When I look into his face, I see tenderness. It curls around my heart and squeezes tight.
I shut my eyes against the feeling. “I don’t even know you,” I whisper. “I can’t be in love with a man I don’t know.”
I feel him move closer.
“You know me, Daisy. You’re the only person who truly knows me.”
I open my eyes and stare up into his soulful eyes. The hope in his gaze makes me ache.
I shake my head. “No, I don’t. You’ve lied to me from the second I met you. You knew me before I even knew you.” I point at the picture of me and Jason on the wall, but his eyes don’t leave mine. “How did I end up working for you, Kas?” My words are quiet.
His eyes close briefly, his brows drawing together, as if I just yelled at him. “I made it so that you would come work for me.”
A sick feeling unfurls in my stomach.
“Why would you do that?” I think I already know, but I need him to tell me. I need to hear this from him.
He takes a step back, putting much-needed distance between us. “Because I’ve been trying to pin down Damien Doyle for a long time. But he has this fucking amazing ability to disappear. And, when he disappears, he goes completely off the grid, and there’s just no finding him. Believe me, I’ve tried.
“I just needed an in with him. That’s how I get close enough to kill them. They don’t remember me. I look very different to the kid they tortured in that park seven years ago. I get in, and then I kill them.
“Damien had only just reappeared back in London after being gone for a long time, and that was when I found out he had a brother. I saw my way in to get close to Damien. But Jason was skittish. He was afraid of his brother, but he was loyal as fuck to him. Then…I found out that Jason had a girlfriend.”
“You know Jason.” I wrap my arms over my chest, rubbing my suddenly chilled arms with my hands.
“I’d watched him for a while. Then, one night, I followed him to a bar. Started talking to him. He talked easy with a few beers in him, but he clammed up at the mention of his brother. He liked to talk about you though. A lot.”
I squeeze my eyes shut, fists clenching at my sides.
“I watched you…and, fuck, Daisy, you were so beautiful. I had never seen someone so beautiful. Watching you, parts of me started to awaken. But I wanted to hate you because I thought you were one of them. I thought you had to know the kind of people you were involved with. And then, a few weeks later, you were arrested, and I was proven right—or so I thought.
“I knew Jason wasn’t capable of orchestrating anything; the guy’s a fucking flake. I got that after just spending a few hours talking to him. I knew, in my gut, that it was something to do with Damien. It had him written all over it. And, if you were involved, then that meant you were close to Damien. I saw you as my in. I was going to use you to get close to him. Then, I was going to kill him.
“Of course, Damien disappeared right after you were arrested. So, I waited. Then, when your release came up, I got in touch with a friend of Jude’s who works in probation service. I told him I wanted to help out with the Back to Work program they have for felons. I said I was looking for a maid because my last one had left unexpectedly. He put me in touch with Toby—”
“Tania,” I breathe out her name. “Did she leave voluntarily? Or did you make her leave?”
His eyes flash with hurt. “Tania was an illegal immigrant. She was deported back to Poland. I kept it quiet, as I didn’t want negative attention brought to the estate.”
“Convenient timing for you.”
Jaw gritted, he says, “Tania was gone for two months before you started working here. I didn’t fucking hurt her, Daisy. I don’t go around killing people for fun. Tania’s alive and well and living in Poland with her family. I can prove it to you—”
“Were you and she…”
“No.” Disappointment flickers in his eyes. “There has been no one but you. You know that.”
“Yeah, well, forgive me for not believing a word you’ve ever said.”
“I’ve never lied to you, Daisy. I’ve kept things from you, but I’ve never lied.”
“Bullshit!” I jab a finger in the direction of his office. “You stared into my eyes and barefaced lied to me the other day! You stood there and told me that fucking door never existed!”
Anger flashes across his face. “Clearly, that was a mistake. And I might have lied about that—hidden that from you, but it was with good reason. But I have never lied about anything to do with you and me.”
“All of this has to do with you and me!” I throw my arms around. “You kept this from me!”
“How was I supposed to tell you? By the way, Daisy, I’m taking out the men who raped and murdered my childhood sweetheart—the men who did this to me and left me for dead!” He slams a hand against his scarred chest. “That getting my revenge is the only thing that’s kept me breathing for the last seven years!” He breaks off, panting, his eyes wild and wide on me.
The worst thing is…I get it.
I get why he’s done what he’s done. If they’d done that to me or Cece or Jesse—what they’d done to him and Haley—I’d want to kill them, too.
But that doesn’t mean I would. I would let the law do its job.
“Why kill them? Why not turn them over to the police?”
He barks out a laugh, but there’s not a shred of humor in it. He steps back, leaning against the wall, and folds his arms over his chest, staring straight ahead at the wall that is covered with the news cuttings and pictures of Haley.