Phoenix closed his eyes, and when he opened them it was almost as if there was a chasm between us. His choices, my loyalty to Trace, our past demons—there may as well have been a lifetime of separation from the door to the chair.
“I didn’t want it. But I was given no choice. He took it from me the minute I found out the truth.”
My heartbeat picked up. “Who? Who told you?”
“I know I’m an ass.” Phoenix licked his dry lips and broke eye contact. “And I know what I did to Trace was unforgiveable. Jealousy’s a bitch and all that, but honestly, the only way I can atone for my many sins is to keep you the hell away from him, away from the truth. I’m taking it to my grave not because death sounds like a really fun idea, but because the second I tell you anything, I damn you and the rest of your family along with me. He’ll stop at nothing.”
“But—”
“Just say thank you.” Phoenix laughed bitterly. “For saving your sorry life.”
I swallowed. “That’s just the thing. It was never supposed to be at your expense.”
“Better mine than yours,” Phoenix growled. “Leave me alone, Nixon. Go home to your perfect life, your beautiful girlfriend and loads of money. Go home, and if you come back, you better be prepared to shoot me in the head.”
I closed my eyes. I couldn’t look at him when I promised… “I’ll discuss it with the rest of the Elect.”
“Not good enough!” Phoenix shouted, his voice hoarse with emotion. “When we made our little club, we promised. If any of us got into deep shit, if any of us were putting someone else in danger, we’d shoot them. Do me the favor. Drown me, for all I care. But shoot me before they get the information because I don’t know if I’m strong enough, man. I don’t know if I’m selfless enough. Damn, I know I’m not selfless enough to crack even though I know I’ll still die. So, when you come back, bring your gun and some prayer beads.”
“All right.” I slammed the door before I could go back on my word.
We’d made that contract, the Elect contract, when we were teenagers. We knew the family business, saw lots of our uncles and friends die for information or die because they were rats.
We knew what happened to them when they were tortured.
One night, Phoenix had walked in. Blood caked his fifteen-year-old hands.
“I killed him.”
“What?” I grabbed some old clothes from the floor. “What do you mean, you killed him?”
“Uncle John.” Phoenix sniffled. “I killed him. Dad said it was time to break me.”
“Break you?” I repeated. “As in—”
“Time to learn the business.” Shaking, Phoenix fell to his knees in front of me, tears streaming down his pale face. “I didn’t want to hurt him, but Dad said we had to silence him for what he did.”
“What did he do?”
Phoenix shook his head. “I don’t know.” He wiped his sleeve across his nose and sniffed, “It must have been really bad, though.”
“I’m sorry, Phoenix. What can I do?” I put my arm awkwardly around his shoulders and sighed.
“What if that’s us?” he whispered. “That could be us. What if I trust the wrong person and get killed? What if I do something to piss my dad off, or worse, your dad?”
I cringed, because I’d thought of that exact same thing over and over again until I could no longer sleep at night.
“I don’t want to die that way, Nixon.”
“What do you mean—?”
“They beat him!” Phoenix’s lower lip quivered. “They beat him in front of my aunt and then… I beat him because they told me to and she…” He began to hyperventilate. “She told me it was okay. She handed me the gun and—”
“It’s okay.” I patted his shoulder. “You don’t have to talk about it.”
“It’s not like TV, Nixon. It’s not.” He began rocking back and forth. “There’s so much blood and it’s quiet, Nixon. It’s so damn quiet when someone dies. It’s just like, all of a sudden, their eyes have no life and there’s blood, and people started talking about the game last night as if someone didn’t just die.”
He looked up at me. “Promise me something…”
Tex walked into the room with Chase; both of them looked from Phoenix to me then back to Phoenix.
“Anything.” I knelt down on the ground and faced him.
“We make a pact. The four of us.” Phoenix looked up, his eyes glassy from crying. “If any of us get into deep shit, regardless of if it’s our fault or not, we do the person the favor of killing them. I don’t want to die a rat. I don’t want to die like that, Nixon.”
I glanced at Chase. He nodded once and pulled out his knife, slicing open his palm and then handing the blade to Tex.
“We promise,” I said, slicing my own hand and shaking each one of their bloody hands before wiping my own blood onto my jeans. “A quick death.”
“In the head,” Tex agreed.
“It’s done.”
Phoenix nodded and rose to his feet.
I’d made him a promise. Funny thing was, I had totally forgotten about the promise and now that Phoenix had reminded me, I knew I couldn’t go back, not on a blood oath, no matter how old I was when I made it.
I sent a quick text to Chase.
BATCAVE
He replied right away.
OMW
The only good part about my day was that I was going to see Trace again, but technically that could be defined as bad, considering I’d pushed her almost-naked form away from me this morning.
Shit, she’d looked good.
Damn.
Hell.
There weren’t enough curse words in the world to describe how irritated I was with my decision to push her into Chase’s arms. But really, what choice did I have?
I needed her alive more than I needed my next breath. Even if it meant she would never be mine. I needed her to be okay.
I went into the Elect hangout and rummaged around in the fridge for a sandwich.
Giggling interrupted my hunt. What the hell?
Whispers and then more giggling.
I shut the fridge and walked over to the spare bedroom and opened the door.
“Tex?”
Tex tumbled out of the bed, using the sheet to cover his body. I rolled my eyes and was briefly traumatized over the fact I was about to see my sister nak*d, when… my eyes saw blond hair, not brown.
“Son of a bitch,” I yelled and lunged for Tex. His eyes widened briefly before he backed up.
“Wait!” He put his hands up. “I can explain.”
“Make it fast.” I clenched my teeth and leaned in. “Because I’m about five seconds away from murdering you!”
“Mo knows!” Tex held up his one hand in front of himself. “We broke up! Okay?”
“So if I call her right now, and ask her if you guys are dating, she’ll say no?”
“No.” Tex cursed. “Because we decided this family had enough drama going on, without us adding to it.”
“I still don’t believe you.” I crossed my arms. “You’ve been sneaking in and kissing and—”
“Wow, you really don’t know your sister as good as you think you do.”
“I have a gun,” I pointed out. “Don’t piss me off.”
“Go away!” Tex yelled at the girl in the bed. She grabbed her clothes and scurried out of the room as fast as her bare legs could take her. Tex sat on the bed and cursed. “She’s scared shitless, man.”
“Who is?”
“Mo!” Tex yelled. “See? This is what I mean! Everyone’s so damn worried about Trace and her grandfather and Luca, but shit, Nixon! Your sister just lost her father a few months ago. You’re all she has and you aren’t making it better by acting like you’re five seconds away from losing it whenever we’re all together.”
“I don’t know what you mean—”
“Shut the hell up,” Tex snorted. “I’ve known you since we were three and were forced to play in the same sandbox. You’re freaking out over Trace and I bet you aren’t sleeping, not with Chase in the same room as she is.”
Damn him for knowing that.
“Everything’s under control,” I snapped.
“It’s not!” Tex sighed. “Shit, I’m like one day away from stealing pot from one of my dad’s men just so I can get high and pretend I don’t have something stuck up my ass.”
“Good plan.” I sat on the bed and faced him.
“Clearly, I haven’t thought it through,” Tex grumbled. “The point is, I stay with Mo every night because she has nightmares. She’s scared, Nixon. We all are. It’s not just about you and Trace. It’s about all of us. Someone’s leaking information and until we find out who betrayed whom and who’s talking… we’re all on the chopping block.”
“He’s right,” Chase said from the doorway. Trace was standing behind him, a confused look on her face.
“He’s nak*d.” Trace pointed at Tex as he covered himself with a sheet and cursed.
“Shit man,” Chase chuckled. “Didn’t know you’d be desperate enough to switch teams since you can’t have a girlfriend anymore.”
“Shut up,” Tex and I said in unison.
Still laughing, Chase nodded to Tex. “I take it you and Mo aren’t an item anymore?”
“Who says ‘item’?” Trace nudged him from behind and rolled her eyes. “And no, they aren’t an item, weirdo. They’re on a much-needed break.”
“Thanks,” Tex interjected. “I knew Mo would tell you.”
“I know all.” Trace sighed.
I shoved my hands in my pockets and looked at all the expectant faces. Even though Trace wasn’t technically part of the Elect, anything that happened with Phoenix directly affected her.
I walked to the door and shut it, cloaking all of us in silence as I ran my fingers through my hair and cursed. “Phoenix wants me to kill him.”
“Do it,” Chase snorted. “No, actually, allow me.”
“That sly son of a bitch,” Tex snorted. “He’s calling up the oath we made that night, isn’t he?”
“Yup.” I bit down on my lip ring and glanced quickly at Trace. It was impossible to read her expression, but if I was a betting man, I’d say she was pissed.
“We made that damn oath when we were fifteen.” Chase moved to stand in front of me. “No way in hell am I being that kind to him, not after what he did.”
“We”—I enunciated my words carefully—“made an oath. Regardless of age, we keep our promises. He wants us to return tomorrow. He’s going to die either way.”
“What?” Trace pushed Chase out of the way and approached me. Was it my fault that the minute she stepped within arm’s length it took every ounce of willpower I had not to pull her into my arms and kiss her senseless? Damn, I missed her touch. I missed just being by her. It was killing me slowly from the inside out. “Why would he die either way?”