“If you were in my position, would you have slept with the board member?”
He runs a hand through his damp hair, smoothing it back. “No,” he says resolutely. He opens a dresser drawer. “I don’t do that anymore.” Because we’re together.
“Before I was in the picture,” I rephrase.
He pauses. “It would have depended on the circumstance and the variables in the equation. I never jumped into bed blindly.” So he’s saying maybe. It would have to be the path with the highest benefit in order for him to choose it, and he’s telling me that sex isn’t always the answer.
“Was it easy?” I ask.
“Yes.” His voice is even-tempered, his expression even more so. He removes his towel, giving me a view of his toned ass before he puts on navy boxer-briefs.
I watch him walk to the closet, and he disappears inside. I follow him there, rolling down the sleeves of my sweater.
“How was it easy?” I question, wanting answers all of a sudden. “I can’t imagine you willfully getting on your knees, blowing someone without it being difficult.”
My husband loves the control, thrives on it. I can’t picture him stripped of his dominance during sex. Even when I had him handcuffed on his birthday, he was still incredibly alpha.
Connor steps into a pair of khaki pants. “Dropping to your knees doesn’t take much effort.”
“I’m not talking about the physical act.” But he knows this. He’s just stalling.
He finishes putting on his pants and turns to me. “I know what you want me to say. That it took this huge emotional toll on me. That inside I’m wounded.” Antipathy drips from the last word.
“I don’t want you to say that,” I reply softly.
“Then what do you want?”
“The truth,” I shoot back, hostility suddenly spiking my voice. “Just the truth.”
He nods. “Truthfully,” he says, “it was easy, Rose. And I know you can’t fathom that because it would never be easy for you. But that’s because I didn’t marry myself.” He reminds me, “If I wanted to be with someone a little more like me, then we would never be together.”
My shoulders sink, realizing he’s right. I can’t wrap my head around emotionless sex. I can’t pick apart my feelings to accurately understand. I probably never will, and I have to be okay with that.
“Thank you,” I say honestly. We didn’t need any games this time. I just simply asked and he offered. It wasn’t as fun, but it was nice.
My phone rings on the bed. I rush out of the closet to answer it. The minute I click speaker phone, Theo says, “It’s faxed. You need to sign and fax it back to me while I’m at the office. As quickly as you can.” He hangs up without another word.
I walk very fast to the office on the first floor and pluck the contract from the machine, paper clipping the pages, signing my name in the appropriate places. After highlighting the lines where Loren needs to sign, I switch my mission to tracking him down.
Once I have his signature, I can fax them back to Theo, and I’ve won.
I ascend the stairs to the second floor. My quick steps slow when I near Loren and Lily’s room. Muffled moaning sounds filter through the hallway. “Yes…yesyesyes!!”
No. No, no, no.
28
ROSE COBALT
Lily gasps and repeats Lo’s name in orgasmic succession. I refuse to let their crazy sex drive ruin my goals.
Without a single knock, I surge into their darkened room, deep-red curtains pulled shut, and I force my eyes on the target. I try not to engrain Loren’s position on top of my sister, mid-thrust, her legs spread open around him.
I need to bleach my eyes after this.
His bare ass is in complete view, the champagne-colored blankets bunched at the edge of the bed.
“What the fuck?! ROSE!” Loren screams angrily. Lily lets out an embarrassed yelp and starts slapping Lo to climb off her.
I charge ahead, pretending like they’re fully clothed and not in the middle of screwing. Yes, I would scoop out his eyeballs and burn them if he did this to me. But I have no time to waste, and they literally could be fucking for the next four hours. I’m not waiting for them to finish.
I extend my arm with the contract and hold out a pen. “Sign, please.”
Lo’s entire face sharpens, shooting me the signature Hale death-glare that tries to slash my resolve. I don’t cower, not even for a second. This means too much to me.
“Get the fuck out,” he sneers. “Ride on your broom back to where you came from.”
I swat his bare shoulder with the contract. “Sign. This isn’t a joke. I have minutes, maybe seconds, before I lose this.” The desperation must be clear in my voice. His broiling anger turns down a notch, his amber eyes shifting off me and back onto his wife.
Lily has frozen underneath him, her hands pressed to her face as though she can hide. Loren finally moves off my sister, and she shrieks, “LO!”
He tosses a nearby red suede blanket on her, covering her from sight, and then he sits up and faces me. Still entirely naked. He’s trying to force me out of his room by sheer embarrassment, on my part. I suck in a sharp breath.
I’m not caving.
I lock eyes with him, never looking down at his genitalia. I will not call his penis by any other name than proper scientific terms.
He snatches the documents from me and flips through the papers. “Jesus Christ, how many pages are there?”
“Ten,” I say. “Just sign where I highlighted.”
He shoots me a look like I need to find my missing brain cells. “I’m not going to sign something that I haven’t read. In fact, I need to call my lawyer to look over these too.”
That will take forever. “It’s a standard contract,” I explain.
“Shouldn’t you have learned from your last mistake?” He means when I didn’t have a lawyer look over the contracts that Scott gave us for the reality show, and in effect, he legally owns sex tapes of me.
This is different. “It’s been in the works for months. I’ve even helped Daniel draft these. Please don’t be responsible right now.”
He gapes. “Do you hear yourself? Who the fuck body-snatched you in the middle of the night?” He shakes his head. “I don’t know why I’m surprised after all the weird things you’ve been doing. Like yesterday?” He gives me another what the fuck look.
I go rigid. “You saw the article?” Already?
“Ummmm,” Lily starts to say something, but her voice is stifled beneath the blanket. Gradually, she pulls the suede fabric down. Her eyes emerge and then her nose, slowly her mouth. I’m staring at her like hurry up. And Lo looks at Lily like he’s seconds from fucking her again.
“There are online stores that sell those things,” Lily tells me. “You don’t have to go out publicly to buy them.”
“I’m not ashamed,” I say, a little too forcefully…it implies that Lily is—and I didn’t mean…
She reddens. “You shouldn’t be.” She nods as though breathing in this reality that she wants to own too. I didn’t want to make her feel bad for shopping online. That’s a great alternative.
Lily clears her throat. “But I just meant that the more Connor and you do these things in public, the more the media has been asking us about you two. We always thought you liked your relationship out of focus. Even while filming Princesses of Philly, it was more about Lo and me.”