I kissed her on the back of the head and muttered a soft “thank you.” What else was there to say? What she had given me felt like a gift.
She breathed out and my heart kicked hard when she gently put her hand over the top of mine where it was possessively curled around one of her breasts.
“Tell Hyde, Zeb. You’re going to be an amazing father and he deserves every minute of that.”
We were both quiet after that and eventually I felt her go lax and knew she was asleep. All I could think while I held her was that there was no falling in love with this woman, there was only being in love with her. She had owned me from the very start; now I just needed her to take possession and keep me forever.
“YOU ARE SUCH a coward.” I threw a handful of the little pellets I bought Hyde to feed the giraffes with at Beryl and laughed when she smacked my arm in retaliation. Fall was rushing headlong into the colder winter weather, so I had a heavy canvas coat on over my shirt and barely felt the blow.
“I’m not the one with the secret boyfriend that’s too afraid to introduce him to the family.” I watched as Joss took Hyde’s hand and practically dragged him across the walkway toward where the wolf enclosure was. It wasn’t the first time my niece had been to the big city zoo in the center of City Park, but it was Hyde’s. His little face was alight with wonder and he couldn’t seem to take it all in as Joss delighted in showing him all her favorite animals. Both the kids were bundled up, and even though he was five years younger than her, Hyde was almost as tall as my energetic niece. He really did take right after me.
Beryl snorted and tapped her fingers on the white Starbucks cup she clutched in her hands. “Wes actually really wants to meet you and Mom. He sort of gave me an ultimatum the other day.”
I lifted an eyebrow at her and chuckled as Hyde pressed his nose against the glass so he could get a better look at the animals. Everything he did tugged at my heart and made me even more anxious about what his reaction was going to be when I told him the truth.
“What kind of ultimatum?”
“He told me that he wasn’t going to be a dirty secret anymore, that if he was going to be part of my life, he deserved the chance to know the other people that love me as much as he did. I sort of freaked out and told him it was over.”
I sighed and cut her a sideways look. “You didn’t really?”
She nodded and looked up at me. “I did.” She sniffed a little and I reached out to put an arm around her shoulders.
“I’m sorry. I know you liked him.”
She laughed and shook her head.
“I love him. I was going to call and tell him that I made a mistake and ask him to forgive me when Mom called and said she couldn’t wait for brunch on Sunday and that she was so excited to finally meet Wes. The stubborn bastard called her and ratted me out and outmaneuvered me. He worked around all my fears and got himself exactly where he wanted to be.”
I had to admire the man’s persistence. “Well, I can’t wait to meet him, then.”
She nudged me in the ribs with her elbow. “It’s the same Sunday you’re bringing Hyde to meet Mom, so hopefully she’ll be distracted by his adorable face and not embarrass me too much.”
I wiggled my eyebrows at her. “Don’t worry, sis, I can embarrass you enough for the both of us.” My mother had been chomping at the bit to get her hands on the little guy, but I still wasn’t a hundred percent sure how to describe all the new adults that were going to be a part of his life to him. I kind of wanted to wait until he knew I was his dad before I broke the news that he also had a grandma who was dying to smother him in love and affection. Holding her off while I made sure Hyde was ready had been a Herculean feat.
This time her nudge almost knocked me over, so I let her go and she pointed toward the kids with her cup.
“He loves you already. He’ll be fine when you tell him. You didn’t need to call me and Joss in for backup, though I’m so happy we finally got to meet him. Joss is obsessed with having a cousin now. If you don’t tell him he’s ours forever, she will. You know my kid and her mouth.”
“I know . . . it’s just . . .” I trailed off, not sure how to put my fears into words without sounding like the coward she had accused me of being.
“It’s just that you want him to like you, and you want him to still be your little buddy, but, Zeb . . .” Her tone got stern in that older sister way that meant I better listen to what she had to say. “As a parent, there are times when he’s not going to like you very much at all. So you better get used to it now. It’s your job to do what’s right for him, not what’s easy.”
I lifted a hand to rub it across my beard and moved to tuck my hands in my pockets. “I know. Sayer keeps telling me pretty much the same thing.”
That brought Beryl to a halt as the kids skipped ahead of us to go look at some mountain goats.
“How are things going with the lady lawyer? I didn’t realize you were seeing her outside of the courtroom—officially anyways.”
I shrugged. “She’s making me work around her.” I looked at her out of the side of my eyes. “Sound familiar?”
She blushed a little and pushed some of her dark hair out of her face, and the nippy wind suddenly kicked up. I felt it sting my ears and frowned at Hyde. He needed to put a hat on if we were going to be out in the cold much longer.
“Have you talked to her about it? Why she makes you work around her? I told Wes about Joss’s father, about what happened with you and how it changed me, how it changed my relationship with all men, and I think that’s part of the reason he refused to give up. I also told him about our dad leaving. I never really thought it mattered, but the older I get the more I wonder if that’s part of the reason I fell for the first guy that told me he loved me even though he smacked me across the face five minutes after saying it.”