His big body stiffened under me. “Don’t want to hear about my baby girl being naked with anyone, ever.”
I chuckled a little. “Sorry, Dad.” It was rare he was uncomfortable about anything, but I guess the thought of his only child being anywhere near any kind of sex still had the power to make him squirm.
“Avett, I don’t know much about your legal eagle, but he helped you out time and time again and refused to let you go about all that Law & Order business alone. He stepped in when he thought you were in danger and he showed up when you needed him when the house burned. That’s some pretty solid evidence that the man is the right one in your old man’s opinion. Those are the kinds of traits a father appreciates in the man his baby girl has her eyes on.”
I snuggled in closer to him and muttered quietly, “I can’t believe you’re trying to convince me to keep a boy around. You never do that. You’re always shoving them out the door and telling me to do better.”
I felt his beard move against the top of my head as he sighed. “That’s because Quaid isn’t one of your boys, Avett. He’s a man with his own life and a whole history that he had before you came along. It sounds to me like he’s willing to share both of those things with you, and instead of taking him up on his offer you ran away. The boys were throwaway—this man’s one you might want to consider holding on to, Sprite. Not sure anyone will ever be good enough for my little girl but this man comes pretty close.”
I frowned at the TV and pushed off my dad so that I could sit up and cross my arms over my chest. “I didn’t run away. I left because one of us was going to have to leave eventually.”
My dad’s bushy eyebrows lifted up and I saw his teeth flash within the forest of his beard. “Why? Why would one of you have to leave eventually?”
I opened my mouth to tell him that we didn’t fit, that we didn’t work, and that Quaid needed someone more elegant and refined that would suit his polished and pristine life. I wanted to argue that our backgrounds were too different, that what we valued and held dear were on opposing pages, in completely different books, on opposite sides of the library. I couldn’t get the words out because they weren’t really true. I’d spent my time trying so hard to feel as badly as I possibly could while Quaid spent his trying to feel as good and as successful as possible. Neither one of us had obtained our goal until each other. Right at this moment, I knew I felt as bad as I ever would and I had seen it in Quaid’s eyes when we made love on his mountain that he had never felt that good and that worthy.
Like recognized like. And while we had both been lost and floundering on our own, when we were together it felt like we were exactly where we were supposed to be.
I heaved a sigh of defeat and slumped back into the couch. “I was at his office and his boss came in and made a bunch of shitty comments about me. He accused Quaid of only taking my case because he wanted in my pants and then told him he needed to find someone acceptable to bring with him to some office function. Quaid was pissed but all I could see was him trying to take me with him to something like that and it going horribly wrong. He’s done so much for me in such a short time. I don’t want him in hot water at work or at odds with his boss. He wants to make partner and I doubt if we stay together that will happen. I don’t want him to sacrifice his plans or his dreams because of me.”
My dad narrowed his eyes at me and it was his turn to cross his arms over his barrel-like chest as he glared at me consideringly. “Why not? He’s an adult and if he wants to sacrifice anything, including his career for the woman he cares about, that’s his choice. It’s not up to you to make it for him, Avett.”
I poked a finger at my own chest. “I don’t want to be a mistake he makes and suffers from. He’s already lost enough.” I wasn’t comfortable giving my dad Quaid’s story. It was his to tell and if he wanted my father to know the ins and outs of his childhood and his divorce he could share those details, not that I was expecting them to get any bonding time in the near future.
My dad swore softly and lumbered to his booted feet. He bent over and dropped a soft kiss on the top of my head and I felt those damn tears threatening again. “I understand where you’re coming from, Sprite, and I get that it’s coming from a good place in your too-big heart, but that’s still not your call to make. If the man wants to rearrange his life for you, that’s his choice to make, be it good or bad. You don’t get to corner the market on making risky decisions, Avett. Nothing is guaranteed, especially love, but only a coward doesn’t roll the dice and take a chance on it when it’s right there in front of them. Giving the man that has been there for you, that has shown up time and time again, the benefit of the doubt that he knows what he wants is far braver than tying yourself to all those losers that have been dragging you down for years. You were destined to fail with them, so when everything went south you knew it was inevitable.” His eyebrows lifted and a knowing grin pulled at his mouth. “Look at me and your mom, kiddo. We lost before we won but we wouldn’t have you or each other if we didn’t pony up and gamble on each other in the first place.”
I groaned. “Thanks for encouraging heartbreak and insanity, old man.” But his words settled around me and taunted me with their wisdom. I was beyond defying his good advice because I knew it was the smart thing to do and I wanted to live unfoolishly. Now I wanted to live the best life possible and be the best Avett possible and that meant no more blowing off dad’s sage wisdom and hard-earned insight.