“The door?” Seriously, did she drink last night?
“Thank you.” Lisa rolled her eyes. “Not that.” She pointed at the door. “That.”
A piece of paper was folded on the floor. It had my name on it. Holy crap! My name, in really nice handwriting.
“It’s not like it has anthrax in it.” Lisa bent down and picked it up. “Read it.” She thrust it in my face. “Come on! I’m curious.”
The coffee pot dinged. I snatched the paper and went to pour us both cups of coffee. Once seated, I tore into the note and read.
People don’t write letters anymore… such a shame, don’t you think? Day 1. Your mission, if you choose to accept it: Make two new friends, you know, people other than your roommate and her cousin. I don’t count either. Be sure to smile really big and raise your hand at least once in class. I’ll see you at lunch.
Your friend—Wes.
My smile couldn’t get any bigger if it tried. I re-read the note again and again, each time I read it, my heart pounded harder in my chest. It was the first morning in two years that I wasn’t thinking about my past. In fact, I hadn’t thought once about my parents’ accident. I was too happy, too excited to think about anything but the fact that a guy had written me a letter.
“Well?” Lisa asked. “What’s it say?”
“I’m getting married!”
“WHAT?” She screamed.
“Kidding,” I said, laughing as I held out the note. “Here, it’s from Wes.”
“Oh, so now it’s Wes?” Her eyebrows arched.
“Uh…” I looked away. “I meant Weston.”
“Right,” she grumbled and started reading. Her smile grew just like mine had, and by the time she was done she looked up, tears of excitement in her eyes. “He wrote you a love note!”
“It’s more of an instruction card.” I waved her off. “Clearly he’s trying to push me out of my shell.”
“Well, you are kind of like a hermit. And you did grow up in—” She paused “What’s the name of that rock you lived under? The one with one store?”
I sighed. “Bickelton.”
“Right. There.” She shook her head. “You need to get out and live. Methinks that Weston Michels thinks so too…”
“But—” I didn’t want to sound lame. Insecurity won over, making my voice shaky. “Why me?”
“Why not you?” She threw the letter onto the table. “You’re beautiful and you sparked his interest. Does there have to be a reason?”
“There’s always a reason,” I explained. “Guys like that don’t just pay attention to girls like me.”
“Girls like you are the reason guys like him exist.” Lisa smiled warmly. “You don’t see yourself how others see you. Maybe he sees more than you do when you look in the mirror. Whatever it is, don’t brush him off. He’s making an effort, and if I were you, I’d say thank you to God in my prayers tonight.”
I smiled. “Maybe I will.”
“Great.” She stood abruptly and stretched. Something glittered beneath her shirt — was that a belly ring? “Now, let’s get ready for our first class!” She did a little dance and ran off to her room, leaving me with my coffee and my note.
Chapter Eleven
Drugs suck. Getting hit by a three hundred pound lineman? Yeah, sucks way harder.
Weston
“Michels!” Coach Jackson yelled. “Where’s your head this morning, huh? Focus!”
Right. Focus. Stop thinking about red hair and mega-watt smiles and what that smile would feel like if it was directed at me again, and that red hair again running through my hands, and—
“Michels!” The football snapped just in time for me to grab it and finish the play. I seriously needed to stop getting so distracted by her. What the hell was wrong with me?
By the time practice finished I had enough bruises to last me a lifetime, not the best sign for a quarterback.
“Where were you today?” Brad asked throwing off his clothes and jumping into the shower.
“Not present,” I grumbled doing the same.
“Right.” He snorted. “Better get present if we want that bowl game this year.”
I hated talking about the future. What was the point anyway? I nodded and gave him a gruff. “Yeah, you’re right.”
Once I was done showering, I went to one of the many school coffee shops and grabbed a protein shake. Two classes and then I could see Kiersten. She would have read my note by now, so she was either pissed or smiling. I hoped she was smiling. In fact, I hoped that when she woke up and read the note, she’d forget all about how to frown.
****
“Lunch.” I pushed a pile of food toward Kiersten and watched for a minute as she examined it with distaste. “You have to eat.”
“Not hungry.” She pushed the tray away and crossed her arms over her stomach.
“Bad first few classes?”
She glared.
I held up my hands. “Wanna talk about it?”
“I can’t.” Her face flushed as she looked around the cafeteria. Most everyone was staring at us as if we’d just announced we were going to adopt one of Brad Pitt’s twenty children.
“I’ll take care of it.” I sighed and sent a quick text to James. He hated covering for me, but at least it got people to stop gawking. I watched him across the cafeteria. He looked at his phone, scowled, and then threw his newspaper onto the table. In an instant he was walking toward us, after two or three strides he collapsed onto the floor.
Everyone gasped.
“Okay, so now they aren’t staring.” I nodded to Kiersten, “What happened in class?”
“Is he all right?” She pointed at James.
“Low blood sugar.” I looked away for a brief moment and cleared my throat. “So class?”
“Should we, like, call someone?” She pulled out her cell. I grabbed her wrist and shook my head. “He’ll be fine in about ten minutes or as long as it takes for you to tell me your story.”
“O-okay.” She kept staring at James but at least she was talking. “I raised my hand in class, but the professor reprimanded me for correcting him.”
I winced.
“And I made two new friends.”
I smiled.
She didn’t.
“Let’s just say they’re a bit more friendly than you.”
I swear I saw two deaths by my hands. “Who were they? Did they touch you? Hurt you? I’ll kill them, seriously. I’ll—” I stood and started frantically looking around the cafeteria for any punk freshman that was staring at her cross-eyed.
“Sit down.” She pulled me to my seat and shook her head. “I told them I had a boyfriend, case closed.”
“I meant friends who were girls.” Blood roared in my ears. “Not guys.”
“Well?” She threw her hands into the air in frustration. “They were the only two people that approached me.”
“I bet they were,” I grumbled.
“Wes?”
She called me Wes.
I could die happy.
Most people called me Wes. I hadn’t told her it was okay. It seemed natural. It’s how I’d signed my note.
I was turning into a chick.
My smile grew as her eyes narrowed.
“What?” she asked.
“Nothing.” I grabbed her hand and kissed it. “Just happy.”
“That I failed at your little list?”
“No failure.” I shook my head. “You tried and that’s what counts. You need to get out from underneath the cloud.”
Her nostrils flared as she grabbed her bag and stood. “I gotta go.”
“Sit.”
“No.”
“Sit.” I jerked her down to the seat and softly held her hand in mine. I could feel her pulse in her wrist; it was erratic, angry. “I’m not sorry.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You remind me of my brother.”
“Huh?”
“Coma. Died,” I explained. “Overdosed.”
“Gee, thanks,” she said through clenched teeth.
I pushed back the dark thoughts of my brother’s demise, barely holding it together by a thread. “Depressed, talented, awesome, my favorite person in the world… he was all those things. And you — you remind me of him. I don’t know why, but you just do. So yeah, I’m pushing a little, but I think you can take it. Tell me you’re strong enough to take it.”
“You don’t know me.” Her voice was hard. It had an edge to it that I wasn’t used to hearing from girls.
“I do.”
“You. Don’t.”
I released her hand. “Better than you realize. Look, I don’t sugarcoat things, and I sure as hell don’t have time to be that guy. The one who waits for weeks to finally crack all your defenses. I’m different. Maybe I’m too intense. I get that. My methods are crazy. But I’m drawn to you — and honestly, you need me.”
“I don’t need anyone,” she whispered, sounding like she hardly believed herself let alone was capable of convincing anyone else.
“You do,” I said. “And I’ll wait until you say it to my face if that’s what it takes for you to realize it.”
With that, I got up from my seat and left her. I’d keep writing my notes. I’d keep pushing her.
Maybe if I could save her — I let out a rugged breath… maybe in saving her I’d be saving him. I couldn’t then, but I can now.
Chapter Twelve
People should just mind their own business. Right? I mean, how am I his problem?
Kiersten
“Who the hell does he think he is?” I yelled into the phone.
Uncle Jo sighed heavily on the other line. “He sounds like a nice young man, and he does have a point.”
I wanted to throw something against the wall. I pulled out another pill and crunched it between my teeth. It was bitter, but I didn’t care. I needed to feel better. I mean, in theory I knew antidepressants weren’t supposed to be taken like that, but the placebo effect was enough — for now.
“Kiersten, he was being a good friend. You do tend to wear your emotions on your sleeve.”
“I’ve known him a day! And what? He wants to help me? To save me? He’s making it worse!”
“How so?” Uncle Jo asked in a calm voice. “It seems to me that he’s pulling off the band-aid you’ve been gluing to your feelings. I’m no expert, but you can only function at the level you’ve been functioning at for so long. I allowed you to go to school four hours away so that you could have your freedom. Remember our agreement.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I sat on the bed and groaned. “Shape up or you ship out and pack my crap.”
His chuckle calmed me. “Exactly. You haven’t dealt with your grief in a healthy way. You shouldn’t still be on antidepressants, you shouldn’t be so uptight. For God sake Kiersten. You’re eighteen!”