“I’m moving into your home and not even able to pay you rent. Or repay you for buying a mattress. Also I’m shorter than you, so I’ll fit better. On the sofa, I mean. And it’s only for a week. I’m not forcing you out of your own bed—”
“All right, all right.” He held up a hand. “But if you get uncomfortable, or lonely…” He winked. “My offer stands.”
With that proposition, the world righted itself.
• • • • • • • • • •
The cowardly side of me wished Mama would be out when I got home. I could leave a note and my car keys on the kitchen counter, park my car in its garage spot, and climb into Boyce’s car, avoiding the confrontation altogether.
But it was Monday afternoon—she’d be home planning the week’s meals and supervising the weekly housekeeping service, and Thomas would be at the surgery center seeing new and prospective patients. If I’d wanted to avoid them both, I’d have waited until Friday, when she did volunteer work and he took the boat out all day. And I couldn’t leave without a face-to-face explanation, as much as I dreaded it.
I’d focused on how she would respond to my failure to fall in line with her stipulations for continuing to receive their financial support. I hadn’t given much thought to what her reaction might be to where and to whom I was turning—to Boyce. She had no more idea of our relationship than anyone else did. But seeing his Trans Am in the driveway—watching me leave with him after I let her know I couldn’t yield to her ultimatum? It wasn’t hard to imagine exactly what she would think.
Freshman year of college, she’d been none too thrilled when I told her I needed an appointment to get birth control. Thomas talked her off the ledge by pointing out the maturity and responsibility it had taken to make that request. Even so, when Mitchell visited last summer, she’d put him in a guest bedroom downstairs, though we’d been exclusive since the beginning of junior year. Mama and I didn’t really discuss sex. I knew she’d rather I wasn’t sexually active, though I think she was glad I was sensible about it. She’d known me all my life, though—what else would I be?
I knew where her need to disregard that I had a sex life originated—my unplanned existence. She’d never once made me feel unwanted, but I knew the story and connected the dots. If it weren’t for me, she and my father would have had time to plan a safer passage from Mexico. He might have lived.
I pulled into the wide driveway at the edge of the cul-de-sac, and Boyce pulled in behind me. “I don’t think this will take long,” I said, walking up to his open window.
“I’ll come in with you.”
“It’s better if I go in alone. I want her to concentrate on what I’m saying, not who’s with me. If you come in…” I shook my head. “I just need her to know it’s my decision.”
His jaw tensed. “Okay. But if you need me, call or text or yell and I’m there.”
I nodded. “I’ll be fine.” My stomach lurched when I glanced toward the house. “If you’re one of those guys who freaks out around tears, though, you might wanna get prepared. I hate disappointing people I love. I might cry.” My eyes filled just verbalizing the possibility, and he looked like I’d just told him he might need a big injection in a highly unpleasant location.
As I turned, he caught my wrist. “Pearl—I can’t imagine anyone ever being disappointed in you.”
When I walked into the kitchen, Mama had finished putting away the fresh food and was organizing pantry items and fussing at Tux, who issued piteous meows while circling her ankles, begging for a snack. I picked up an empty grocery bag and folded it, gathering my courage.
“Did you process the withdrawal?” she asked when she saw me.
“I’m not withdrawing, Mama. I’m not going to Michigan.” She froze and I pressed on. “I understand your requirements for living here, and I just… can’t. I’m sorry to disappoint you and Thomas, but this is my life. I have to do what’s right for me. So I’m moving in with a friend for the rest of the summer—Boyce Wynn? He has an extra room and he’s close to campus.”
I hadn’t ever known my mother to be speechless. Without waiting for her to emerge from her stupor, I left my house and car keys and my credit card on the counter next to a package of brown rice and a small bag of cat treats. I hugged her stiff shoulders and walked back outside as quickly as I could manage while blinded by tears. Boyce didn’t say a word when I curled into the seat, sobbing, but he reached over and took my hand as we pulled onto the road.
Chapter Fifteen
Boyce
Damn. I’d only seen Pearl cry once—right after I took her virginity like some ignorant assclown who didn’t know jackshit about how to make sex satisfying for a girl. I was mad at her for not telling me—until she said she’d thought maybe I wouldn’t have gone through with it if I’d known. She couldn’t have been more off target with that assumption. I’d all but wanted to plant a flag that said FIRST on one side and MINE on the other.
I was a goddamn idiot at eighteen.
“You gonna be okay?” I asked her once we were back home. “I was planning go out to the garage and get some work done. I’ve got a brake job to finish up and a transmission that’s— Well, I reckon you don’t need the particulars…”
“I’m okay.” The words scratched their way out of her throat.