She paused and turned to look at him, waiting for him to join her. She couldn't leave him there alone when everyone else was moving into the other room - even if it appeared to be exactly what he wanted her to do. When he finally took the first step toward her, it was with the slow gait of a man making his way toward the gallows.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
IT WAS THE LAST PLACE he wanted to be.
The f**king last thing he wanted to do was stand around like the interloper he was and watch as Dante and Tess presented their son to Gideon, his appointed godfather. Not that Chase begrudged the choice. It was the right thing to do for their child, the best thing. Should anything happen to Xander's parents before he reached adulthood, the Breed youth would want for nothing. Gideon and Savannah would provide him with all the love and care he could possibly need.
Dante had been insane to suppose that Chase could ever fill that role. Fortunately for him and Tess, Chase had shown them what a poor choice he was before their child took his first breath. And now he would stand by and try to feel unaffected - to feel nothing but relief - as the honor was bestowed instead on Gideon.
All the worse that Tavia would be there to witness it too.
She didn't know the tradition or politics of the ritual, or the amount of f**k-ups and disappointments it took for Chase to have lost the privilege of being the infant's appointed guardian. But as they all entered the prepared sanctuary to take their seats in the wooden pews, he knew she could feel his shame, and that was enough.
Or so he thought, until Tavia's gaze lit on Elise across the candlelit room.
She held her surprise, but he felt her go a bit still beside him as she looked at the woman who had once been part of his family. Part of his life's deepest shame.
Elise stood at the front of the little sanctuary room with Gideon and Savannah and Dante, Tess and the baby. She'd been assisting with the silks to be used in the ceremony, but when her pale lavender gaze lit on Chase and Tavia, she whispered something to the waiting couples and started walking over. Tegan intercepted her halfway, wrapping a protective arm around her as he escorted her toward them. His expression was guarded and watchful, a male prepared to spill another's lifeblood right in the middle of the holy space if it meant keeping his mate safe from harm.
And little wonder he felt that way where Chase was concerned. Chase could still feel Elise's open hand cracking across his face from the last time he saw her. A strike he'd more than deserved for what he'd said to her in the days leading up to his separation from the Order. But this was something different.
He watched the mated couple come toward him - Elise beatific and radiant, Tegan glowering and possessive - and he suddenly knew.
She was newly pregnant.
It should have hit him harder than it did. Maybe it would have, had Tavia not been standing beside him, her calm, nonjudging gaze watching him in quiet understanding as the couple approached. She was steady and serene, tranquil waters when he'd grown so accustomed to riding out his storms alone.
"Sterling," Elise whispered as she paused in front of him. She started to reach out to him, then seemed to think better of it, clasping her hands in front of her. "I'm so relieved that you're all right. The way you left us in Boston the other morning ... we've all been fearing the worst." "I'm sorry for the worry," he murmured. "That wasn't my intent."
"No," she said. "You intended to save us that day. And you did. What you did for all of us in that moment was - "
"Honorable," Tegan finished for her. "Fucking suicidal too, but that's beside the point." Chase gave a vague lift of his shoulder, dismissing their gratitude. One noble gesture couldn't earn back everything he'd thrown away, no matter how badly he suddenly wanted to think it could. It would take time to prove himself fully to his brethren again. Time he wasn't sure he had when hunger was gnawing at him from far within the pit of his soul.
His hands were twitchy at his sides, his veins beginning to jangle, giving him the sudden, rising urge to hightail it out of the place and run deep and long into the night. As the dark impulse built inside him, he felt Tavia's fingers brush lightly against his. She knew what he was feeling, and her offered hand was just the mooring he needed. Their fingers twined, he cleared his throat and made the introductions.
"Tavia Fairchild, this is Tegan's mate, Elise."
"I'm also Sterling's former sister-in-law," she said, smiling with genuine kindness. "Yes, I know," Tavia replied. "It's good to meet you."
"Likewise." Elise's gaze drifted down to their joined hands and a tender light came into her eyes. "Maybe after the ceremony, I can show you around the house and grounds?"
Tavia smiled. "Sure, I'd like that."
"I should go back and take a seat now. We were just about to begin."
As she and Tegan started to turn away, Chase reached out to take a light hold of Elise's arm. "Wait."
Tegan's answering growl was low and dark, well within his rights. His eyes flashed with amber sparks. Chase let go and blew out a hasty apology. "I just wanted to say congratulations. To both of you. About the baby. I'm happy for you both."
Elise beamed up at Tegan, then turned her joy on Chase. "Thank you. That means a lot to me, Sterling. It means a lot to both of us."
Tegan grunted and took Chase's offered hand in a firm shake. The blond warrior's hold hesitated, no doubt reading the emotional truth of Chase's words with the power of his touch. Chase didn't recoil under the extrasensory probe; he truly had nothing to hide. Tegan nodded, then drew his hand away and clapped Chase's shoulder. "Good to have you back, Harvard." The pair walked off to take their seats near the front of the small sanctuary.