“You really want me to answer that?” He leaned forward from the backseat.
The jeep fell silent.
“Right.“ Jaymeson held out his fingers. “Drugs, death, pregnancy scares, bribery, reality shows, getting stung by a bee in the face—”
“Can’t blame us for that one,” Demetri interrupted.
Jaymeson ignored him. “Hollywood producers that want me by the balls, Angelica Greene, sex scandals—”
“Fine, fine,” I admitted. “So we aren’t the squeakiest of clean.”
“You’re kidding?” Jaymeson laughed. “If we had met on a playground at age eight, my mother would have slapped me across the head for even looking at your sandbox.”
Demetri chuckled.
“What?” I asked.
“He said ‘looking at your sandbox’.”
We groaned in unison. Safe to say, it was going to be a long day.
Chapter Two
Nat
“We totally lied to them.” I laughed.
“Go to the spa, girls,” Alyssa mimicked Demetri’s voice. “Relax, be girlie, while we go do man stuff.” She hit her chest like a cave man.
We fell into fits of laughter as Alyssa turned the corner and waited for the guys to drive off. After they had driven a safe distance down the road, we returned to the house and started getting things ready.
“You think he’s going to be mad?” I asked as I got out of the car and walked up to the beach house.
“Nah, he’ll love it.” Alyssa smirked knowingly. “I promise. It’s the best idea we’ve had… ever.”
“Ever huh?” I grinned. “I’m not so sure about that.” I stuffed my hands in my jean pockets. It was abnormally warm for August, especially by Seaside’s standards.
“The caterers should be here in a bit.” Alyssa looked at her cell phone. “And Jaymeson said that the rest of the crew would follow about an hour later.”
“Amazing.” I snorted.
“What?” Alyssa’s dark hair blew across her face as she made her way to the front of the house.
“That Jaymeson can actually keep a secret.”
“This is true,” Alyssa admitted. “But he’s all about pulling pranks on the guys, though this isn’t really a prank.”
“Surprise.” I cleared my throat. “It’s a surprise.”
“That may give your future husband a heart attack.”
“Everyone deserves a real bachelor party.” I winked. “And I’ll be sure to make this one Alec won’t forget.”
“Or Demetri.”
Laughing, I pushed through the door and said, “Admit it, those lessons totally paid off and toned our legs like crazy.”
“I lied for a month to Demetri. He thought I was at the library.”
“Wow, could you come up with a worse lie?” My eyebrows lifted.
Alyssa waved her hand at me. “Please, it’s Demetri.”
“Good point.”
“So.” She set her phone on the counter. “Let’s start moving the furniture around.”
I pushed the couch out of the way just as my mom walked in, eyes narrowing. “What are you two girls up to?”
“Uh…” Yeah, I really didn’t want to tell my mom the truth. Sure I was already pregnant but—
“Feng Shui!” Alyssa half-shouted. “It’s good for the baby.”
“How so?” My mom squinted at the couch and looked back into my guilt-ridden face.
“It helps Nat relax, kind of like… nesting.” She nodded confidently. “I looked it up online.”
“Oh… hmm.” Mom shrugged then pulled her phone out. “Nat, I just had a question about—”
The doorbell rang. Crap. The caterers were there with our chocolate-covered strawberries, amongst other things. My eyes widened as I looked at Alyssa with what I hoped was a help me expression.
“Why don’t you two go talk on the back porch? Have some ice tea?”
“Sounds great.” Mom sighed. “I’ve been on the phone all day with the wedding planner and I’m about ready to lose my mind, and don’t even get me started on that Jaymeson guy.”
“Crap.” I grabbed two glasses of ice tea and led my mom outside. “What did he do now?”
“Nothing.” Mom took her ice tea and sipped lightly. “Yet.”
“Yet?”
“The pastor’s concerned about a man such as Jaymeson stepping onto holy ground. Something about ‘getting struck by lightning’ or ‘cursing himself if he’s anywhere near something holy while he’s still black as sin’.”
“He said that?” I winced.
“I may have embellished a bit.” Mom winked. “Just keep your eye on him, Nat. I know he’s your friend, but the last thing you want is drama during your wedding. It doesn’t help that security has had to be tripled because…”
“Because of Alec?”
“No, sweetie.” Mom grabbed my hand. “Because of Jaymeson.”
“Sorry.” I sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. I just wanted everything to be perfect. It was hard to explain Jaymeson to my mom. I always felt like I was defending him or his actions, but he was just — Jaymeson. He did whatever he wanted and got away with it, but in the end he was a fiercely loyal friend. I always forgot how famous he actually was — maybe that was the problem. He put people at ease so much that they didn’t even realize they’d been had until it was too late.
I always pitied the constant stream of girls going in and out of his bed. The last time I said something about it, he shrugged and told me he would never force someone to be with him — that sleeping around was his way of making sure he never turned out like his messed up mom who had almost ruined all our lives with her crazy antics.
“Nat? Where’d you go, sweetie?” Mom pressed her cool hand to my forehead. “Are you okay?”
“Just thinking.” I gave her my brightest smile. “You know, pregnancy brain and all that.”
“Well…” Mom checked her watch. “Will you just do me a favor and talk to the boys about Jaymeson? I know you say not to worry, but I don’t have time to babysit him and neither do you. It’s a special day, and the last thing we want is his next escapade trumping my only daughter getting married.”
Smiling, I patted her hand. “No worries, Mom, the guys will take care of it.”
And I knew they would, in more ways than one. They didn’t do anything halfway. If Jaymeson decided he should seduce anyone, bridesmaids included, Demetri and Alec would probably tie him up in his own room.
“So…” Mom squinted when something clanged from inside the house. “What was that?”
“Uh, probably Alyssa. I should probably go in and see if she needs help, you’re welcome to stay if you want.” Please don’t stay, please don’t stay!
“That’s sweet of you.” Mom rose from her seat. “But I have a lot on my plate today. I’ll just go out through the back gate.”
Score.
“Love you, baby.”
“Love you too!” I said a little too excitedly as I rushed her toward the back gate, hoping to God that the caterers decided to park on the other side of the house.
Mom waved again from her car and then sped off toward downtown Seaside.
I walked around the front of the house. The catering truck wasn’t in front of our house so I looked further down the street. Awesome, it was parked in front of an abandoned beach house. Right, because that didn’t look suspicious.
Alyssa came running out of the house. “Hurry! We have to get everything set up before the rehearsal dinner.”
“Coming!” I laughed and waved over the catering truck. “Why do we need catered food?”
Alyssa smirked. “Because although I’m a brilliant maid of honor, my Betty Crocker skills are sorely lacking, and the last time I tried to make food for seduction, Demetri thought I was playing a joke on him — oh, and he also got violently ill.”
“Right.” I whistled at the truck, trying to gain their attention since clearly they were ignoring my wave. Finally it started toward us.
“They’ll like this, right?” I bit down on my lip.
“They better,” Alyssa grumbled. “Or I’ll murder them.”
Chapter Three
Alec
“Not funny.” Jaymeson folded his arms across his chest. “You guys are joking, right? Like it’s a practical joke and we aren’t really doing this as part of your bachelor party?”
“Not joking.” I slapped him on the back. “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure?”
“Do you even know your history?” Jaymeson argued. “England equals civilized sorts, America equals savages. Seriously, had I lived in the eighteen hundreds I would have been the guy betting on rain drops, not the one exploring the wilderness.”
“Such a brave, brave soul,” Demetri commented. “Now shut up and grab a stick.”
“Why?” Jaymeson kicked the dirt.
“To scare off the bears.”
“You’re shitting me.” Jaymeson swore then picked up a stick. “What the hell am I supposed to do with it?”
I was amazed that Demetri could keep a straight face, he showed Jaymeson in a few movements the way to thrust a stick into the air to ward off bears. Right.
Jaymeson followed his movements. “You’re sure this works?”
“Course.” Demetri snorted. “I medaled in bear strategies in Boy Scouts.”
Wasn’t in Boy Scouts and bear strategies wasn’t anything a person could medal in, nor did that category exist, but I was having too much fun to say anything.
Since we couldn’t technically camp overnight, we had decided to go hiking. Pretty sure Jaymeson was about five minutes away from stomping back to the car and going on strike.
It had been Demetri’s idea to bring Jaymeson along, considering we’d put the poor guy through hell this past summer, what with him not only finding out that his mother was a money-hungry whore, but also Demetri’s real mom.
Seriously, we needed our own reality show.
Except we already did that.
And failed.
I sighed and followed Jaymeson’s crazy stick movements closer to the trailhead.
The first thing I thought when we got to the Saddle Mountain Trail was that it looked a lot easier on the Internet.
“This is…” Demetri nodded. “Totally doable.”
As if God was punishing us or quite possibly laughing in our faces, it began to rain.
“Aw, crap.” Jaymeson threw the stick down. “Well, looks like we have to cancel the hike. Never fear, I’ll just search up a nice little bar we can go to.”
“Put your phone away,” Demetri snapped.
“But—”
“Now!” He threw his own stick to the ground and stomped on it. “We’re men, damn it! Are we going to let a little rain send us running back to the women?”