“I can’t. I just can’t,” I replied.
Lucas stared at the paper for a few moments before changing the subject to one I didn’t want to discuss with him. “What are you going to do about Leahy?”
I didn’t answer.
“Come on, Vanessa. I think we’ve gotten to know each other well enough that you can talk to me about it.”
“I’d rather not.”
A muscle twitched in his jaw, but he smoothed his irritation away. “You realize he might not want you after this.”
The words—thoughtless words—hit me like spikes to the heart. I sat straighter. “Thank you, Mr. Titan, for that little slice of insight. I can’t believe I hadn’t considered the possibility myself.” I bit out the words, over-emphasizing them in my sarcasm.
He tilted his head to one side. “I’m not trying to be a dick—”
“Then you’re failing.”
“I just…” he trailed off, took a breath and released it. “I just want you to know you’ve got options. And one of those options is to let Leahy walk away and still not be alone.”
I stared at him intently. “What exactly are you saying, Titan?”
“That regardless of the fact that you think I’m a dick, I’m a dick who likes you a hell of a lot. I respect you. I think we’d be good together. You want to make a difference? You want to run a foundation? I’ll fucking start one. I’ve got an extra billion to throw at it right now. Just say the word, and it’s yours.”
Everything I’ve ever wanted. On a silver platter.
“For the low, low bargain price of marrying a man I don’t love?”
He huffed out a humorless chuckle. “Did I mention one of the things I like most about you is your honesty? This whole time, the only thing you’ve ever tried to hide was what was going on between you and Leahy. I’ve never had to guess where I stood with you. That’s not something I get from most people.”
“Yeah, well, I guess I’ve never been worried about impressing you.”
“Which is why I think we could make this work.”
I opened my mouth to decline, but Lucas held up a hand. “Don’t. Don’t answer yet. Just think about it, Vanessa. This doesn’t have an expiration date on it. Like I said before, if you go to him and find you don’t get the reception you’re hoping for, my offer will still be waiting.”
He stood and turned to leave. Pausing at the threshold, he looked back at me. “I know you’ll go. So please, just be careful. A lot of people care about what happens to you.”
I didn’t like what he was insinuating. “He’s not going to hurt me.” Of that I was absolutely certain.
“Maybe not physically. But don’t be surprised when he lashes out.”
I gave a curt nod, and Titan was gone.
I stared down at my desk and the deed that lay upon it.
Could I do this?
I pressed rep after rep, the burn in my chest and biceps fueling my intensity. I was supposed to be at work, at Voodoo, but I couldn’t force myself to go in. I was liable to maim someone in my current state.
My muscles shook as I pushed the bar up and in to the holder above my head. I was lucky that I wasn’t going to be pumping iron in prison.
Hennessy had been by. He’d filled me in on everything he knew. Not a word about me being present. When he’d asked for the gun, I’d told him that it was still at Chains, in the safe. Given that Lord had taken it with him when he’d left the lake house, I assumed it was actually there.
Speaking of Chains, I’d signed it over to Lord this morning. I didn’t need it anymore. Didn’t want anything to do with it. Tassel was going up for sale tomorrow. Voodoo was the only one I was keeping. Because it had been my first, and the only one I’d actually enjoyed. I might take a break from there too, though. I’d had Delilah cancel all of my appointments for the next couple weeks. I’d have to see about getting someone to take my spot. Delilah’s brother was a badass artist at another place in town. I’d seen his work all over her. I wondered if I could steal him away.
I sat up on the bench and flexed my hands. I busied my brain thinking about all of this little shit so I didn’t have to think about the important things.
Because Jesus fucking Christ—what was I supposed to think? About Archer? About Vanessa? About the fact that because of what Archer had done to my parents, her dream—fuck, her life—was probably unrecognizable today.
There was no way the foundation would stay intact. Hennessy had been pretty sure about that. Apparently there’d been some fancy meeting of the board, and Lucas Titan hadn’t wasted any time filling in Hennessy.
I thought about what Titan had said to me outside the gym after Lord had taken Vanessa inside.
“Whatever you do, remember this isn’t her fault. She had nothing to do with it. If you don’t see that, then you don’t deserve her. And if you do something stupid, you’re going to lose her. And what’s more, you’re going to lose her to me. Because I can give her what she wants. I can make her dreams come true. I can give her a fucking foundation to run. And I will. If you walk away, you better believe I’ll make it happen.”
The prick didn’t have to state the obvious. Of course it wasn’t her fucking fault.
But that hadn’t stopped me from doing something stupid.
I’d never forget the sound of her scream when I’d pulled that trigger.
Fuck.
My need to scare the literal piss out of an old man had changed the way she’d see me for the rest of her life.