I cup my hand over the speaker. “I’m being very nice right now,” I whisper. “I could have easily hung up on her after I said my piece.” I wait for Rose to launch a grenade over the speaker, but she stays quiet, inadvertently answering me.
I groan in agitation. “Rose.” We’re fine.
Lily grabs the phone out of my hand and interjects, “You’re at a party. Shouldn’t you be having fun?”
“I’m at the Cobalt’s business party,” Rose reminds her. “Having fun at these events is never on the agenda.” She pauses. “The food isn’t terrible.” She hesitates like she has more to say. Maybe she wasn’t calling to nag us like a worried parent.
Now I feel like an ass**le.
“What is it?” Lily asks, sensing the same thing.
I rest my palms on the counter, on either side of Lily. I’m still a head taller than her, and she stares up at me while she waits for her sister to reply.
I watch her chest collapse, desire blanketing her face. I just want to f**k my best friend. Hurry up, Rose.
“Connor booked the suite tonight,” Rose whispers, as though to keep the people around her from hearing. “I found out when we arrived.”
I run my hands up Lily’s thighs, her jeans soft underneath my palms. I step closer so my c**k is right against that spot, the one I know is already soaked. Christ. I begin to harden, just ready to push completely inside of her. We f**ked twice already tonight—but this time is killing me more than the others.
I just want to hear Lily cry out.
Her lips part in a heavy breath.
“Lily?” Rose snaps, ice returning to her voice.
I remove my hands so she can talk to her sister, but I can’t back up. I lick my lips and rest my palms on the cabinet beside her head, leaning into her.
“What’s…so bad about that?” Lily asks. She forces her gaze to the ceiling so she can focus. I press my lips to her neck, lightly and then deeply. A noise catches in her throat just in time, so soft her sister can’t hear.
Lily’s hand tightens on my waist, and when I look up at her, she mouths, do you want to get caught?
No.
Rose and Ryke—they won’t understand. All they’ll see is a list of rules we’ve been given and tally off how many we’ve broken. Nothing else will matter.
I hear Rose inhale loudly. “Yesterday, I made this grand statement about how I’m ready to have sex with him—just to shut him up—and now I think he’s calling out my bluff.”
I can solve this problem. I glance at the phone in Lily’s hand. “Just tell Connor that you changed your mind. He won’t care.”
“He’ll win,” Rose says like that’s the stupidest idea.
“So what?”
Rose growls. “You wouldn’t understand.”
Lily mouths, I got this.
Great. Because I don’t speak Rose’s language.
Lily clears her throat. “Put him in a really uncomfortable position and then he’ll freak out and you both will be off the hook.”
I can practically feel Rose shaking her head. “Trust me, he’s not uncomfortable in any position.”
“How about just castrating him?” I chime in. “You threaten my balls every day.”
“That’s because they’re hanging around my sister,” Rose snaps. I hate that she makes a good point. “And you have full right to threaten my eggs or fallopian tubes. Have at them.”
I grimace. “I’m not going anywhere near your vagina.”
Rose says distantly, “I’m just trying to be fair.”
Lily thinks hard, her brows pinched in this adorable way. “I don’t know, Rose. You may lose this one. I mean…you can’t go home with another guy…” Lily lets that terrible option drift in the air.
And her sister stays completely silent on the matter.
“Rose!” both Lily and I yell.
“I wouldn’t cheat on him,” Rose says. “That’s disgusting. He’s just staring at me right now.” Her voice lowers. “I think he can read my expression.”
“Your bitch face?”
“No,” Rose drags out the word. “…I’m scared.”
I regret my words as soon as I hear her honesty. It doesn’t come often, especially not around me. “Rose,” I say, trying to soften my edged voice. “Sex is a big deal, and you shouldn’t sleep with Connor if you’re afraid.”
“Why are you being nice to me?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. It feels weird.
“Well…I don’t like it.”
I glare at the phone. “Good because it’s not happening again.”
“Thanks,” she says. I can’t tell if it’s for the advice or for my last statement. “He’s walking over here…I’ll call you later ton—”
“Tomorrow,” I force.
“Right,” she says distractedly. And then she hangs up first.
I slide Lily’s flip phone down the counter, to the coffee pot, away from us. “No more sisterly or brotherly interruptions.” I announce this as a f**king rule. Ryke has called three times tonight to ask how I’m doing. I spent last New Year’s Eve in rehab. It’s not like I’m going to grab a bottle of champagne because the day of the year tells me to.
“Do you remember before we were together?” Lily asks as I unbutton her jeans.
I freeze. “You mean when I was piss drunk?”
“No, I mean…yes, but that’s not what I meant.” Her skin blotches with dark red patches.
I lace my hand with hers. “I’m listening.”
Her shoulders rise with confidence as she speaks. “You used to do this with me all the time,” she says. “Pin me in the kitchen, toy with me…” She smiles at the memories. “I liked it, even when we weren’t together. But this is rare now.” Her eyes dance around our bodies. “I just wondered if you’re afraid of teasing me.”
I lift her chin so her gaze meets mine. “If I was afraid, I wouldn’t be doing it tonight.”
“But we’re going to have sex,” she says.
“Yeah?” I frown, not understanding what she’s getting at.
“So you won’t flirt with me unless we can have sex. Because you’re afraid of me.”
I glare. “Can you stop saying that? I’m not f**king scared of you, Lil.”
“Then you’re afraid of enabling me.”
I shake my head. All I’ve wanted is to be with her completely, fully, without compromise. But maybe there’s a signal in my brain that says: Don’t touch her like that. Don’t make her hornier than she is. Don’t tempt her. Not unless she can have something more afterwards. “Can you handle me?” I ask lowly.
“I want to start trying,” she says, her chest elevating at the proclamation. “I want to have everything we had without all the bad.”
I’ve never been more in love with her. “I’m going to trust you to stop on your own then.”
She nods repeatedly. “I will. I can. I know I can.”
“Yeah?”
She smiles. I kiss her deeply, her body pulling towards mine with the embrace, and I pin our clasped hand to the cupboard above her head.
As she catches her breath, my forehead rests against hers. Softly, I whisper, “I believe in you, love.” This is a goal I’ve never heard her make. It’s one I’ll entertain and help her reach.