I had the cab drop me off at the bar and barely noticed that the driver was giving my tear-streaked face a very concerned look in the rearview mirror for the entire ride. I took a deep breath and pushed through the doors like I was walking into an old Western gunfight completely unarmed. I had to blink to let my eyes adjust to the dimmer light inside the bar, and as I was getting reacquainted with a place that had always been in my blood, a deep and gravelly voice colored with tones from the deep south rumbled my name and drew my attention.
Dash Churchill, or Church as he was more commonly known, had been hired as security for the bar right about the time I lost my job. He was a strikingly attractive man. He was also the man that had stood up for me with Jared even though he hardly knew me and what he did know was nothing to write home about. I had a soft spot a mile wide for the beautiful former soldier and it had very little to do with the fact that he also had hazel eyes that were a crazy swirl of blue, brown and yellow that stood out like beacons in his golden-skinned face. Church never said much of anything to anyone so I wasn’t sure where he was from other than someplace down south and I had no clue what his heritage was, but wherever his parents had come from they sure as hell had succeeded in making one amazing-looking son. He was unforgettable and that was saying something because all my dad’s boys were pretty impressive in their own way.
“Hey, Church. Is Rome in his office? I want to talk to him real quick.”
“Long time no see, kiddo.” I could listen to him talk all day with his Johnny Cash–style rumble and that twang that wouldn’t quit, but I was on a mission and I needed to accomplish it before I chickened out.
“I know. I wasn’t sure about my welcome and, well … I need to make sure the boss knows how sorry I am for everything. He might not want to hear it, but I need to tell him anyway.”
For a big man Church moved quick and light on his feet. That was one of the reasons he was an asset to the bar; he could be in the middle of a fight or disagreement and have it broken up before the combatants knew what hit them. He was also stoic and seemingly immune to any and all the womanly charms that were constantly being shoved in his direction, but I secretly thought that had more to do with the adorable Dixie Carmichael than it did with any actual disinterest in women on his part. Dixie had worked at the bar for as long as I could remember. She was as much a part of the place as my dad was, and for as long as I had known her she had been unlucky in love. She and Church danced around one another, which had been both entertaining and frustrating to watch.
I jolted when his heavy arm landed on my shoulders and sucked in a surprised breath when I was folded into a chest that felt like it was carved of stone for a rib-cracking hug. Church wasn’t the most affectionate man I had ever met, so the hug not only caught me off guard, but it tugged on the heartstrings that were currently tied in knots and frayed at the ends because of Quaid.
“The boss knows this place is as much yours as it is his. You’ve always been welcome and you’ve been missed. He’ll listen to what you have to say and then you’ll listen to what he has to say and that’ll be the end of it.” He tilted his head in the direction of the back and gave me a hint of a grin, which was as close to a smile as I had ever seen him come. “He was working on invoices and bills for the month so I’m sure you’ll be a welcome distraction.”
I nodded briskly and stiffened my spine as I pulled out of the hug and headed across the battered wood floors towards the closed office door. I knocked and it felt like an eternity before a gruff “Come in” was issued. I pushed the door open and expected a scowl or a glower when Rome looked up from the messy desk in order to see who was behind the interruption. What I got was a smile that showed pearly white teeth and turned his harshly handsome face with the fierce scar that bisected one of his eyebrows and his forehead into something that was breathtaking and hard to look away from.
“Avett. What brings you by? Is your dad here?” Rome spoke a lot like he was still in the military. He didn’t waste words or time and his laser-like baby blues pinned me to the spot with almost no effort on his part. He cocked his shaved head to the side and gave me a narrow-eyed look when I didn’t immediately answer him. “Have you been crying?”
I laughed nervously and made my way over to one of the shabby chairs that sat across from his desk. I flopped down into the worn fabric and met his curious stare with an unfiltered one of my own. I was feeling raw, open, and stripped down to my most basic elements after that horrible confrontation with Quaid outside of the courthouse and there was no way to hold back the flood of honesty and admission as it rushed out of me.
“I came by because I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was a shitty employee. I’m sorry that I didn’t respect you or what you did with this place, and I’m so, so sorry I didn’t say no when Jared asked me to take the money from the cash register. I hate that I put you in a position where you had to fire me and it makes me so mad at myself that I purposely did things that made it impossible for me to ever come back here. You’re a good man, Rome. My dad wouldn’t have done what he did with the bar if you weren’t. I spent a lot of time ruining everything that was good in my life, which is why I self-sabotaged every opportunity you offered me. I can give you the long explanation as to why I felt like I deserved to be kicked around and why I kept inflicting wounds on myself to bleed from, but the moral of the story is that I know now that punishing myself never got me anywhere, and those actions hurt other people far worse than they ever hurt me.” I blinked at him and bit my lip. “Like you, and Asa.”