His hands moved to his shirt, unbuttoning one and then two before I slid my hands from his back to stop him. Let me, I said, moving down to the next one, trying to keep my hands from shaking. It wasnt nerves making them shake, it was the col ision of everything I was feeling, things Id felt before with Wil iam, but had never been able to explore to their pinnacle. Things like desire and longing, want and fire. It was this potion of feelings that had me wanting to rip the shirt from his body, along with whatever else stood between us, but at the same time, I wanted to enjoy the taste of anticipation, the desire gently fanning the flame.
The last button undone, my hands skimmed up the length of his torso, past his chest, to his shoulders, sliding the shirt from his back and down his arms until it fel to the ground.
I knew perfection wasnt a reality of this world, nothing but a trick to make you waste your life seeking it. Regardless, it was the first thing I thought when I took a step back and reviewed my new husband, shirtless, smiling, and sexy as sin.
It could have been enough, staring at him as I was now, but knowing I had the right to more . . . wel , it could have been enough, but it wasnt any longer. I wanted more. I kissed him, like it was our first and last kiss combined. It was dripping in our story, in what had been ours and what would be ours.
Youre so beautiful, I said against his mouth, retracing the trail my hands had just taken, hooking under the waist of his pants, fingering over the button. Something rumbled in his throat as my fingers slipped it free.
I think thats my line, he said, his voice strained as he glanced down at my fingers fumbling at his zipper. Youre going to have me ful y undressed soon and youre stil as ful y clothed as the moment you entered this room. His hands stopped mine where they continued to make a mockery of undressing a man. For mercys sake, why did zippers have to be so difficult to maneuver around when desperation was at its peak? Coming behind me, his lips grazed over the peak of my shoulder, down the curve of my col ar bone, and up the base of my neck. Let me help you catch up. His words vibrated against the sensitive skin of my neck, cascading shivers down my spine.
I dont have multiple layers of garments on, I said as evenly as possibly given the fires igniting across every surface inch of my skin. Once this dress is off, Im next to nak*d.
I felt the smile curve his mouth into place before he answered, Exactly.
My eyes closed. Its a good thing youre here because I couldnt get out of this thing on my own unless I had a pair of scissors, I said, jolting as his hands trailed over the exposed skin of my back.
How, when as innocent”wel , as innocent as what it was prefacing could be”a touch as this could send a bolt of electricity through me, was I going to make it through al that awaited us without bursting into flames? I didnt know, but I wanted to find out.
Good thing, he agreed, his fingers moving over the top button, his lips moving over my neck again.
His usual graceful motion was lost on the tiny buttons running the better length of my upper half. Sorry, this dress is some form of sadistic torture for a couple on their first night together, I said, swal owing. Cora even had a tough time getting it latched into place.
Thats not the problem, he said, final y pul ing the first button free. Im having a tough time not unlatching it from you in one fel swoop, but Im forcing myself to savor every last one of these cursed things, he said, strained, as the second one popped free. Moving the fabric aside, he kissed the area of skin beneath the buttons, undoing the next one at the same time, kissing that spot and continuing on that journey south until the last one was freed.
His mouth lingered longer over the skin behind the last button, right at the very last inch of skin that could be classified as back, but was more back side than I wanted to realize at this time in encroaching nak*dness. Now was no time to let insecurities out of their cage.
For whatever reason, Wil iam loved me like there wasnt a single imperfection clouding his love. I was going to view myself from his eyes from now on when I felt the inner demons awakening.
I thoroughly enjoyed that, he breathed against the curve of my neck. Torture device warning aside.
Yeah? I asked, smiling.
His head nodded against me as his hands shrugged into the delicate cap sleeves of the gown. But Im sure Im going to like this more, he said, freeing the dress of my shoulders, pul ing one of my arms through, then the other, and then there was nothing else holding the dress up save for Wil iams fingers. Opening them, he let the dress parachute to the floor and, save for a couple pieces of silky material that were most definitely not what I normal y wore, I was nak*d.
If I thought Id ever experienced hyperventilation before, Id been kidding myself. The hitching of air in my lungs was keeping pace with the frantic beating of my heart. I felt vulnerable, I was vulnerable, but I reminded myself who was in the room with me, Wil iam.
He deserved vulnerability, I owed him vulnerability. The world had taken the concept and screwed it into something twisted that would elicit a cringe when one gave it thought, but this is what, at the core of it al , we al craved. For someone other than ourselves to know us so intimately they know what wed do before we did, what we look like better than we do.
I sighed when his hands moved down the length of my arms, twining his fingers through mine as he lifted them above and behind me, circling them over his neck.
Vulnerability”the island in the sea I never wanted to be rescued from now that Id found it.
His hands had no problem unhooking the clasps at the center of my back, letting the strapless bra spring to the floor without a reservation. His fingers moved down the length of my bare back, back up again, and repeated the journey.
Wil iam, I said, looking back at him. His eyes were skimming over my body, taking it al in, but they moved up to mine the instant I said his name.
Youre going to have to move me to that bed before I pass out if you keep doing that.
He smiled, but I wasnt joking. Passing out from the pleasure or the passion or whatever it was he was doing to me seemed like a very real possibility and I definitely didnt want to miss a moment of this. Thats the plan, he answered, pressing his body into mine, his mouth moving to mine, kissing me as his hands repeated the caresses over my front theyd just completed over my back. The pleasure was so intense it bordered on painful, but whether pleasure or pain, it hurt so good I didnt care.
One more caress down my sides and his thumbs hooked underneath the final scrap of clothing keeping us apart. Wel , at least keeping us apart on me. His pants were stil securely in place, but they wouldnt be for much longer.
In a motion so seamless, my panties ended up on top of my discarded clothing at my feet and in a motion not nearly so seamless, my hands dropped to his pants, fumbling with his zipper. Id had trouble with the darn thing without trying to perform acrobatics by Bryn definition, but it appeared desperation made my hands more adept. The zipper free”at last”it was as simple as a light tug on his pants and the rest of him was as nak*d as I was.
He turned me to him, cradling my face in his hands as he kissed me first, then took a step back, his eyes wandering over me without apology or speed. Taking in every curve of my body, every line of my skin, each spot no man had ever seen before. You cant be real, he said final y, his eyes sliding back to mine. There was a hunger so deep it made me want to run to him and satiate it. You cant be mine, he said, stil awed as he gave his head a clearing shake.
Real I am and yours I am even more, I replied, letting my eyes wander over him as he had me. I didnt have any doubts that what I hadnt seen of him would be any less jaw-dropping than what I had seen, but that didnt mean it didnt overwhelm me as I took al of him in.
Wil iam was mine now, and I his, I wanted to give him everything hed ever wanted, everything hed ever need, but how could a girl nearly as naïve as a nun give this man being worshipped even by the candlelight he was so exquisite, everything he wanted . . . everything he expected?
My naivety coupled with my clumsiness would make for a rol in the sack Wil iam wouldnt be inspired to recreate anytime soon, I guessed.
Not able to help it, I bit my lip, glancing away from him . . . and this was no easy feat with the nak*d man who had a body that was meant to be seen nak*d two feet in front of me.
You are nervous, he stated, concern ebbing into his voice. He stepped into me, pul ing me tight against him in an embrace that was nothing but comforting, although the col iding of our bodies didnt exactly make me feel comforted. Burning out of control with passion, yeah, longing to have his hands running over the same parts of me they just had, yeah, but comforted . . . not exactly. Whats the matter? he asked, his arms vices around me.
The vulnerability I was immersed in brought the answer out easier than I normal y would have offered up. I dont know what to do, I said. Im afraid Im going to be an utter disappointment in the bedroom department. I dont have the faintest clue how to proceed.
Never did I imagine once Wil iam and I were al owed to be together like this would I be the one putting on the brakes, not in one bil ion years, but you would have thought by now I would have learned I never had things figured out.
I dont have an instruction manual either, he began, his voice patient. But I dont have any doubt we can figure it out. Im that committed to mastering this aspect of our relationship, he said, rubbing my back. And as for being a disappointment . . . he held my face in his hands so he could look me in the eyes. Even if I did nothing but stare at you al night long, I could die a happy right man right here, right now. His face was so serious, not a nuance of exaggeration in it, I smiled.
Right here, right now, I repeated. Before . . . I hinted, my eyes sweeping over the bed.
His eyes fol owed mine and a grimace lined his face. I could, but I dont want to.
Good, I said, doing a mental shove of my last bit of fear. Lets figure this thing out then. I took a step backwards and another, inching towards the bed. He matched my movements, step for step, touch for touch.
Think of it as a dance, he whispered, lowering me to the mattress. A dance without clothes. We already know how to dance standing up, we can figure out how to dance lying down. No matter how long it takes, he said, winking down at me as his body positioned over mine, holding his weight on his forearms. The surface fires suddenly scorched deeper, spreading through every nerve ending, knowing this was the thing forever memories were made of.
Wil iam and I would be walking hand-in-hand down a beach a thousand years from now and this was the kind of moment that would flash to the front of my mind. The kind of moments we live our lives chasing. Id chased this one down long enough, I was done chasing. I was ready to live it.
Dance with me, Bryn, he whispered, his frantic heartbeat only outdone by mine.
Youre going to have to take the lead, I whispered back, rocking my body closer to him, wanting his strained forearms to give out so his weight would crush against me.
He kissed me, probably the sweetest one hed ever given me, before positioning his face over mine, our eyes inches apart. Thats my job, baby, he breathed, slowly moving inside me.
Our bodies moaned and shuddered in unison, but it was the response taking place in his eyes from our union that gripped me. They were changing, the pale hue being drowned out by the sapphire color swirling into the irises. His eyes went soft, awed as I saw the reflection in his eyes of mine doing the same.