I need this job, but I can’t fathom not getting paid. I mean to control my temper, but I can’t. I step toward her and look down at her palm, and then up into her face. “Yes, I think I should be paid and the reason is really simple—he f**ked me. He used me more than once. I was with him for two nights, letting him have his way with me. To reiterate—he had sex with me and yes, I want to be paid for that.” My muscles tense. It’s everything I can do to maintain an ounce of composure and not scream in her face.
This is Sean’s fault. If he didn’t send me back, this wouldn’t have happened.
Miss Black looks irritated. She folds her arms back over her chest as I speak. Her neck is gracefully tipped to the side. Black lets me speak, never blinking. The muscle in her jaw twitches, like she wants to yell. She holds up a single finger and responds. “You were with him one night. Tonight, he threw you out and asked for a refund.”
I try so hard to contain my anger. It wants to burst from my lips and spew horrible things everywhere. I’m so mad that I’m shaking. I counter, “I’m not a virgin anymore and it’s his fault. I can’t demand that price again. And I can’t help that I reminded Mr. Ferro of the person he was trying to forget. I deserve at least half of my payment.”
Black steps toward me with fury in her eyes, but I don’t back down. Her nose is a fraction of an inch from mine. “You don’t deserve a damn thing. You work here because I say you can. You f**k who I say you will. You have no rights, no recourse. If I don’t think you should be paid, you won’t be… However, some of your arguments are reasonable. I will let you keep a third of your fee. That’s it. Which means the money I gave you tonight needs to be given back.”
My heart sinks. The hollow spot in my chest aches. This whole thing makes Sean’s rejection so much worse. It hammers in the fact that I’m a whore and I totally pissed off my pimp. What do I do? I glance away, but Black doesn’t back off. Sensing that I’ll lose this job completely, I give in. I take a breath and let the tension roll out of my shoulders.
I look up at her. “Fine, but I spent the money you gave me. It’s already gone.”
Black’s eyes go wide. It was a lot of cash. “How? You went straight to work.” Black’s eyes dart to my purse, like she doesn’t believe me. It’s sitting in the chair across from her desk.
I reach for the handbag and open the top. “Look for yourself. I don’t have the money. I spent it all.” I hand her my purse, but Black just stares at me. After a second, she takes my bag and looks inside. I have two dollars and some change. Nothing else. I threw the rest of that money in Sean’s face.
Black makes a growling sound at the back of her throat. “Fine.” She thrusts the purse back at me. “If that’s the way you want to play, then you owe me. You’ll be working for free until you pay your debt off.”
I nod, because that’s all I can do. “You’ll get back every cent you gave me.”
Miss Black laughs. The sound makes my skin crawl. “Yes I will, because if you try to short me, Avery, I will take it out on you in a way that you couldn’t possibly fathom.” There’s darkness in her eyes that sends a chill up my spine.
I believe her.
CHAPTER 2
Two dollars. I only have two dollars, and I have to get by for at least five days. I rest my forehead on the steering wheel of my car. It has a full tank of gas, thank God. I drive back to the dorm with white smoke blowing in my face. The heater isn’t on, so I’m not sure what’s going on. By the time I pull into a parking spot and stall, I smell like a chimney.
Racing up the stairs, I try to avoid Mel and go straight to my room. But, as I’m fumbling through my bag for the keys she sees me. “Hey, white girl. What are you doing home already? I thought—”
I don’t look up at her. I try to find the keys faster, but I can’t. Mel is a few steps from me when I finally lose it. Taking the bag, I turn on my heel and hurl it at the wall. Her words stop. Mel stops. She stares at me as I let out a strangled sob, and slam my back into the wall. Sliding down, I hold my face in my hands and the tears start. I wish they wouldn’t. Not now. I was almost inside. Almost.
Mel rushes toward me and kneels next to me on the floor. I hear her footfalls and sense her presence, but don’t look up. There are more people now. I feel their eyes on me. They linger, staring at the girl having a breakdown in the hallway.
Mel snaps at them, “Move the f**k on. There’s nothing to see here.” Too many shoes hustle by, muttering under their breath about Mel’s manners. Her hand rests gently on my shoulder. “Come on, Avery. Don’t do this here. And, you sure as hell can’t go into your room. Amber’s in there with—God, I don’t even want to tell you.
“Just come on. Let’s go back to my room for the night. It’ll be just me and you. You can stuff your face with ice cream and Ambien. Come on.” Mel grabs my arm and pulls me up.
I stand, but it feels like I’m made of paper-thin glass. I wipe the tears streaming down my cheeks with the back of my hand. It leaves a black smear of mascara on my skin. I look like a freaky clown, but I don’t care. Mel grabs my purse and picks up the lipstick and other crap that flew out when it hit the wall. Quickly, she gathers my things and then pulls me back to her room. By the time we get there, my face is covered in snot. I want to fall apart. I don’t want to keep going anymore. I fall into the chair and bury my face in the arm and never get up.
“Here,” Mel hands me a box of tissues. I take them without looking up at her. She sits on the bed, across from me. For a while she says nothing. Then, Mel gets up and takes off her heels and puts away her dress. Water runs for a few minutes and then she comes out of the bathroom. After all that, Mel is in her jammies. She pulls her thick hair into a ponytail as she talks. “You can tell me, you know. I won’t judge. God knows, I don’t have the right.”
I look up at her. My vision is fuzzy. My eyes feel swollen and I can barely swallow. I don’t want to talk about it, but I feel like I need to respond. Maybe it’ll make me feel better. Maybe. My lips part slowly and the words tumble out. “I told Sean that I loved him.”
Mel doesn’t react even though I can tell she wants to. Instead, she shifts her legs and presses her lips together, trying not to chew me out. I know she wants to scream at me for being so stupid, but I also know she won’t. Mel can tell how close I am to mentally cracking. Her voice is gentle when she asks, “And then what?”
I straighten in my chair and sniffle. Dabbing the tissue to my nose, I shrug and say, “He sent me back.”
Mel’s head sways as her jaw falls open. “Like, he returned you?”
I smile sadly. “No, it’s worse than that. He exchanged me. I said, ‘I love you’ and he said he wanted a new girl.” That scary look on Mel’s face is getting worse. Clearing my throat, I choke out, “That’s not the worst part.”
“Oh shit. What else happened?”
“Before I went to Sean’s tonight, Black gave me an advance so that I could buy new clothes. She didn’t like that I was wearing the same stuff. She gave me about half of my pay. When things went the way they did, I took the money and threw it in his face. Then, I walked out.” I breathe deeply and pinch the bridge of my nose. It feels like my face exploded.
Mel’s voice is uncharacteristically quiet, “Black advanced you money and you threw it at the client?” I nod. “And Black wants it back, no doubt.” I nod again. “And I assume she fired you?”
“No,” my voice is barely a whisper. It scratches out of my throat with a toad-like quality. “I get to work for free until my debt is paid off.” I glance over at her, not wanting to, not wanting to see the look on her face.
Mel is rendered speechless for a moment, then everything comes out in a rush. “Avery, you have to go and get that money back from Sean. You don’t want things like this. Black’s not someone you want to be in debt to. You have to—”
I put up my hand and cut her off. “There is no way in hell that I will ever go back to Sean and beg to get that money back, so you can just stop there.”
“Now’s not the time for pride, Avery.”
“You’re wrong, Mel. Now is the time for pride, because it’s the only f**king thing I have left. I sold myself to some guy that liked tugging my heartstrings. He made me think that he loved me. He made me think that my whole shitty life…” My voice trails off. I can’t finish saying it. Sean gave me a reason to breathe. He gave me something to look forward to, and he lit the embers of hope inside of me. I thought I’d never feel alive again, and now that I do, I want to die. Emotional whiplash isn’t for people with broken hearts. I feel like I’ve been torn apart.
Pressing my fingers to my forehead, I rub little circles and say, “That scrap of pride is all I’ve got. I’m not going back to him. I’m not talking to him again, ever—for any reason. I’ll work it off.”
Mel nods, but I can see it on her face—she doesn’t approve. She’s thinking, trying to help me figure things out. After a second she asks, “How much do you owe? Maybe I can lend you the money. It’s better owing me than Black.” She knows something that I don’t.
I look at her for a moment and shake my head. “It was enough to buy a couple of cars, Mel. Thanks for offering, but I doubt you have it. Plus, you need to pay your bills. This was my mistake. I have to clean it up.”
“What’s she going to have you do? You know Black’s guys do some nasty stuff, right?”
I shrug. “I don’t care anymore. I really don’t. I okayed the entire sheet, you know.” Mel looks shocked. “I said I’d do anything.”
“How could you say that?” she squeaks with her jaw hanging open.
I pull my knees into my chest and wrap my arms around my legs. I don’t look at her. “How could I not? It doesn’t matter. None of this matters.”
“Are you listening to yourself? You can’t let some dumbass guy ruin your life. He wanted a f**k and you gave him your heart. He doesn’t deserve you, Avery.
“I’m so sorry. I wish I could fix this for you, but telling Black that you’ll do anything and everything is a bad plan. There are some sick bastards on her client list. They’re too twisted for me, so I know you aren’t going to be into it.
“Plus, checking the anything box gets you anything. You’re not ready for that—and no, you don’t want to know what crazy shit they do.”
I rub my eyes with the heel of my hands. “What choice do I have?” Mel doesn’t answer. I stop rubbing and look up at her.
“Go get the money back from dickwad. Say, ‘gimme my money back so I don’t have to be a hoe for free.’” I tilt my head to the side and give her an expression that says I’d rather die first. She puffs up. “Well, you realize what it means then, right? That you gave it him for free. If you let Sean keep that money, it’s like you f**ked him for nothing, and in return he gave you the biggest mind-fuck of your life. Go get your damn money back.” Mel is on her feet. She goes to her closet and pulls out a jacket, and stuff hers arms in the sleeves.