Marjorie shook her head. “It’s not the money. It’s that his business is set up to prey on girls with low self-esteem and to serve them up to men for money. I can’t respect someone that does that. It doesn’t seem right to me. Maybe I’m being overly moral or prudish, but it’s how I feel.”
“Plato said, ‘People are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person, or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die.’”
“That’s right,” Marjorie said. “I’m avoiding a growth-stunter.” At least, she was pretty sure she was. In the daylight hours, it was easy to hate Rob and all the ways he’d lied to her. At night, in her lonely bed, it was . . . not so easy, and she sometimes had regrets.
Regrets that Rob was who he was.
That she was who she was.
Mostly, though, she regretted not tackling him and dragging him to bed sooner. Which was probably the wrong thing to regret, but there it was. Out of all the things to miss, she missed his smiles and his gentle caresses the most. And that made her an awful person, didn’t it? Because she should have been thinking about how he lied to her, and how he profited off of women with low self esteem, and mostly, she just missed him.
“Just as long as you don’t avoid the people that nourish you,” Brontë said with a smile, bringing Marjorie back to the present. “And you know I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to.”
“I know.” Marjorie stuffed the pillow inside the pillowcase. “But I think for a while, I’ll just throw myself into work.”
“Now that’s music to my ears,” said Brontë. “I’ll be sure and give you plenty of it, then.”
***
Marjorie settled in to life in New York City slowly. Some things about the city were amazing, like the vast variety of restaurants and the subway tunnels that allowed you to get anywhere and everywhere without a car. She loved the shops and the museums and Central Park most of all. Some other things in New York City took a lot of getting used to—like buying groceries from a corner store instead of a supermarket, and the sea of taxis, and the endless, endless swarm of people. She’d never seen so many in one place in her life. She walked next to them on the streets, shared cabs with them, and heard them through the thin walls of her apartment. No one in New York City was ever alone, it seemed.
And yet with all the people in the city, Marjorie was intensely lonely. Maybe she was dumb and being a moony virgin, but she missed Rob. The time she’d spent with him made her feel more alive than she’d ever felt before. It was like someone had finally seen her—the real her, under all the layers—and was fine with all her parts.
Maybe that was why, after so briefly being part of a duo, it was so hard to go back to her normal solitary life. Why she wasn’t completely satisfied with spending her Friday nights at bingo with Agnes and her friends. Why going to a yarn store and picking out a new pattern was no longer all that exciting when she didn’t have anyone to show her creations to. Why lying in that small, twin bed that folded out from the closet felt like a death sentence.
She missed kissing. She missed hand-holding. She missed Rob’s laugh when she told a corny joke.
She missed Rob.
He was her first real love, and she’d fallen fast and fallen hard. It was going to take time to get over him, but the misery would eventually end.
But in the city full of thousands and thousands of faces, she could have sworn she saw Rob everywhere she went. It bothered her. She’d hear his laugh, and turn around and see no one there. She’d see a shirt that he’d worn and follow the owner, only to find it on the back of a completely different man. Out of the corner of her eye, she could have sworn she’d seen a dark-haired man that looked just like him get into a cab.
She’d confessed her “Rob-haunting” to Brontë, who’d given her a sad look and suggested she go on a date. She’d offered to set up Marjorie, but Marjorie went to a speed-dating round instead.
Every man there had been intimidated by her height. She’d walked away humiliated and full of despair. Not that she’d wanted any of the men. She’d compared them all, mentally, to Rob, and found them lacking. They lacked his smile, his protective instinct, his charm, his everything.
Marjorie supposed she’d just have to deal with being haunted by his memory for a bit longer. There were worse things than thinking you caught a glimpse of the man you’d loved for one brief shining moment in your life.
***
“More tea, Marj?” Agnes held up her floral teapot. “I know how you love your Earl Grey.”
Marjorie held out her dainty china teacup. “That would be wonderful, thank you.” She glanced around Agnes’s tiny flat. Pictures and knick-knacks covered every inch of surface, and the small apartment seemed utterly crowded with memories. “Your home is lovely. Mind if I look at your photos?”
“Not at all,” Agnes said, beaming. She poured Marjorie a new cup of tea and then picked up her phone. “I’m just going to send Dewey a selfie while you do that.”
Marjorie grinned and took a sip of her drink. “So you and Dewey are still a thing?” She’d introduced the two of them on the island, mostly because she wanted to spend more time with Rob. To her pleasure, they’d hit it off.
“Still a thing,” Agnes agreed. “He’s coming to New York for some lady time in two weeks. Doctor’s appointments are holding him back, but we manage with Facebook.” She looked at Marjorie proudly. “I’m grooming him for husband number seven.”