“They forced us off the main path, deep into the foliage. I tried to fight back. I’d always been tall for my age, but I wasn’t built like I am now. I wasn’t as strong. And they were older, stronger, and armed. All three of them were carrying knives. I didn’t stand a chance against them. They took turns kicking the shit out of me. I remember hearing Haley screaming, begging them to stop, and then her screams became muffled until they were just soft whimpers.”
His brows draw together in pain, and more than anything, I want to go to him, comfort him. But unsure of if he wants me to, I stay in my seat, feeling helpless.
“I was on the ground, beaten up pretty bad. My nose was broken, and my eyebrow was split and bleeding into my eye. I could hear them laughing about it…me. They were talking, but I couldn’t make out what was being said. Then, I was rolled over onto my back. Two of them held me down. One with a knife to my throat, and the other bastard sat down on me, straddling me, as he hovered his knife over my stomach.” He drags a hand over his face, clearing all emotion from it.
I feel sick at the thought of what’s to come.
“The guy with the knife at my throat leaned in and laughed in my face. I can still remember exactly how he smelled…rotten breath that stank of cheap alcohol and cigarette smoke.” He draws in a breath. “He laughed and said, ‘Now, you get to watch while we take turns fucking your pretty girlfriend.’ Then, he grabbed my face”—Kas puts his hands to his face, holding his cheeks, in what seems to be a subconscious movement—“and turned it to the side. Haley was…”
He stops, swallowing back his grief.
The pain I’m feeling for him is indescribable. I’ve never hurt for someone like I’m hurting for him right now.
He exhales a harsh breath. “Haley was on the ground a few feet from me. Something had been tied over her mouth, so she couldn’t scream. And the other guy…he was on top of her…raping her.”
Oh God, no. My eyes briefly close in anguish.
“He was raping her, and I couldn’t do a goddamn thing to help her. She was looking at me with fear and pleading in her eyes, and I…couldn’t watch.” His words catch in his throat. He presses his fist to his mouth before dropping it.
“I shut my eyes, Daisy. I left her there, alone. I shut my fucking eyes, like the coward I was, because I couldn’t bear to see them hurting her.
“A second later, I felt a hot pain in my stomach. The guy sitting on me had stabbed me in the stomach for shutting my eyes. They’d meant it when they said they wanted me to watch. It was just a fucking game to them. We were a game to them. The bastard told me, if I shut my eyes again, then he’d kill me. And he meant it.” His glistening eyes stare at the floor.
“So, I watched while they took turns raping her. I watched them hurt her over and over again.” He swallows hard.
“The leader of the gang knelt on top of me, holding me down. I knew he was in charge, as he’d been the one giving all the orders…and he was the first one of those bastards to rape Haley. He’d made it clear to them that he was going first.
“They were all sick fucks, but he was a special brand of sick, all on his own. He really got off on it. He taunted me, telling me what a good fuck she was. He—” He breaks off at his own words, his breathing heavier, angrier. “He even thanked me for sharing her with him and his boys.” The sound of disbelief that escapes him is filled with agony.
Bile rises in my throat at the thought of what he and Haley went through that night.
I wrap my arms around my stomach, trying to hold myself together.
“Then, he told me that, even though I’d been good to him by letting him have my girl, he couldn’t let me live. He drove his knife into my chest, and then he just kept on stabbing. He was smiling the whole fucking time.
“I must’ve blacked out from the pain because I eventually came to, and when I did, they were gone. Maybe they had thought I was dead, or maybe they just hadn’t cared to check. But Haley…she was dead. They’d stabbed her multiple times in the chest while I was blacked out, and as I found out later, they’d finally strangled her to death.
“She died alone and in pain.”
He’s silent for a long moment before he speaks again, “Not long after I awoke, we were found by a passerby who was out late, walking his dog. Somehow, I survived. Some days, I wish I hadn’t.”
His eyes come to me. His expression is unreadable. “So, now, you know everything.”
He stands abruptly.
I shakily get to my feet. “Kas—”
“Don’t.” He lifts a hand, stopping me from going further, even though I have no clue what to say. “You don’t need to say anything, Daisy. I didn’t tell you to be a bastard or hurt you or have you feel sorry for me. You wanted to know, and now, you do. You know the very worst part of me.”
Then, he walks out of my living room and out of my apartment.
And I let him go.
Thirty
I didn’t go into work today. After what Kas had told me before leaving the way he had, I wasn’t sure he would want me to be there. I thought he would need some time to himself. I’ll make today’s hours up this weekend. I just wanted to give him space away from me, and honestly, I needed some time to process.
Kas’s words have been haunting me all day, conjuring up the images of what he must have lived through that night. What he still lives with every day.
“Somehow, I survived. Some days, I wish I hadn’t.”