Shit. I’m already getting in deep.
I couldn’t make the call. At least not tonight. I needed to woman up and face my problems.
I reached into my purse, bypassing my phone, and grabbed something else entirely: my gun.
I cleared every room of my apartment like I’d seen on those TV cop shows before double-checking the deadbolts and the windows. Finally, I washed my face and curled up in the corner of my bed and tried to sleep.
The blue numbers on the face of my alarm clock mocked me as every hour passed.
“Thanks for the ride, babe,” I said as I slid into Vanessa’s Mercedes and shut the door.
My best friend’s smile was wide and genuine. It chased away some of the bad feelings still stalking me. After my sleepless night on Sunday, I’d dragged ass all day Monday. Oh, and I’d been too paranoid to leave my house. So much for facing my problems. But … when I’d gotten a text from Lord this morning saying he couldn’t give me a ride, and he added that I “damn well better not walk,” I didn’t quibble. I called Vanessa. Sometimes I wondered how I got so lucky that she put up with my special brand of crazy.
Vanessa shifted the car into drive before saying, “You know I’m here for you any time. I miss our drives to and from work.”
Her smile dimmed a few watts, and I knew it was because she was thinking about the reason we no longer worked together. Words fell from my mouth without thought as I grasped for a change of subject.
“So do you think Con has a bigger dick than Lord? Or do you think Lord’s dick is bigger, because he’s the older brother?”
I didn’t say it was a good subject change. It was just a change.
Vanessa slammed on the brakes. We were at an intersection, so this was as the law demanded … but the force with which she hit them might have been a little more intense than necessary.
She snapped her head sideways to look at me. “Seriously? Are you seriously asking me if I’ve seen my boyfriend’s brother’s penis? And—just to be sure I’m clear—you want to know if maybe when I saw it, I got out a ruler and measured to compare?”
We were both silent for a moment—staring hard at each other—before we erupted into laughter.
That was all it took for the shadow to be eradicated and Vanessa’s light to shine brightly again.
“You’re insane. You know that, right? And even if I did know—which I don’t—I would never admit it,” she said.
“So basically I can’t trust that you’re telling me the truth?”
Vanessa flipped her blinker on and changed lanes.
“More importantly, do you have any idea what you’re doing? With Lord, I mean?
I directed my eyes forward and away from Vanessa’s sideways gaze. “Nope. Not a damn clue.”
She slowed at another stop and stared at me.
“He’s not your normal party guy looking for a good time, Elle. I don’t know him as well as I’d like to, but that’s because he doesn’t really let anyone get close. He won’t even let Con tell people they’re related. And he’s got this intensity that outdoes even Con’s. Then there’s you—you might as well tattoo don’t even freaking think about it on your forehead with how much you keep guys at a distance. I’m just not sure how I see this working out.”
I crossed my legs, my hands fidgeting in my lap. “I know. I’m kind of freaking out.”
“But you’re not shutting him down?”
I shrugged and bit my lip. “He said we’re going on a date tonight … I don’t think I’m going to say no.”
“That’s not a bad start. If you were going to break your rules for anyone, he’s a great choice. And I know he’s really into you.”
My eyes cut to her. “What have you heard?”
“He laid it out for Con that he was going for it with you, and it wasn’t going to be a one night thing.”
No he did not.
“Seriously?”
“Yep. Wanted to make sure it wasn’t going to be an issue for us if you guys were … whatever it is you’re doing.”
“I can’t believe he did that.” Although, I guess I shouldn’t have been shocked—he’d said he didn’t want to stir up shit with Con by one-nighting me.
Van glanced at me for a beat before her eyes went back to the road. “He and Con are really close, probably closer than they would have been if they hadn’t been separated. It doesn’t surprise me at all that they’d discuss it.”
But still, the fact that he’d actually talked to Con about it and made sure it wasn’t a problem? That meant he really was serious. I was venturing into new territory here, and I was fumbling my way through it.
Vanessa slowed as we neared Chains and cursed when she realized she was going to have to parallel park halfway up the street.
“You can just let me out here. You don’t need to park.”
“Shush. We’re not done with this conversation. Besides, I’m fully capable of parallel parking.”
I bit my lip and said nothing as Vanessa attempted the parking job three times. On the fourth try, she finally slid into the spot. She didn’t waste a second before putting the car in park and turning to me. “So you’re not sleeping with him yet? It’s been over a day since he and Con had the talk, and he doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to waste time. I call bullshit.”
Oh hell. Bulldog Vanessa is coming out to play, and I’m the target.
“I’m going to be late for work. I should go.” I reached for the door handle, but Vanessa slapped her hand over the lock button. I tugged on the latch and hit my own lock button. Nothing.