Jaymeson shrugged. “It’s how I roll.”
“Crap. You’re worse than Demetri was.” I chuckled and took a swig of water.
Demetri threw a towel at my head. “Thanks, man.”
I threw it back at his face. “Anytime.”
With a scowl Demetri came and stood by me. I shook my head. “It’s like watching a wild animal in its natural habitat,” I said, amused as Jaymeson began stretching and then texting on his phone. “Ten bucks says he’s setting up his next booty call.”
“Twenty and you’ve got a bet.” Demetri held out his hand.
“Gross… she’s my step-mom, gents. Show a little respect.”
The water spewed out of my mouth. I choked wildly as Demetri patted my back. “Dude, you’re supposed to drink water, not inhale it like a mermaid.”
Jaymeson’s head snapped up. “Mermaids inhale water?”
“That’s all you took from this entire conversation? Mermaids?”
“To be fair,” I said, though my voice was scratchy from choking. “To him mermaids are just another type of female he can seduce.”
Jaymeson’s eyes narrowed. “Hilarious.”
“How is that damn sexy newly-divorced mom of yours, anyways, Jaymeson?” Demetri teased.
I pretended to ignore their conversation.
“Brilliant.” He put his phone in his pocket. “She’s thinking about taking a long vacation, you know, to get away from all the media for a while.”
“Where?” The word was out before I could even think.
“Well…” Jaymeson’s eyes narrowed. “She was actually asking me about renting a beach house here. Would you guys be cool with that? I mean, she’s not going to bring any of the brothers and sisters. They’re going to stay with the nanny, but she really seemed stressed out. Like she needed a break. Then again, she’s a female, so spiders and The Bachelor stress her out, you know?”
Shit.
“I have no idea how you get so many girls.” Demetri rolled his eyes. “And it’s fine. She can stay in our house. I mean, that way she can be close to the set. You guys can bond and not have to worry about not seeing one another since we’re all holed up here in the Seaside Producer House Hell.”
“Speaking of.” I pointed to the outside cameras taking in our entire conversation.
Demetri smiled and flipped them off.
“Um…” I scratched my head. “No offense, Jaymeson, but don’t you think your mom would be more comfortable in something smaller? Safer? I mean, people know it’s our house. The media practically camps outside it.”
Demetri hit me on the back of the head. “Dude, manners!” He high-fived Jaymeson. “Don’t worry, they’re too distracted by the show and know we’re here for the next few weeks. Call her back. Tell her she can stay there.”
I looked between the two of them. I should have said something to stop the shit storm that was coming my way. Instead I turned on my heel and walked straight upstairs into Nat’s room.
A producer and camera team followed me as I barged in and sat on her bed. She was still peacefully sleeping.
I reached over and felt her forehead. At least it was cool. She’d been running a bit of a fever last night and still looked kind of crappy when she was finally able to fall asleep.
“Nat.” I kissed her cheek. “Wake up, sweetheart.”
“Mmmm.” With eyes still closed, she opened her arms to me. I was all sweaty but I hugged her anyways. “You smell like sweat.”
I laughed. “I thought you liked my sweat?”
“Only when—” Her eyes popped open. She jolted back and threw the covers over her head the minute she saw the cameras. “Go away!”
The producer laughed and stepped closer. I had half a mind to punch him in the face. Instead, I glared in his direction and said very loudly, “You sleep nak*d, right, Nat?”
“Yes.” She sounded irritated. “Or I will be in five seconds. You know the nak*dness clause for Seaside…”
Glaring, the producer stood his ground as Nat’s hands reached out from under the covers and threw down articles of clothing. First a sock, then a shirt, then another sock. I tried to hide my laughter but it was too funny. They were the ones who made the rules, not me.
With a curse, the producer pulled the camera crew out and slammed the door behind them.
I ran over to lock it, laughing the entire way.
“That was close!” Nat said from under the covers.
“So close.” My mind was elsewhere, like Nat’s nak*d body…
With a squeal she jumped out of bed fully clothed.
“What?” Yeah, it was impossible to hide my disappointment. I looked at the floor, then back at her. “Okay, Clark Kent, what gives?”
With a satisfied smirk she got to her feet and stood on the bed, then put her hand to her head and sat back down. “I’m brilliant, that’s all, and a bit dizzy. Weird.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve always known that. I mean, you beat Demetri at Cranium every game night.”
“Not my fault he doesn’t have my skills.”
“Right.” I jumped onto the bed and stood, my head nearly touching the ceiling. “And it’s not his fault you cheat at every single game you play.”
“Do not!”
I threw my head back and laughed. “Good God, woman. You cheated at checkers last week when we went to that elementary school for volunteer day.”
With a huff she crossed her arms. “That kid was pulling one over on me! He was eating my checkers!”
I licked my lips to keep from laughing. “They were chocolate.”
She pointed at my face. “He was still cheating.”
“Didn’t mean you had to scare the crap out of him and tell him all cheaters go to hell, and then eat his checkers while he took a potty break.”
With a devilish laugh Nat fell to the bed in a heap. “Ah, yes. Taught him a lesson.”
“Yes.” With a loud thump I fell onto the bed to join her. “Good one. Way to show a six year old. I’m so proud to call you my girlfriend.”
“You should be.” Her chin jutted out in a challenge as she tackled me against the mattress. “Say it. Say ‘Nat’s a winner’.”
“Nope.”
“Say it!” Her hands flew to my sides where she knew I was most ticklish. It had taken her almost our entire relationship to finally find out my weak point, and even then, I told her if it ever ended up on TMZ I was going to hide all the Swedish fish in the house.
She still hadn’t told Demetri, so I figured the secret was safe.
“Nat is…” I bit my lip and squinted down at her. “Beautiful?”
“Hmm, that’s—”
“Wait.” I pressed my finger to her lips. “I wasn’t finished.”
“Oh, do go on then.”
“Funny, charismatic, a damn good ping-pong player—”
“True story. Just ask Jaymeson.”
I narrowed my eyes.
“Sorry. Please continue telling me how awesome I am. I’m waiting.”
I leaned over to kiss her neck. “Thoughtful, sexy…”
She arched against me as my lips moved to her ear. “And mine. All mine.”
Chapter Thirteen
Demetri
“I want to know how the hell I ended up on the pink bunny team?” I shouted so everyone could hear my irritation. I was shirtless and showing the entire world my nipple rings like some escaped convict. But I didn’t care. I’d go nak*d if that’s what it took to prove my point.
Demetri Daniels does not wear pink shirts with fluffy bunnies on them. Bunnies? Were they high when they thought up this idea?
Alyssa came up behind me and jumped on my back. “Aw, is someone a poor sport?”
Ignoring her I pointed in Jaymeson’s direction. “If anyone should be the bunny it’s him. He’s the one screwing like a rabbit every second of every—”
I stopped mid-sentence when I noticed Alec’s shirt.
“You were saying?” He pointed at his shirt and shook his head in disbelief.
“Pink bunny team sounds good.” I nodded and turned just in time for him to see me laugh my ass off. Alyssa put her hands over my mouth from behind, but I still couldn’t stop laughing. I couldn’t put on that dang shirt fast enough.
“Right. Laugh it up,” Alec called out to me. “At least I don’t have to wear a bunny tail.”
From behind Alyssa dropped a fluffy bunny tail in front of my face. “Aw, hell.”
“You think your fate is any better?” I heard Nat tease. “I watched as she pulled out a pair of glittery wings and handed them to Alec. “Come on, good fairy, put them on.”
“How the hell is this teambuilding?” Alec jerked the fairy wings from her hands and lifted them into the air. I could tell he was about five seconds away from setting them on fire with his mind.
“Well…”The producer of the show, aka the host, stood in front of each of us and clasped his hands together. “I’m so glad you asked.”
“Kill me now,” Alec muttered as we gathered around. “Chris Harrison has nothing on this dude.”
“The Bachelor? Are you seriously comparing our fate to The Bachelor?”
“It’s the only show that’s close enough to Hell I can come up with.”
“How do you figure?”
Alec shrugged. “Catty women that all look like Angelica.”
“Agh…” I nodded. “Solid point.”
We both looked in Angelica’s general direction. She was trudging through the sand in nothing but cut-off shorts, a bikini top, and a frog hat.
“Guess her and Jaymeson are the freaky frogs?”
“Toads, man” Jaymeson corrected me. “We’re toads.”
“Like I care.” I smirked as Jaymeson pulled the ugliest green shirt over his body and held out his hand to Angelica.
She nearly tripped on her feet as he tugged her closer to his body in the protection of his arm. Geez, seriously. I couldn’t do that. Not even if it was my job to pretend to play nice. All I could think of when I saw that girl was either strangling her or praying for the ocean to swallow me whole.
“As I was saying…” Ruben, our producer clapped again. “This week is teambuilding week.”
“We know,” Alec said under his breath.
“And, in order to make it interesting, we’ve divided you into teams for the viewers to vote for. We polled the fans and these are the team names they chose for you, so try to be a bit more positive.”
“Well, no sense touring then, since our fans HATE US!” Alec all but yelled.
Ruben ignored him and cleared his throat. “There will be prizes for best sportsmanship, best teamwork, best-looking couple, and of course, the grand prize of two days off the show where you get to go to a resort and spa with your partner!”
“Dude…” Alec hit me with his elbow. “No offense, but I will freaking drown you and not think twice about it. I need that time with Nat.”