“Can do, baby doll. You sound upset. You okay?”
Kylie smiled, fighting back tears. “Just having a rough week.”
“Save all that for next week, honey! Mercury’s not in retrograde until then.”
“Got it. Just send the money, okay?”
They made payment arrangements and Kylie thanked Star profusely. Star was a bit of an eccentric, but a loyal and dependable one, and Kylie adored her for it. She called the nursing home next, and let them know that her next payment would be somewhat delayed, but she was making arrangements and if they could please just charge her a premium late fee until everything was settled, that would be wonderful.
She winced at the new monthly dollar amount quoted to her, but had no choice but to agree to it. She couldn’t have her nana on the street, no matter how much it cost to keep her in the home. She’d luck into a job at some point. Hopefully sooner rather than later.
When all the arrangements were made, her flight booked, her nana handled, Kylie sat for a moment on the edge of the bed and pinched the bridge of her nose, trying hard not to cry. Everything felt so overwhelming at the moment.
It would be so easy to go to Cade, whine to him about her troubles, and let him fix it. Let him fling some money at it and make it go away.
And . . . then what? Be indebted to him? Wait for him to throw her a bone? Constantly be anxious about money and how much she owes him and how she’d pay him back? Wonder if he’s going to get tired of having to clean up her messes and send her packing?
She’d been there before. And it was awful.
Never again. She’d just have to suck it up and figure out other ways to make things work. And if they didn’t involve Cade, so be it. The timing was all wrong. She swiped at her eyes, hating the decision she was going to make, but knowing she was going to do it anyhow.
Still, she was unprepared when she opened the door to her hotel room, and Cade stood there, tired and rumpled and smiling at the sight of her.
“Hi, sweetheart,” he said. “Can I come in?”
And she hesitated all over again. More than anything, she wanted to throw herself into his arms. To say, Yes, please hold me, Cade, and make it better for me. Instead, she shook her head. “I need to get to the airport.”
His face fell. “What? Kylie, why?”
“I’m going home.” The words were strained, hard to get out around the knot in her throat.
Cade blocked the door, not letting her pass. “I don’t understand. I thought we were good. I thought—last night, when I held you—”
She shook her head. “We can’t be good, Cade.” I have the threat of a lawsuit hanging over my head and the timing’s all wrong and I don’t want to come to you as a burden.
“Why not?”
“Because we’re fucking everyone over by trying to be together,” she snapped. “You choosing me publicly made Daphne go off the deep end.”
His face grew red with anger. “We’re not to blame for Daphne’s actions—”
“And now there’s an entire busload of people depending on this tour that are out of work.” And my nana needs me to come up with ten grand in the next two weeks or she’s going to be out on the street. “I can’t keep being selfish about this, not when it costs the happiness of so many other people.”
“What about my happiness?” he asked quietly. “Don’t I count?”
Oh God, he counted. He counted so much. But she’d just had an entire day of people’s hate and loathing in her face and her bank account had been more or less emptied by the label because she couldn’t keep it in her pants when it came to Cade.
And how she’d end up being a burden to him.
A burden. A responsibility to be taken care of. Not a lover, but a millstone around his neck, always costing money.
A burden was the last thing she ever wanted to be.
So she shook her head. “I’m sorry, Cade. I can’t do this. I care for you—”
“Last night you said you loved me.” The pain in his blue eyes was stark.
“I do love you,” Kylie said. “But that doesn’t mean I can be with you. Not now. Maybe not ever. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t understand, Kylie.” He shook his head, baffled. “Don’t do this. Don’t separate us again. Whatever it is, whatever’s bothering you, I can help. Whatever your burdens, let me share them—”
But she went still at the word burdens. “I’m sorry,” she said. She shoved her way past him, down the hall, and into the elevator that was just about to close.
He didn’t come after her. Kylie squeezed her eyes shut, willing her tears to wait until she got into the cab waiting to take her to the airport.
She almost made it, too.
TWENTY
One week later
“How’s Daphne doing?” Cade asked Carmela as he dodged taxis, crossing a busy intersection in Manhattan. “She adjusting?”
“She’s doing really well,” Carmela said cheerfully. “Smoking like a damn chimney, but I figure we can tackle one thing at a time. Oh, and she’s cranky and irritable as hell, but overall, she’s doing well.” She paused for a moment. “She’d say hello, but she’s currently got her head in the toilet.”
He smiled to hear that. At least someone’s life was turning around. “Tell her the vomiting goes away soon enough and she’ll be happier for it.”
A pause. “She says fuck you, and she can handle it,” Carmela said, and chuckled. “Seriously though, things are good. Well, mostly. I’m going to go get you some more smokes, Daph,” Carmela called, and he heard her walking on the other end of the phone. She must have had something to tell him that she didn’t want Daphne to hear.