"She looks so happy," I murmured, glancing over at Andrew. He was leaning up against the railing, his blue eyes focused on the skating couple on the ice. The wind ruffled his hair, and the cold made his cheeks bright.
"She told me she was furious when she first saw Ray at the restaurant," he said, looking out at them. "She said she has avoided him ever since Dad died because she didn't want to feel something he couldn't return. She thought he was happy with Barb, and she didn't want to get in the way of that. She thought not seeing him would spare everyone heartache. When she heard he was divorced, she felt like she had a second chance, even though she wasn't sure he would still want her." He turned toward me, his eyes catching mine and refusing to let go. "Thank you, Holly, for giving her that."
I blushed and looked at my boots on the wooden deck, his praise warming me down to my toes. "It wasn't just me, you know. You and Luke have just as much to do with this as I do. I don't deserve credit for this. Honestly, your mom and Ray deserve the credit—they're the ones doing all the hard work."
"This is the happiest I have seen her since Dad died. I caught her singing while she made dinner last night, and she only called me at work twice to make sure I was all right," Andrew said, turning his gaze to the skating couple.
A woman in a fur-trimmed coat bumped into me, pushing me against Andrew. He caught me easily, his hands strong on my arms, his body solid against mine. I looked up, and his blue eyes twinkled back at me as he helped me to my feet. His eyes made the blue sky seem dull in comparison, and I knew I could get lost in them. The woman apologized and continued on her way, but I could still feel Andrew’s warmth. I blushed and smoothed my coat, both of us laughing at the near accident.
"You want some cocoa? I remember how good it was last time my mom brought me here," he offered, running a glove through his hair. I nodded, and he disappeared into the main building, weaving in and out of the growing crowd.
I turned back to the lake, my breath frosting the air. The sun was starting to set, turning the fresh snow a golden red as it pulled the blanket of mountains up over its head. Below me on a second tier of the deck, a bonfire popped and crackled, the smoke rising gently into the deepening sky. I watched the dark tendrils of smoke fade into the oncoming twilight, feeling peaceful.
A murmur rose from the crowd as the ice was suddenly illuminated. They had placed colored lights around the skating areas, making the ice and snow shimmer like a fairy land. The house behind me streamed out a warm, welcoming glow toward the lake, beckoning cold skaters in from the icy air.
I could see Audrey and Ray hand in hand making slow circles on the lake. They projected a happiness I didn't know was possible. I wondered what had driven them apart so long ago; watching them fall in love for the second time was like getting to witness magic. I didn't know how it was happening, I didn’t want to question it; I just wanted to let it happen.
"Hot chocolate for the lady." Andrew's voice cut through my thoughts. I turned and took the hot Styrofoam cup in my hands, breathing in its aroma. Chocolate, frost, and pine smoke all mixed in a delicious medley that would forever remind me of winter in the mountains.
The crowd was beginning to grow on the deck, pushing Andrew and me together. I could feel him against me, steady and strong as waves of people moved across the deck. This close to him, I could smell his cologne. He was wearing the same cologne as he did in high school, and it smelt as good then as it does now. It was something his dad had picked out for him after catching him with the junk the other high school boys were wearing. He smelled like clear water with just a hint of musk, masculine and solid. Whenever I smelled it, I thought of him.
"The lady at the counter said there is supposed to be fireworks tonight," he said sipping on his cup. He pointed up to the clear sky where stars were starting to twinkle. "Good night for it."
"You think our lovebirds will even notice?" I said as I gestured toward the lake.
"I think they are already seeing fireworks." He grinned at me. I looked back out to the lake, but I could no longer find the happy couple. "Where'd they go?"
"They were there a minute ago. What time is it?" I glanced at my watch to see that over an hour had gone by without me noticing it. Andrew had that effect on me. "The wine tasting has started. You want to go skate?"
"Let's eat first. I saw one of those foodie trucks on the other side of the building when I got the hot chocolate.” he suggested, “The food they were selling smelt delicious.” I nodded, and we began working our way through the crowd toward the truck.
We stood in line for a couple of minutes, the smell of hamburgers and bacon wafting toward us. When we finally got our food, we found a quiet spot off a snowbank and sat devouring the tasty meal. We continued joking and laughing until my feet felt numb. Andrew stood first, offering a hand to help me stand.
"Ready to skate? I remember you used to be pretty good," he said with a grin.
"If by good you mean that I have a lot of skill at falling on my butt properly, then yeah, I'm pretty good," I said, dusting the snow off my coat. He laughed and we headed back to the lake, stopping at the Lake House to pick up some skates.
I was worse than I remembered. Within two steps of having put on my skates, I was down on my backside with tears in my eyes from the impact. Andrew smiled apologetically at me as he glided perfectly to my side, giving me his hand to help me up. I stood up slowly, splaying my legs like a colt just learning to walk, refusing to let go of him. He pulled me in close to him, his body being the rock I could to support myself on.
"You can do this. Just glide across the ice. One foot out, good, now push and move the other," he coached gently. His breath was warm on my cheek, and I had to force myself to concentrate on the ice rather than how wonderful he smelled, on how perfectly his hands fit in mine, or the way his voice sounded. I couldn't go down that road. We moved slowly, awkwardly across the ice, my sluggish legs slowly learning the motion. Even when I started to be able to maneuver more smoothly, I didn't let of of Andrew's hand; safety resided in his grasp.
Once we had skate around the circle, and I was feeling more confident in my ability to at least stay standing. I let go of his hand, ready to try it on my own, and pushed out ahead of him. I glanced over my shoulder, grinning at my own independence. Andrew's returning smile made me blush.
I tried my best to skate gracefully, making it almost full circle before stumbling over my own feet. I felt the pit of my stomach rise up into my throat as my hands flailed at the air and my legs slipped out from under me. But I never hit the ground. Andrew caught me before I fell, wrapping his arms around me and keeping me up when I was sure I was going to fall. As he held me, my legs slowly found their way back underneath me but my knees still felt like jelly. Even in the darkness, he was still the most attractive man I had ever known.
"Well, I'll let the hockey team know that you won't be ready this season, but maybe next year," he joked, holding me for a moment longer than necessary before letting go. My heart fluttered in my chest, and I hoped it was dark enough he couldn't see the blush burning on my cheeks.
"I think I'm done for a little while. Besides, the fireworks are supposed to start soon," I said trying to regain my composure. I knew if I stayed out on the ice with him, I would fall on purpose just so he would catch me.
"Yeah, um... I'd like to do a couple laps. How about you go get us a spot? I'll come find you," he said quickly, not waiting for me to answer before taking off. I looked after him, perplexed. I shook my head as I slowly stepped my way back to return my skates. I could see him zooming around the ice, going faster and faster, but always in control.
After returning my skates and getting my boots back on, I found a spot on the deck big enough for two against the railing. It was only a couple of minutes before Andrew found me, his cheeks red from the cold. He leaned against the railing, his breath frosting the night sky as we waited for the fireworks to start. I rubbed my hands up and down my arms, regretting my choice of jacket. Now that the sun had set and I wasn't moving, I was getting cold.
Andrew's brows pushed together for a moment as he watched me, then with a shake of his head, he moved behind me and wrapped his arms around me. The heat was instantaneous and not just from his arms. His cologne filled my nostrils, his body felt strong and warm behind me. I knew I should break away, to just deal with the cold rather than let myself experience these feelings stirring within me, but I couldn't. I wanted to be close to him. I wanted to feel him touch me.
The lights in the Lake House dimmed and slowly turned off, the darkness enveloping us. I looked up to the heavens, feeling his breath on my neck. The stars twinkled in the clear sky, constellations and planets glimmering in their eternal dance. A splash of light illuminated the sky, followed by another and another. Colors exploded against the stars, streaming fire from the sky. The crowed oohed and ahhed as the night sky was filled with color.
I barely noticed the colors flooding the sky because my attention was on Andrew. His arms held me tightly, his warmth seeping into me and making my body ache for something I knew I could never have. I let myself believe for a moment, one beautiful moment, that this could work. That we could be more than friends. That I could kiss him, touch him, have him. That I could surrender myself to him and not be afraid of the consequences.
The sky was aflame with color for a glorious instant, then only streams of sparkling smoke and twinkling stars remained. The booms still echoed through the night, a rolling thunder following the man-made lightning. I turned my head slowly, feeling Andrew's breath along my cheek. His lips were so close to mine that I could almost feel them. I wanted to taste those lips, red and open just centimeters from mine. He leaned in closer.
His lips were soft against mine. I wanted to merge into him, to never leave this moment. He tasted sweet, like cocoa and sunshine. My heart thudded with happy excitement and I pressed in closer.
The lights in the Lake house turned on, flooding the deck with artificial light. The moment was broken, and Andrew dropped his hands quickly to his sides, releasing me. In the harsh light, I couldn't believe I had kissed him. I pulled my hat down low on my head, feeling my cheeks burn. I couldn't look at him so instead I put my hands on the balcony, hoping he didn't see how badly they shook.
The crowd dispersed on the deck, leaving the two of us standing awkwardly looking out at the lake. I fidgeted with my scarf, trying to figure out what to say. Andrew's phone chimed, saving both of us from having to speak first.
"Mom says they are at the car. They'll meet us there at nine," he read from his phone. I nodded, looking at my watch. If we walked slowly, we would reach the car at nine on the dot. I stuck my hands in my pockets and suggested we head toward the car. Andrew agreed, and we starting walking, the silence uncomfortable between us. The snow squeaked under my boots as we searched for the car, the lights of the Lake House far away.
"Holly, I..." Andrew started, but as I turned to look at him he stopped with a confused look on his face. "That's just gross."
I spun to see what he was looking at, and at first all I saw was the car. With the windows fogged. And a hand print on the back windshield.