I’m so bloody confused right now.
“Daisy?”
My eyes snap up, my insides jumping like I’ve just been caught doing something wrong.
It’s Cooper.
“Hey.” I paste on a smile.
“Hey. Everything okay?”
I nod my head.
“I was just coming to grab some milk. We ran out, and I’m dying for a cuppa.”
“Sure. You want me to grab it for you?”
“Looks like you’ve got your hands full.” He nods at the stuff I’m carrying. “How about I help you with this stuff, and then we can get the milk together?”
“Sure,” I say, smiling, as I hand over the bucket to him, my thoughts about Kas momentarily forgotten.
Thirteen
I’m nervous.
Scared and beyond terrified of how Jesse is going to be when I see him.
God, I wonder what he looks like now. I haven’t seen him in so long, not since the day I was sentenced in court.
“You ready?” Cece’s soft voice comes from beside me.
We’re sitting in Cece’s car, across the street from where Jesse lives. She offered to drop me off before she heads to work.
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can do this, Ce.”
I’ve wanted to see Jesse so badly since my release, but now that I’m so close to it happening, I’m sick with nerves.
She places her hand over mine, gripping it. “There’s no need to be afraid. It’s just Jesse—that sweet kid you raised, who adores you.”
“Not anymore. He hates me.”
“No, he doesn’t. He’s fourteen and angry, and he has a massive chip on his shoulder because he convinced himself that you’d left him. He knows, deep down, that it isn’t true. He just needs to see you. I think, once he sees you and you guys start talking, things will be okay.”
I look at the surety in her eyes and try to feel it myself.
“Yeah, you’re right.” I force a smile. “Thanks for the lift.” I lean over and kiss her cheek. “Have a good day at work. See you at home later.”
“Have a great day,” she calls as I climb out of the car. “And tell our boy I said hi.”
“Will do.” I give her a thumbs-up and then shut the door.
I watch her car pull away, and then I cross the street to the boys home where Jesse lives.
Walking up the steps to the front door, my legs are trembling. I take a deep breath and lift a shaking hand to ring the doorbell.
I wait, my leg jigging on the spot.
Through the frosted glass, I see someone approaching the door. Then, the door opens, revealing a man with light-brown hair, who looks to be in his early thirties.
“Hi, I’m Daisy Smith, Jesse’s sister. I was told to ask for Tim Marshall.”
“I’m Tim.” He smiles. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Daisy. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
He has?
That must mean that Jesse has talked about me.
It’s just what I needed to ease my nerves and lift my spirits a little.
“Come in,” he tells me.
I step inside. Tim closes the door behind me.
It’s quiet in the house, and I wonder where the rest of the boys who live here are.
As if reading my mind, Tim says, “The house is empty—aside from Jesse, of course. The boys have gone out for ice cream with Jenna, who works here with me,” he explains. “We thought it’d be nice to give you and Jesse some space.”
“Thank you.” I smile, but it feels awkward and clumsy on my lips. My hands are shaking. My head feels like it’s about to explode. I bind my hands together in front of me, trying to ease the trembling.
“Jesse’s just in the living room.”
“Okay. Thanks.”
“You can breathe.” He gives me a gentle smile.
I laugh softly, exhaling.
“I know how nervous you must be feeling right now. But, trust me when I say, it’s going to be okay. Jesse will never admit this, but he’s just as nervous to see you.”
“He is?” I hate to think that Jesse is feeling nervous, but knowing that I’m not alone in this and that he does actually want to see me helps.
“Don’t tell him I told you this, but he was up at six thirty this morning. He showered and is wearing his nicest clothes. For a kid who I have to put a bomb under to get him out of bed for school every morning and practically hose him down in the garden to get him to wash…well, it says a lot.”
“Yeah.” I smile, but his words also hit me. Telling me just how much Jesse has changed.
The Jesse I knew was always up and out of bed early. And he loved taking baths.
I’ve missed so many changes in his life.
Tim walks down the short hallway. Stopping at a door, he opens it. “Jesse…Daisy’s here.”
I follow inside behind Tim.
And there he is, the sole reason I get out of bed every morning.
Love floods me. Tears prick my eyes. I feel like I’ve been smothered in happiness and punched in the chest with a fistful of pain, all at the same time.
The boy I knew looks like a young man. Even sitting, I can see how tall he is. His legs are so long. And he looks so much like Dad. He must have grown about two feet in the last eighteen months.
His hair is different. He always liked to wear his hair short. But, now, his dark brown hair is all grown out, curling around his ears. His jeans are black with a chain fixed on the pocket, linking to his belt that has a skull on the front of it. His T-shirt is black with a band on the front that I’m not familiar with. He looks a world away from the boy I left.