*****
I spent the rest of that bitter, grey day in the greenhouse, hiding out with a first edition Solzhenitsyn that I’d sneaked out of Blaine’s library until the last of the light faded from the horizon and I could no longer keep the autumn damp from seeping deep into my core. I still wasn’t hungry, but needed a gallon or so of tea to begin to thaw me out. I also needed to scrounge a couple of paracetamol to take the sting out of my latest branding.
The kitchen was deserted. Coyle, already drunk for all Ireland, had retired to the biggest suite in the hall where he would spend the rest of his time keeping a dozen cartels in business and wanking himself blind, unless I did something stupid that summoned him out of his lair so that he could kick my head in for sport. I had no idea where Henry was, and Lilith was still nowhere to be seen. I filled the kettle and set it on the stove, slamming it around as though the cacophony could drive away the memory of her sitting, neat and beautiful, at the same table where that bloody newspaper now mocked me.
I pulled my sweatshirt over my head and winced as the fabric pulled away the top layer of my cigarette burn. I reckoned Henry must have a box of Band-Aids somewhere in his meticulously arranged drawers, and began to rifle through them.
‘You know, you could just ask nicely and I’d find whatever it is you’re looking for.’ Henry removed his rain-spattered waxed jacket and draped it over a hook on the back of the door. He began to follow me around the kitchen, replacing the items I’d scattered over the floor and pushing the drawers back in. ‘So?’
‘So, what?’
‘What are you looking for? Or are you just destroying my kitchen for the amusement value?’
‘Band-Aid.’ I didn’t look up from my search. I knew I was sending Henry’s blood pressure sky-high as I scattered his collections of arranged-by-size elastic bands and date-ordered discount vouchers, but it was the nearest thing I was going to get to a laugh that day.
Henry’s face immediately creased with concern, despite the fact I was destroying his universe. ‘What for? Have you hurt yourself?’
‘For this, all right?’ I spat, and showed him the burn that was now a weeping, angry red disc.
Henry didn’t say anything to that. He simply went to the right drawer and handed me the box.
I didn’t bother with thanks. ‘Where the hell were you, anyway?’
‘Well I was hardly going to swim back to the bloody island, was I?’ Lilith said from the doorway. She was still wearing her outfit from the night before.
‘So. How was your trip?’ I didn’t even try to keep the resentment from my voice.
‘Expensive.’
‘Yeah, I can imagine. What was it? A magnum of champagne and a pack of three for your fuckfest with Gabriel bastard James?’
‘Finn!’ Henry snapped. ‘I’m so sorry, Lilith. Coyle’s been in, winding Finn up with that.’ He pointed to the newspaper as though it were radioactive waste.
‘Fuck off and die, Henry.’ I was behaving like a twat again, and I didn’t care. The fact that Lilith, who had just had her best opportunity to disappear yet had chosen to return to this madhouse, meant less to me than the front page of The Herald.
‘Ah. I didn’t plan on you reading that,’ Lilith said.
‘No, I bet you fucking didn’t.’
Lilith ignored me and picked up the paper. She stood and slowly read that bloody article from beginning to end, an infuriating smile flickering across her lips as she took in the most amusing details. Finally she folded the pages perfectly in half and dropped it in the bin. ‘Well that worked.’
‘What did? Sorting out your next shag for when you’re done here?’
‘No. My impromptu attempt at misdirection.’ She pulled an elastic band from her ponytail and shook her hair free. It hung in damp strands across her face and I finally realised just how exhausted she looked. Then I thought about what had caused that exhaustion and my anger sparked once more.
‘Don’t play with me, Lilith.’ I tried to barge past her. She caught me by the shoulder.
‘Finn, the most I did with Gabriel was drink forty cups of coffee so I could get back to Albermarle before my curfew.’
‘Yeah, right.’ I pulled my arm away but didn’t move from the spot.
‘You were about to tell us how the trip went, Lilith,’ Henry chimed, desperate to break the storm that was building in his sacred space. He ignored my glare and began to brew the tea that I had started half an hour earlier.