings. It was a decision that might cost her the friendship she had with Nikolai - maybe even his love - but as much as she regretted that already, she couldn't undo it now. Nikolai might never forgive her for jeopardizing his mission; she would understand if he couldn't.