“That would be Bob.” I nodded and offered a smile. “I’m Demetri.”
The guy laughed warmly. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it would be impossible not to know that. How you doin’, man?”
“Can’t complain.” I motioned to the couch. “Why don’t you have a seat?”
I turned back toward the group and noticed that every single person was looking at the newcomer as if he was some sort of ghost. Even Aaron’s eyes were bulging.
Holly began to cry softly into his chest, and Alyssa’s jaw was clenched so tightly I thought her teeth were going to fall out.
What the hell?
Small towns blew, that much was true. I was clearly missing out on something important, but we only had another half hour of group left, and I had tons of stuff I needed to get through.
“I’m sorry I didn’t catch your name?” I asked the guy.
He held out his hand. “Connor. Connor Austin.”
Why did that name, of all names, sound familiar? I could have sworn the football stadium was called Austin Stadium. Must be from a rich family or something.
“Cool.” I leaned back in my chair. “You still up for pouring your guts out?”
“Yup.” He leaned forward. “I know I’m the last person you guys want to see.”
“Why’s that?” I asked. I couldn’t help it.
Connor got really silent. None of the group members were moving. It was as if the entire mood of the day had shifted.
Everything I had done didn’t matter. Not with Connor sitting there.
“Since it looks like I’m the outsider…” I cursed and ran my fingers through my hair in irritation. “Will somebody please tell me what the hell is going on?”
Connor’s face snapped to Alyssa’s; she was still looking down. “I killed someone.”
Not what I expected. I tried to play it cool. “Care to expand on that, Connor?”
“It was an accident.”
Well, that was a relief.
“I was driving to an away game. The rain was coming down in sheets. I couldn’t see a thing. A deer ran out in front of me, and I swerved. I didn’t see the truck. I didn’t know he was on the side of the road —” A sob escaped Connor’s throat. “He pulled out into traffic the minute I swerved away from the deer, so I was in his blind spot. By the time I pulled back in, I side-swiped him. The truck ran into the telephone pole.”
Alyssa bolted from her seat and ran out the door. I got up to go after her, but quickly sat back down. This was my group. I couldn’t just leave them.
Connor cursed and clenched his fist. “I killed Brady Stevens that night. Star quarterback of our football team, my best friend in the whole world.”
“Did he die instantly?” I asked. Call it morbid curiosity, but I wasn’t sure how far this grief went. Did the guy go into a coma?
Was he paralyzed for a while?
“No.” Connor sucked in a breath. “His girlfriend was with him. Nobody knows how, but his body shielded her from the impact. When she woke up, she started doing compressions. He died at the hospital.”
So the girlfriend was still living.
My mind flashed to the sweatshirt Alyssa wore all the time.
“What was his football number?”
“Fifteen.” Everyone answered in unison and looked at me and then at the empty spot Alyssa had just left.
“The girlfriend,” I stated.
Connor nodded numbly.
“Shit.”
Aaron, the person who I least expected to do anything in this type of situation, leaned forward and placed a hand on Connor’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault, you know that, right?”
Connor shook his head. “If I would have paid more attention. If…”
Sam was eerily quiet. I looked to him and noticed that he had been sitting there crying for a while.
“It was an accident,” Sam said hoarsely. “I’ve spent too many days wishing I’d have done something, anything really.” His eyes flickered to Connor. “There was nothing you could do, man, nothing any of us could do. Sometimes life is just damn unfair.”
His hands shook as he clenched and unclenched his fingers. I narrowed my eyes as I watched another tear slide down his cheek.
His response was different than the others. It was personal, more personal than even the best friend responsible. And suddenly it dawned on me. I’d seen that look on my brother’s face before — the day I was lying in the hospital bed.
“You’re his brother.”
Sam’s head snapped to attention and then his eyes narrowed. “How’d you know?”
Honestly I had no idea how the hell I knew it, or that his face reminded me of Alec’s. I shrugged. “The way you are with her, almost as if you’re trying to be him or something. Like you owe her what he didn’t follow through on. I don’t know, maybe I’m just losing my mind, but I do know one thing. You can’t take his place, man.” I looked at him dead on. “That’s how I can tell.”
“Shit.” Sam hit his hand against the coffee table and cursed again. “I know I can’t take his place, don’t you think I know that?”
“Then what the hell are you doing?” I said it calmly. I needed him to see what he was doing. The shell of a life he was leading. I don’t even know how I knew it. I could just tell. He was miserable. He didn’t want to be in Seaside, working at the aquarium.
“She needs me.”
“You can’t save her.” Whoa. Where did that come from?
Was I suddenly being gifted with wisdom instead of jackass-ness?
Sam nodded his head and then got to his feet and slowly walked to the couch where Connor sat.
“I’m sorry, man.” Connor shook his head. I’d never seen a guy cry like that before. Sobs wracked his body. I wasn’t one for man love, but I couldn’t just let him sit there. So I sat next to him on the couch and patted his back while Sam sat next to him and cried as well.
I wasn’t sure if this meant I was the worst group facilitator in the world or the best. I felt raw, upset, so many things. I didn’t even want to acknowledge my own feelings, because if I did I’d realize what a complete ass I’d been for the last two years.
People were hurting in this world.
Yes. I’ve had my fair share. But at least I had family to help me get over it. I had Alec and Nat. I was able to power through, finally.
But these people. Their cuts were still wide open for the world to see. Alyssa especially, and a part of me realized that it would take a lot more than group therapy to help the girl.
I steered the conversation toward our next meeting and walked everyone out. Sam and Connor both stopped in front of me.
Both of them had ghosts of a smile on their faces.
“Thanks, man.” Connor pulled me into a hug and slapped my back.
“No problem.” I coughed.
Sam shook his head. “Of all the people to work through this shit with us…”
I rolled my eyes. “I know, I know. I’m probably the worst.”
Sam swallowed and looked down at the ground. “No, um, I was going to say you’re probably the best.”
I didn’t know what to say.
“Are you hitting on me?” I joked.
Sam rolled his eyes. “And there he is, Demetri Daniels, certified man-whore. We’ll see you later, man.”
“Wait, you don’t want my number?” I smirked, this time I was serious.
The guys laughed and we traded numbers before I shut the door behind them.
Chapter Thirteen
Alyssa
I ran as fast as I could, but the nightmare just kept catching up to me. I saw blood, too much blood.
Sweat poured down my face as my feet pumped against the concrete. Tears mixed with sweat trickled down my lips as I gasped for air. My side hurt, my legs hurt, everything hurt, especially my heart.
Finally, after an hour of running up and down the boardwalk, I found myself at the Aquarium.
It was tourist season, so it was still open.
I walked in and found Sally right away.
Memories of Brady feeding the seals rushed back to me.
“You have to be careful, Alyssa, don’t want the seals biting your hand off.”
I rolled my eyes. “Brady, I’m fine, just give me the fish.”
“Say please.”
“No.”
“What?” He laughed, his blue eyes sparkling. “Did you just say no?”
I nodded my head and stuck out my tongue. “I will not apologize, now give me the fish.”
“At least pay the toll.”
“Fine.” I stepped forward and kissed him on the lips.
Sally chose that exact moment to splash both of us.
Brady laughed and lifted me up so he was bracing me against the wall. “I kind of like you, you know that, right?”
“I kind of like you too,” I said, breathless.
“You’re a hot cheerleader.”
“You’re a sexy quarterback.”
We laughed and kissed some more. Sally splashed for attention.
I didn’t realize I was still crying until I noticed my tears were falling onto the concrete fence in front of the cage.
“You okay?” The voice pierced my pain, only slightly. I turned to see Demetri leaning against the door.
“How’d you know I was here?”
“Easy.” He shrugged. “I put a tracking device in your taffy.
It’s all part of my evil plan to take over the world. One hot girl at a time.”
I laughed. I couldn’t help it. The jerk, he would make me laugh when I was trying to wrap myself up in all that pain.
“Truthfully?” He walked toward me and leaned against the concrete wall. “I figured this was where I would go if I were you. It has happy memories, and right now you need to be cheered up.”
“They told you.”
“I guessed.”
I sighed. “So now you know.”
“No.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug. “I know nothing. I want to hear it from you, but not until you’re ready. In fact, I remember a while back making a little deal with you. I tell you something hard and you tell me. Technically someone else told me, but I’ll still count yours for the day.”
I closed my eyes and nodded as I placed my head against his chest and sighed again. He felt so comfortable, so good.
“I loved my girlfriend, Cassie, so much.”
I wanted to tense and push away, but really, wasn’t I mourning a lost love too? I would be the biggest hypocrite on the planet if I did that. So I waited for him to continue.
“My brother and I were drunk one night and made a bet. I’d been wanting to sleep with her for months. I was fifteen and horny.”
“And you’re different now…?” I whispered into his chest.
His laugh warmed me from the inside out. “Very funny.”
His hand moved to my head as he caressed my hair. “Anyway, my brother was giving me so much crap about it that finally I had enough. I told him that even he couldn’t get in her pants. Before all this happened Alec had always been the lady killer. I know, hard to believe, but it’s true.”