“What in the world is wrong with you, Sage? I’m speaking from my heart and you’re laughing at me?”
“I’m sorry, Grace. I really am. I’m trying to get it under control, but this is so dang funny. First, that you think you can actually resist the love of your life; second, that you’re so ridiculously upset about having real feelings for the man; and third, that you’re pissed off over crying. I’ve known you for a lot of years, and you are my absolute best friend, but to see tears on your cheeks, puffy eyes, and a swollen upper lip is the joy of my life. You are too beautiful for words and, even crying, you look like a heroine waiting for her knight, but you can have real emotion without the world stopping.”
Sage’s laughter was reduced to a few chuckles again as she was giving her little speech. The rest of Grace’s tears dried up as she glared at her friend.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying my pain,” she snapped.
“Oh, it’s not your pain that I’m enjoying; it’s the fact that the seemingly unflappable Grace Sinclair can actually get her feathers ruffled at least once in her life. I cried so much when I didn’t know which way was up and which was down with Spence. And you’re always so in control . . .” The last of Sage’s giggles died away.
“I’m in control?” Grace gasped. “You have a certain order to everything, even in decorating a Christmas tree. You’re OCD personified. I, on the other hand, live life by the seat of my pants.”
“That’s so not true,” Sage said. “No, you may not feel that you have to be as organized as I do, but you’re always in control of your emotions, or you try to look as if you are. I love seeing you going a little crazy. It’s really good for my ego.”
“Ugh. I shouldn’t have told you any of this. I already feel like a fool for sitting here, bawling my eyes out.”
“It’s perfectly human to cry when you’re sad or frustrated, Gracie. It doesn’t make you a weaker person, and it doesn’t make others think less of you—well, unless you do it morning, noon, and night, seven days a week. But we cry for a reason—so we’re not holding all of that emotion inside us. It’s perfectly healthy and normal.”
“I just want him to leave me be. I was doing perfectly fine without him—I was for years.”
“Maybe if you were honest with yourself, and honest with Cam, you would actually work some of this out,” Sage told her. “You can sit there all day long and say you were fine, but I see the way you still look at that man, and you know as well as I do that you’re in love with him. Always have been and always will be. Quit fighting yourself, and him, too.”
Grace was surprised by the sudden firmness in Sage’s voice. Her friend wasn’t normally so forceful, at least not when it came to matters of the heart. But then again, Grace didn’t often discuss personal matters with anyone, even her BFF. It was something very difficult for her to do.
“Why can’t you just be a normal best friend who tells me exactly what I want to hear?” Grace grumbled.
“Because then I wouldn’t be your best friend. I swear I’ve told you that before. Have you ever told me what I want to hear?” Sage asked with a meaningful look. “Or do you tell me what I need to hear?”
“That’s different,” Grace said.
“How so?”
“Because this is about me and that’s about you.”
“Grace, you’re a pain in the ass. I hope you realize that,” Sage said before reaching out and giving her a big hug. “Look, you’ve been keeping secrets from me since I got back to town and found you here. I hope you aren’t doing the same with Cam. Unlike me, he can actually help you with law-type stuff. I can help you with the emotional stuff.”
“Or you can just laugh at me,” Grace murmured.
“I can laugh at you and still help you. And I don’t charge a thousand bucks an hour.” Sage started the car again and pulled out on the road as they made their way to Billings.
“What if this is all just about sex for him?”
“Aren’t you the one who used to tell me to get it wherever I could?” Sage asked.
“Yes. But you know that was mostly for show. I don’t take sex as lightly as I pretended to when I was teasing you.”
“Don’t you think I know that? Again, I’m your best friend, Grace. I know you better than any other person on this planet. And that’s a stupid question, because you know Cam and you know it’s not just about sex.”
“I know. But I let Cam hurt me once and I won’t do it again. I lost myself for a while. I never want to be lost again.”
“Maybe you’re his soul mate and he knows you’re scared. Cam’s not the type of guy to stand around with his thumbs in his pockets. If he wants something, he’ll go after it. I don’t think he wants to run anymore. No way.”
“Or maybe it’s because I’m the woman who got away and he’s just a man who doesn’t like being told no,” Grace growled.
“That could be true as well. The offer is still there for me to kick his ass if you want me to.” Sage said this so seriously that Grace couldn’t help but chuckle.
“I might take you up on that, sweetie.”
Sage was quiet for a few moments and Grace pulled herself together.
“There’s so many bad decisions I’ve made in my life, but the worst decisions have been choosing the men I’ve been with,” Grace finally said.