“Oh dear.” Grandma held her hand to her cheek. “Things, as in…” She shrugged. “When making babies…”
“Oh, dear God.” Travis closed his eyes and looked heavenward.
“It’s important to keep one’s legs elevated. Well, that’s how Wescott was brought into this world!” She sighed. “Among other things, you keep the legs high like this.” Grandma then proceeded to open the car door, sit down and lift her legs into a pike position. “But naturally you’re laying down. Do you understand?”
“People are starting to stare, Grandma,” Jake said.
“And then.” She put her legs down. “After a half hour, you turn over, much like you would turn over a roast in the oven.”
“Do people turn over roasts in the oven?” Char wondered aloud. “Never baked like that before.”
“Then you, my dear, need to take a few pointers from me,” Grandma snapped.
“No thanks.” Char stepped back.
Grandma set her eyes on Travis and Kacey. “Those little soldiers better be strong! But they have Titus blood in them so they should do an adequate job.”
“Adequate?” Travis nodded. “Kinda thought they’d be more than adequate.”
“They will.” Kacey patted his back.
“Oysters.” Grandma nodded. “Eat more oysters, gets the blood flowing to all the right areas; those soldiers will be ready for an all-out war!”
“Ah, war,” Jake said. “Pipe dream, but yet, here we stand.”
Grandma scowled at him then looked back to Kacey. “Dear, do you have any… questions, for your grandmother?”
Travis raised his hand as did Jake.
Ignoring them, Grandma patted Kacey’s hand. “I know it can be scary, but what you do, you do for your Grandma. Just go into that bedroom and think, I’m doing this for Grandma.”
“Don’t.” Travis shook his head. “Please don’t give us that mental image, I beg you…”
“I need great-grandchildren.” Grandma shrugged. “Now, don’t fail me!” With a sigh she reached into her purse. “These should also help.”
“What’s that?” Travis pointed as Grandma put a large necklace around Kacey’s neck.
“Fertility beads.” Grandma shrugged as if everyone should know what they were.
“Awesome.” This from Jake as he laughed.
“You’re next,” Travis murmured, then put his arm around Kacey. “I think we’d better go uh…”
“Play battleship with your soldiers?”
He grinned. “I’ll sink your ship anytime.”
“Hmm, I may just let you.”
Grandma elbowed Jake in the ribs. “What did I tell you? Those beads work wonders. Look at those two.”
Kacey ignored Grandma and got into the car. “Thanks for the, uh, advice.”
“Anytime!” Grandma waved. “And if you have… problems, you just give your Grandma a call, okay?”
“When hell freezes over.” Travis started the car.
“What was that?” Grandma cupped her ear.
“Love you!” He shouted, then peeled out of the parking lot.
Kacey reached across the console and gripped his hand. “Ready to play?”
“Damn.” He laughed. “I’ve been waiting my whole life.”
* * *
“Kace, if you don’t come through that door in five seconds I’m breaking it down,” Travis shouted from the bedroom. They were spending their wedding night in the new wing of the house, rather than at the suite that Jake and Char were staying in.
“One more minute.” She laughed and stripped down to nothing. He thought she had some fancy lingerie, but nope, she had just herself.
“Kace, I’m serious!” Travis yelled. “You’re killing me.”
“Well.” Kacey unlocked the bathroom door. “I wouldn’t want my new husband to die, now would I?”
Slowly, she opened the door and leaned against the frame. Travis turned around and looked his fill. Mouth open, his eyes caressed her as he went from her toes slowly all the way up her body, until his eyes met hers. “Damn.”
“Really?” She smiled.
“Dear God.” He stalked toward her and lifted her into his arms, crushing her mouth against his. “I’m obsessed with your body.”
“Trav—”
His tongue pushed past the barrier of her lips as his hands burned onto her hips. He lifted her to the bed and threw her down. “I’m not going to be gentle. I can’t; it’s not in me. I love you and I promise the second time will be super slow and I’ll be romantic and say all the right things, but right now, all I really want is to be inside you, all around you, near you, on you, under you.” He swore again as he ripped off his clothes. “So help me God if I touch you any more I’m going to explode.”
The next thing Kacey knew, he was on top of her, kissing her, teasing her, pulling her hair and then rolling onto his back so she could straddle him with her legs.
Travis’s eyes rolled back as he exhaled another curse, his hands roaming down her skin leaving trails of heat with every single touch. “God, I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She leaned over and kissed him, her hair creating a curtain across their faces as he rocked her tighter against him.
His face broke out into a grin as she tugged him to the side and allowed him to hover over her body. “I can’t—” He swore. “Don’t judge me based on this performance, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Well, I’ll just average out the past performances and add this one in, fair?”
“Fair.” He pressed into her and cried out. At her gasp, he stopped and then very slowly kissed her across the mouth. “Damn, I’m glad you married me.”
“Stop stalling.” She moved against him.
“Yes ma’am.”
Chapter Sixty-three
Jake watched Char as she grabbed a glass of wine and met him on the back porch. Beth and Jace had gone for a walk by the river. Grandma’s idea, not theirs. But they humored her as most people did and said they’d be back later to make plans for breakfast the next morning.
“So.” Jake clinked his glass with hers. “Where to for the honeymoon? I mean technically you were fired, so we could go for a whole month if you want.”
Char giggled. “Just like that? We just leave tomorrow on the first plane anywhere?”
“Yeah.” Jake leaned in to kiss her. “Just like that.”
“But I don’t have a passport.”
Jake shrugged. “So we can wait to go grab it and fly out of Seattle, or stay in the States.”
“Hawaii.” Char seemed nervous as she looked away and took a sip of wine.
“Can I ask why Hawaii?”
She leaned back on her hands, the moonlight reflecting off her tan skin as she closed her eyes and exhaled. “My parents always promised they’d take me. First it was after high school graduation, but something came up, and then college, and, well… you can imagine. It was always an empty promise. And I’ve always wanted to go.”
Damn, he loved her. He’d buy her Hawaii if it was possible. “Then Hawaii it is.” He kissed her cheek.
“Kids?” Grandma opened the door to the back and came outside. “There you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
She pulled out a chair and sat. “Now, I know my methods aren’t always sound.”
“Well, there’s the understatement of the century,” Jake said.
“Ass.” She narrowed her eyes. “At any rate, I would like to apologize.”
“Really?” Jake leaned forward on his haunches and grinned. “For what?”
“Everything.”
“Which would be…” Jake prompted. “What exactly?”
Grandma looked away and said in an irritated voice, “The fertility dance, but in my defense I had to be sure that you felt the tension.”
“Oh, we felt it.” Char laughed and then noticing Jake’s irritated glance regained her composure.
“And?” Jake eyed his grandmother.
“The drugstore wedding gift.” She sniffed.
“Right.” Jake swore. “Thanks for that.”
“Oh posh. You needed to be taken down a few, or a lot. Tell me, did they use the sound system to bring the condoms forward? I was so hoping they would!”
Jake ignored her and shook his head. “And what else, Grandma? What are you really apologizing for?”
“Tricking you into getting a marriage license. But do you even understand the laws I had to break in order to get that done! The money that exchanged hands, the favors that were given!” She stood and began to pace. “Why, I had to donate to the damn Chamber of Commerce!”
“My heart bleeds,” Jake said dryly.
“And all because I was doing you two a favor.”
After a few seconds Jake finally said, “You’re right.”
“I am?” Grandma’s head popped up. “I mean, yes, yes I am, and don’t you forget it! Now, where’s that lovely sister of yours, Char?”
“Oh no.” Jake grabbed his grandmother’s hand and directed her back toward the house. “Your days of meddling are over.”
“But—”
“Bed, now. And be sure to be alone or I’m grabbing the whistle.”
“You wouldn’t dare disturb my sanctum!”
“I would, and I will. It’s what you deserve and more.”
Head held high, she stomped back into the house, her heels clicking across the wood floor the entire way down the hall.
“Would you take it back?” Char asked from behind him.
He turned and pulled her into a hug. “No. Never, not even a question. Would you?”
“I’ve waited since eighth grade to be your girlfriend; may as well be your wife.” She winked and then kissed him soundly.
Epilogue
Airplanes.
Every single ride for the past year had been filled with drama. At least now he could rest easy. He had his wife with him, not to mention Travis and Kacey, who at the last minute had decided to change their honeymoon plans and go with them to Hawaii.
Who would ever have thought Jake would be going on a honeymoon? With his brother? And the girl he used to make fun of? Not to mention his wife. Good Lord, his life was like an epic melodrama.
At least Grandma wasn’t coming.
He laughed nervously as he took off his sunglasses and helped Char carry her bag into the terminal.
“What’s so funny?” she asked.
“Nothing.” Jake sighed. “It’s just the last time I flew, Grandma showed up and decided to join me on the trip. Life was never the same.”
Char laughed. “Admit it. You’re glad she intruded.”
“I’ll take it to my grave,” Jake growled, kissing her across the mouth.
“None of that.” Travis said from behind them. “Not until you’re in your honeymoon suite, and even then I’m just going to pretend you guys are playing checkers or something.”