In spite of all that, he found himself standing outside his former quarters, his clenched fist poised to rap on the closed door. He dropped his knuckles against the panel in a light knock. There was no answer.
For a moment, he debated whether he should just turn around and let the whole thing lie. Chalk up the whole episode with Jenna as a lapse in judgment that he was never going to repeat. But before he could decide which would be the bigger offense--walking in uninvited or walking away again--he had opened the door.
The place was dark, not a single light on. He smelled shampoo and dissipating steam emanating from the bathroom as he strode silently through the apartment. He made no sound as he walked into the bedroom, where Jenna lay in his bed sleeping, curled away from him on her side. He drifted over to her, watching for a moment, listening to the slow, quiet rush of her breathing.
The urge to slip in beside her was a strong one, but he held himself in check. Barely.
Her dark hair spread over the pillow in damp, glossy strands. He reached out, let his fingers stray into its softness, careful that his touch didn't disturb her. His apology would have to wait. Maybe she wouldn't even want to hear it.
Yeah, maybe it would be best for both of them if he just backed off from anything personal and kept their interactions on a purely professional level for however long she might remain at the compound. God knew, that sounded like the most reasonable plan. The safest plan for both of them, but especially for her. Getting too close to someone he was assigned to protect meant getting sloppy at what he was trained to do.
He'd been there before, and a vibrant young woman paid the price with her life. He wasn't about to put Jenna in that kind of jeopardy. Sure, she was tough and capable, not the naive innocent who had put her trust in Brock and died for the mistake. But so long as he was charged with Jenna's well-being--entrusted with her protection--he was going to have to keep her at arm's length. That was one promise he was determined to keep.
Not that she'd likely argue, after the way he'd bungled things between them in this room.
He let the damp, dark tendril fall back into place on the pillow.
Without a word, without a sound, he backed away from the bed. He left the apartment as stealthily as he'd entered ... unaware that in the stillness of the bedroom, Jenna's eyes had opened, her breathing stopped as she listened to him make his almost perfect escape for a second time that night.
Chapter Fifteen
Earth to Jenna. Everything okay with you?"
"Huh? Oh. Yeah, I'm fine." Jenna glanced up at Alex, snapping herself out of the daze that had been hijacking her focus all night. Ever since Brock's unexpected B&E in her room a few hours ago. To say nothing of the incredible sex that had preceded it. "Just lost in my thoughts, I guess."
"That's exactly why I asked," Alex said. "You've been somewhere else since you sat down with me here tonight."
"I'm sorry. It's nothing to worry about. Everything is fine."
Jenna picked up her fork and chased a bite of salmon around her plate.
She wasn't hungry, but when Alex had fetched her for a quiet dinner together in her quarters, Jenna couldn't deny that she welcomed her best friend's company. She wanted to pretend, if only for a little while, that things were the same as they'd been in Alaska just a few weeks ago--before she'd known about her brother's corruption and death, before she'd learned about vampires and alien biotechnology and accelerated DNA mutations.
Before she'd compounded all of her problems by getting na**d with Brock.
"Hello?" Across the table from her, Alex watched her over the rim of her beer glass. "FYI, in case you're wondering, you're doing it again, Jen.
What's going on with you?"
"I suppose you mean other than the obvious," Jenna replied, pushing aside her plate and leaning back in her chair.
She stared at her friend, the most sympathetic, supportive person she knew--the one person, aside from Brock, who'd given her the strength she needed to get through the worst of her life's ordeals. Jenna realized she owed Alex more than the usual don't-worry-about-me facade. Never mind the fact that Alex had the ability to see through any bullshit with her built-in lie detector, courtesy of her Breedmate genetics.
Jenna took a slow breath and let it out on a sigh. "Something happened earlier. Between Brock and me."
"Something ... happened?" Alex looked at her in silence for a moment before her brow knit into a frown. "Are you saying ..."
"Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying." Jenna got up from the table and began clearing her place setting. "I was in the war room alone, after everyone had gone to bed. Brock came in, and we started talking, then we started kissing. Things got really intense, really quickly. I don't think either one of us meant for it to happen."
Alex followed her into the kitchen. "You and Brock ... slept together?"
she asked. "You had sex in the war room?"
"God, no. We just kissed in there. On the conference table. The sex came later, in his quarters. Or, rather, my quarters." Jenna felt a blush creep into her cheeks. She wasn't used to discussing her intimate life--mainly because she hadn't had one in a very long time. And certainly never anything as out of control as what she and Brock had shared. "Oh, for crissake, don't make me spell out every detail. Say something, Alex."
She stared, somewhat slack-jawed. "I'm, um ..."
"Shocked? Disappointed? You can tell me," Jenna said, trying to guess what her friend must think of her, having known how she'd avoided anything resembling a relationship or intimacy in the years since the accident, only to end up in bed with one of the Order's warriors after just a couple of days in his company. "You must think I'm pathetic. God knows I do."