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Searching for Beautiful (Searching For #3) Page 111
Author: Jennifer Probst

And she wanted Wolfe.

Gen found him outside on the balcony. Sipping his coffee, looking out over the city streets, deep in thought. She paused and studied him.

The millionaire model turned hotel magnate wore his usual getup of shorts and T-shirt. His bare feet were propped up on the coffee table. Chocolate-brown curls fell in disarray around his head, and the familiar scent of lemon, soap, and coffee clung to him. She imagined not waking up with him in the morning, or kissing him good night. She craved to be the one to kill the spiders for him, cook for him, yell at him, and make love to him every spare moment.

Last night, he’d given her the truth.

Now he needed to give her his heart.

“Wolfe.”

He jerked, sloshing coffee over the rim. Setting his feet back on the ground, he mopped up the spill and set the cup on the table beside him. “Sorry. Didn’t hear you.”

They gazed at each other. Remembering. Her gaze flicked to his wrists, covered by the leather bands once more. He tugged at them, then stilled.

“How do you feel?” she asked softly.

“Good.”

“The police called. They found who did it.” His brows snapped in a frown. She quickly went over the scenario, and he seemed to accept the explanation. “I told them I’d be flying back tomorrow.”

“We can do that. I’ll help you repaint.”

“I’ve decided to go back to the hospital.”

He nodded, as if trying to keep up. “Good. You deserve to be there. It may be a bit rough at first, but you can handle it. I always knew that.”

“Wolfe?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

He flinched. Turned pale. Her heart dropped, but she’d committed to her last stand and damned if she wasn’t going all out. How many times had they mentioned love to each other? In friendship, and laughter, and fun? The words had spilled out so easily before, yet today they held a whole new meaning and were stuck deep inside where the memories had been trapped. Refusing to come out.

“Well, we’re friends.”

She stiffened her spine at the raw hurt. “Not like that. I’ll always love you as a friend. But it’s more now. I love you as a man. My lover. As my partner.”

He jumped back, pressing his back against the balcony. “Why are you doing this now? Let’s fly back, get our heads in the game, and see what happens.” A nervous laugh escaped. “A lot of shit went down last night and I told you stuff no one knows.”

“Do you love me?” His eyes widened. Gen swore he was already calculating the odds of jumping over the balcony rather than face her questions. She closed the distance, forcing him to deal with her. “Because last night meant something more to me. You shared a gift by telling me the truth. But it’s more than that. I look into your eyes and see a man I want with my whole heart. I want you in my life as more than my friend. Do you want that, too?”

He swallowed. Stared. Pure fear shone from those bright blue eyes.

And he didn’t answer.

Gen stopped inches before him. “I love you,” she said again. “Right now. Right here, I need to know how you feel about me. The truth.”

The sun beat down bright and hot. The roar of mopeds and heels clicking on the sidewalk rose in the air. He didn’t move, didn’t blink, standing as still as a statue. Or a victim watching his attacker move in.

Her fingers shook. Her gut clenched in terror. She was losing him, and she didn’t know what to do to push him over the edge, make him fight for her, admit his true feelings.

“Please say something,” she whispered. “Anything. I can’t do this anymore. I’m fighting for both of us, but if you don’t give me a sign, something to hope for, I’ll—” She struggled to continue, battling the raw emotions that rocked her to the core. Gen grabbed his T-shirt, tugging him forward. The heat between them caught and surged.

“I don’t care about your past. I care about your future—with me—but you have to say it. Dammit, Wolfe, say something!”

The silence was deafening.

Her grip loosened. He stared at her, refusing to speak. Gen took a step back, and another, until her back pressed against the door and there was a space between them as large and deep as the Grand Canyon.

It was over.

IT WAS OVER.

He knew it. Sensed what was going to happen when she stepped on the balcony with him. She was so beautiful. Even as he stood dumbstruck, she raised that stubborn chin and challenged him. I love you. Words that struck a chord inside and healed. Word that struck a chord inside and destroyed.

Julietta and Sawyer and Gabby and Mama Conte were different. It wasn’t the kind of love that consumed you raw, devoured you whole, and made everything messy and terrifying and bloody. This type of love, this possession to be and give the world to one person, wasn’t possible. He’d end up hurting her, because he was damaged. He’d done terrible things. The years of violence on the street. Beating up strangers and ripping away their innocence. Stealing. Being raped by monsters. He wasn’t clean, or good enough for someone like her. He didn’t trust himself to raise a family, be a healthy spouse and father. What if one day the demons rose again and gobbled him up? She deserved more, and if by not saying the words she needed to hear he could protect her, so be it.

Her own father knew it. Called out the truth right to his face.

Jim knew about the demons and said they’d always come back. He wouldn’t let the bastards drag both of them into the pits of hell.

She moved away. Coldness seeped into his chest, familiar numbness wrapping around his organs and dragging him into nothingness.

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Jennifer Probst's Novels
» Everywhere and Every Way (Billionaire Builders #1)
» Searching for Always (Searching For #4)
» Searching for Beautiful (Searching For #3)
» The Book of Spells (Marriage to a Billionaire #4.5)
» The Marriage Bargain (Marriage to a Billionaire #1)
» The Marriage Trap (Marriage to a Billionaire #2)
» The Marriage Mistake (Marriage to a Billionaire #3)
» The Marriage Merger (Marriage to a Billionaire #4)
» Catch Me (Steele Brothers Trilogy #1)
» Play Me (Steele Brothers Trilogy #2)
» Dare Me (Steele Brothers Trilogy #3)
» Searching for Someday (Searching For #1)
» The Holiday Hoax
» All the Way