My heart raced in anticipation.
Daddy pointed at Rune. “Rune here seems to think he’s taking you out.” He said it as though it couldn’t possibly be true, but I heard the doubt in his voice.
“Yes,” I confirmed.
I heard the hushed whispers of my sisters coming from behind us. I saw my mama watching from the shadow of the living room.
“Poppy—” My daddy went to speak, but I stepped forward, cutting him off.
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “I’ll be fine.” It seemed like my daddy couldn’t move. I used this awkward moment to walk around the door and greet Rune.
I felt my lungs seize and my heart stop dead.
Rune was dressed all in black: t-shirt, jeans, suede boots, and leather biker jacket. His long hair was down. I savored the moment when he lifted his hand and pushed it through his hair. He was leaning against the doorway, an air of arrogance radiating from his casual stance.
When his eyes, bright under frowning dark-blond brows, fell on me, I saw light flare in his gaze. His eyes slowly tracked over my body, over my long-sleeved yellow dress, down my legs, and back up to the white bow holding up one side of my hair. His nostrils flaring and his pupils enlarging were the only evidence that he liked what he saw.
Blushing under his heavy stare, I dragged in a breath. The air was thick and full. The tension between us was palpable. I realized in that moment that it was possible to miss someone fiercely even though mere hours had passed since you’d last been together.
The clearing of my daddy’s throat hurled me back to reality. I glanced back. Putting a reassuring hand on his arm, I said, “I’ll be back later Daddy, okay?”
Not waiting for his response, I ducked under his arm that was leaning on the door, and out onto the porch. Rune slowly pushed his body away from the doorframe and turned to follow me. When we reached the end of the driveway I turned to him.
His intense gaze was already on me, his jaw clenching as I waited for him to speak. Peering over his shoulder, I saw my daddy watching us leave, that worried expression still marring his face.
Rune looked back, but didn’t react. He didn’t say a single word. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a set of keys. He flicked his chin toward his mamma’s Range Rover. “I got the car,” was all he said, as he walked forward.
I followed him, heart thudding as I made my way to the car. I focused on the ground to steady my nerves. When I looked up, Rune had opened the passenger door for me. Suddenly, all of my nerves slipped away.
There he stood, like a dark angel, watching me, waiting for me to climb inside. Smiling at him as I passed, I jumped in the car, blushing with happiness as he gently closed the door and got in the driver’s side.
Rune started the engine without a word, his attention fixed on my house through the windscreen. There was my daddy, still as a rock, watching us leave.
Rune’s jaw clenched once more.
“He’s just protective, is all,” I explained, my voice breaching the silence. Rune cast me a sideways look. With a dark glare at my daddy, Rune pulled out of the street, a thick silence gradually intensifying the farther we drove.
Rune’s hands gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles white. I could feel the anger rolling off him in waves. It made me feel so sad. Never before had I seen anyone harbor so much rage.
I couldn’t imagine living like this every day. Couldn’t imagine feeling that barbed coil forever in my stomach, that aching of the heart.
Inhaling, I turned to Rune and tentatively asked, “Are you okay?”
Rune exhaled harshly through his nose. He nodded his head once, then pushed back his hair. My eyes fell to his biker jacket and I smiled.
Rune arched his right brow. “What?” he asked, the sound of his deep voice rumbling through my chest.
“Just you,” I replied evasively.
Rune darted his gaze to the road, then back to me. When he repeated it several more times, I could tell it was because he was desperate to know what I was thinking.
Reaching out, I let my hand drift over the distressed leather on the arm of his jacket. Rune’s muscles bunched under my palm.
“I can see why all the girls in town have a crush on you.” I said. “Ida was telling me all about it tonight. How all of them would be jealous that I was on a date with you.”
Rune’s eyebrows drew down. I laughed, truly laughed, at the lines on his forehead. He rubbed his lips together as I giggled louder, but I could see the sparkle in his eyes. I could see him disguising his amusement.
Sighing lightly, I wiped my eyes. I noticed that Rune’s hands had slackened some on the wheel. His jaw wasn’t so tense and his eyes weren’t so narrowed.
Taking the opportunity while I could, I explained, “Since I got sick, Daddy got more protective. He doesn’t hate you, Rune. He just doesn’t know this new you. He didn’t even know we’d been speaking again.”
Rune sat still, saying nothing.
This time I didn’t try to talk. It was clear that Rune had slipped back into a mood. But nowadays, I wasn’t sure how to bring him out of it. If I even could. I turned to watch the world outside as we drove. I had no idea where we were going, the excitement making it impossible to sit still.
Suddenly hating the quiet in the car, I leaned over to the radio and switched it on. I flicked the dial to my favorite channel; the harmonies of my favorite girl band filled the car.
“I love this song,” I said happily, sitting back in my seat as the slow piano melody began filling every corner of the car. I listened to the opening bars, singing along quietly to the stripped-back acoustic version of the song. My favorite version.
I closed my eyes, letting the heartbreaking lyrics flow into my mind and out through my lips. I smiled when the string section struck up in the background, deepening the emotion with its dulcet sounds.
This was why I loved music.
Only music had the ability to steal my breath, and give life to the song’s story so flawlessly. So profoundly. I opened my eyes and found Rune’s face had lost all anger. His blue eyes were watching me, as much as they could. His hands were tighter on the wheel, but there was something else in his expression.
My mouth grew dry as he glanced at me again, his face unreadable. “It’s about a girl who desperately loves a boy, with her whole heart. They keep their love a secret, but she doesn’t want it to be that way. She wants the world to know that he’s hers and she’s his.”
Then, to my utter surprise, Rune rasped, “Keep singing.”
I saw it on his face; I saw his need to hear me.
So I did.
I wasn’t a strong singer. So I sang it soft, I sang it true. I sang the lyrics, embracing every word. As I sang the song about love requited, I sang them with heart. These lyrics, these passionate pleas, I had lived.
Still lived.
They were Rune and me. Our separation. My foolish plan: to keep him out of my life, to save him from pain, unexpectedly wounding both of us in the process. Loving him from here in America, him loving me from Oslo, in return, in secret.
When the last lyric faded, I opened my eyes, my chest aching from the rawness of the emotions. Another song began to play, one I didn’t know. I could feel Rune’s watchful gaze boring into me, yet I couldn’t lift my head.
Something was making it impossible.
I let my head roll against the headrest, and I stared out the window. “I love music,” I said, almost to myself.
“I know you do,” Rune answered. His voice was firm, strong and clear. But in that tone, I caught a hint of tenderness. Of something gentle. Caring. I rolled my head to face him. I didn’t say anything as our eyes met. I simply smiled. It was small and timid, but Rune let out a slow breath as I did.