“Bareback?”
“Without a condom.”
I’ve had fantasies about what my first time with Jonah would be like. In all my versions of this moment, I never had a conversation that involved the word bareback. This reminder of Jonah’s sexual experience to my lack thereof is off-putting. But I love him and I believe he loves me. There’s no doubt in my mind that he has my best interest at heart. He always does.
“I trust you.”
His weight lifts and he falls to my side. I prop myself up on my elbows and look into his handsome, smiling face.
“All right, no more talking.”
On a growl, he leans over and possesses my mouth. His tongue glides along mine, rekindling my need. I tilt my head and press in deeper. My toes curl and my back arches in an attempt to get closer. He sucks my tongue into his mouth and runs his teeth along it as I pull it back. The simple scrape turns my insides to liquid.
More.
The word echoes in my head, sending the message to every nerve cell in my body. He’s consuming me, and I want nothing more than to crawl inside him. His hand curls around the back of my head and he rolls. My legs open to him, cradling his body. He hovers over me, the hard plains of his chest cushioned against my br**sts. Flexing his hips, he grinds into me with solid steel and I swallow his moan.
His hands dig into my hair, grabbing it firmly at the roots. A slight tug opens my mouth further and he plunges deeper. With firm pressure he continues to rock against me, building my impending release. My stomach flips with the promise of what’s to come.
Breaking free for air, he kisses down my neck, leaving me panting for breath. His warm mouth closes over the firm tip of my breast. Electricity shoots down my torso to my womb. He switches back and forth, sucking on one while rolling the tip of the other between his finger and thumb. I slide my legs against his, restless and impatient.
“So f**king responsive,” he growls, the rumble of his deep voice against my chest vibrating down my body. “God, you taste so sweet.” He licks and pulls at my breast. “I want to taste the rest of you.”
His words are rocket fuel to my libido. I’m writhing and panting. His hands roam down my torso to between my legs. My body bows off the bed. If I wasn’t so wanton, I’d be embarrassed at my lack of control.
He runs his lips down the length of my body, pausing only to nip at my belly button.
“Mmm, Jonah . . .” I want to say something to communicate how good he feels against my skin, but I’m too lost in the sensation.
Hooking his fingers into the fine lace of my panties, he shreds them with a firm tug. I moan, lifting my hips, and he tosses the flimsy lace to the floor. I’m all feeling and emotion, completely void of rational thought.
He lifts his head and gives me his sexy, one-dimpled smile. This one is similar to the one I’ve gotten before, but better. Way better. His lowered lids and dark glare turn this smile into something different all together, and I’m gone. Completely owned with one look.
I tremble as he places himself between my legs. His eyes lock on mine seconds before he dips down. His mouth presses against me in a probing thrust. My head falls back. Every nerve fires and I’m overcome with desire. His hands still my h*ps in a display of full carnal domination. Gripping the sheets, I dig my heels into the mattress and push my h*ps up begging for more. His mouth commands my body, pulling my strings and pushing me on. He slides his hands beneath my bottom to tilt my hips, delving deeper and thrusting harder. Euphoria swirls behind my eyes with every abrasive scratch of his stubble between my legs.
“Jonah, I’m gonna…” My words fade into a glorious moan and I bit my lip.
He pulls back, the cold air hits me hard. I open my eyes to see him braced above me looking intently into my face.
“Why did you stop? I didn’t . . . I was almost . . . there.” My voice whines with disappointment.
“You’re ready.”
He’s not asking, but I nod.
Yes! I’m ready!
He kisses my chin. “You sure about this? Cause, f**k baby, I need to be inside you.” He runs his tongue along my bottom lip. “Deep inside you.”
I push my h*ps up and dig my fingernails into his arms.
“Yeah, my girl’s ready.”
He slides his pants down and kicks them to the floor. I stare openly at his arousal.
This is going to hurt. Bad.
“Don’t worry, baby. I’ll go slow.”
My eyes dart to his face. Did I say that out loud?
He crawls up my body, eyes fixed on mine. His hands push my arms above my head, weaving our fingers together. In this position, his weight against me, his huge body forcing my legs apart, I’m completely at his mercy. Helpless against his invasion. And totally safe. Warm, silken heat nudges its way in, slowly pressing, forcing me open. Instinctively, my body resists and I press my knees into his sides.
“Deep breath.” He brushes his lips against my jaw. “Relax.”
Taking a deep breath, I concentrate on relaxing my muscles. He pushes in further.
“I love you.” He speaks the words against my neck, feathering kisses against my skin.
He releases my hands, and I brace them against his ribs. His pulse races against my palms. His hazel eyes darken and worry crosses his face.
“What’s wrong?”
“This is it.”
“It?”
A deep pink blush colors his cheeks. My eyes widen.
Oh, IT.
He looks conflicted. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
I wrap my legs around his h*ps and use my heels to press him to me. “I’m ready, Jonah. I want this. I want you to be the one to do it. I love you.” The confidence in my voice mirrors the feelings in my heart.
He smiles so sweetly that I’m forced to catch my breath.
“Okay, baby. Take a deep breath and blow it out slowly.”
My eyes lock on his in determination. Taking a deep breath through my nose, I hold it and nod. I blow the breath out slowly, and when I’m almost out of air, he buries himself completely. A hiss shoots from his lips as he pushes past the final barrier of my virginity. My eyes slam shut at the searing pain.
“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I love you.” Tender brushes of his lips trail from my jaw to my shoulder.
After a minute, I release his hips, my legs no longer able to hold him with their quivering muscles. The burn recedes, leaving behind a delicious fullness.
Past the pain, I focus on Jonah’s face: both dimples, full teeth, and shining eyes. Pure male pride.
He cups my face, running his thumbs along my cheeks. “Feel okay?”
“Perfect.” I rake my hands into his hair and pull him in for a deep, wet kiss.
“My girl.”
His movements start slow, dissolving my discomfort and awakening my hunger. I scrape my nails along his scalp, grasping in desperation. Closer, deeper, harder. More. I don’t know what’s come over me. All I know is that I need Jonah more than oxygen.
“Jonah, I—”
A gasp robs me of my words as he rocks into my body. Ripples of pleasure shoot up my torso and coil in my chest. I grip his backside with two hands, feeling the flex and release of his muscles as he moves between my legs.
Possession pushes below the surface of my skin. An animalistic satisfaction at being marked, permanently changed by the man I love.
“More.” The simple spoken word has him rolling his h*ps deeper, and thrusting harder.
Yes!
I groan as the tension builds, churning low and ready to burst.
“You’re perfect. So hot, and fuck, so tight,” he growls into my mouth.
I’m hot and writhing, his words and body mastering mine. Every angle winds me tighter, pushing me higher. I buck against him, searching for release.
A shift of his h*ps in the right spot and sparks fly behind my eyes. I suck in a lungful of air, my release shooting through my body. My nails dig into his biceps and I call out his name against his lips. He continues to rock into me. And just like an expert guitar player hitting the perfect chord, another explosion of pleasure pushes through me. My heels dig into the bed, riding out my cli**x. Blissful satisfaction washes over me in waves. I labor for breath, floating down and sinking into the bed.
Is it always like this?
My body hums. I blink away the post-orgasm fog. My limbs fall to the side, sated and heavy.
It’s only then that I notice Jonah still moving above me. His colorful arms flex and pulse. His eyes lock on mine, and he bites his bottom lip. I can’t resist the urge to taste it myself and push up to pull at the soft flesh with my teeth. He releases it and I suck it deep into my mouth.
He quickens his pace then growls his release. Heat fills my body where the sting has died to a dull ache. I lick and suck at his lips and tongue until his movement slows. He collapses onto my body, and I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck. We breathe heavy, chest to chest, hearts pounding against each other, until we calm.
“I’m not ready to give you up,” he says against my skin while moving gently inside me.
“I’m not ready to be given up.”
We kiss, this time absent of the heat from earlier. Only gentle touches and whispers of affection.
“Thank you, Jonah. That was better than I imagined.”
His lips brush mine once more before he rolls off of me. I wince as he pulls free from our connection. He falls to my side and wraps me in his arms.
My head on his chest, he takes a deep breath. “Baby, that was incredible.”
We lie in silence, Alicia Keys singing “How it Feels to Fly” and soothing the aftershocks of our lovemaking. The lyrics send goose bumps racing across my skin. Lying here in Jonah’s arms, having given him the only thing of worth that I have to give, I’ve never felt freer. Tears sting my eyes, and I swipe at one that rolls down my cheek.
“Ah, shit. I’m sorry. Was it too rough? Are you okay?” Jonah’s hands are at my face, wiping at the moisture beneath my eyes.
Propping myself up, I look at him and smile. “Do I look okay?”
“No. I mean, of course, you look amazing. But you’re crying.”
He continues to dry my wayward tears. I stop his hands with mine. “I’m fine. It’s been an emotional day.” My fingers trace the tattoo on his chest. “Was it, um, okay? You know, for you?”
He throws his head back in a quick burst of laughter. “Shit, let’s put aside the fact that I’m in love with you. Let’s also not count the fact that being skin on skin, no barrier between me and your hot, wet, gripping—”
I smack him playfully in the arm, my lips upturned and cheeks cramping from the glowing review he’s giving me.
“Okay, all that aside, the way your body responds to mine, the slightest touch or shift in my position . . . Moans of pleasure coming from those gorgeous lips . . . Baby, that was the hottest . . .” His eyes dart to the side as if he’s having a hard time putting words to his feelings. “What we did tonight was more beautiful than anything I’ve ever experienced.”
“I feel the same. I’m glad I waited for you, Jonah. You deserve to be my first—”
“And your last.”