“Fine,” he said. “We’ll do ‘Killer.’ It’s not that difficult…you should be able to play it well enough.”
I bounced up and down on my toes. I was so excited. I might have Chelsey film the song, then leak it so the fans could get a taste of what a real D-Bags show should sound like. Matt handed me his guitar and I fumbled a little as I looped it around me. My fingers were shaking I was so giddy. I’d need to calm down, or else I wouldn’t be able to play. As I handed Matt my instrument, I tried to remember the song. I knew it backward and forward on bass, but it was far more complicated on lead. I was sure it would kick in once we started though.
My family looked confused, since they’d thought we were done, and I let them know the show was just beginning. “We’re gonna play one more, but Matt and I are switching so you can hear me on lead.” I looked over at Kellan and Evan. They had their eyebrows raised, but they seemed fine about letting me do this. “Killer,” I told them, so they’d know what song to play.
Evan nodded, then started tapping out the intro. I flexed my hands, letting the blood recirculate, since it felt like they’d gummed up at the wrists. Evan’s pounding drums started in, busting out a heavy beat for us all to follow. Matt and Evan looked at me expectantly, like they were waiting for me to do something. I couldn’t remember how Matt’s part began though, which was weird. I’d heard it so many goddamn times, it should be second nature, but now that it was time to play it, my mind was a blank wasteland.
With a shake of his head, Matt started in on the bass line. That’s when everything fell into place for me. Letting out a small “oh yeah,” I started in on guitar.
It took me a minute to get the hang of playing it, and even then I hit a few wrong chords. Taking a peek, I couldn’t tell if anyone noticed. I didn’t think so. Kellan joined in when his part began. It sounded weird to me, and I couldn’t figure out why, until I realized I was trying to play the bass line during a spot when Matt was typically silent. Oops. Cursing, I stilled my fingers, and waited for the guitar’s reentry. Was it after the second line or the third? Fuck, I wasn’t sure. It was so much easier to pretend to play the song than to actually play it. I made a guess that it was after the second line, and hoped for the best. Kellan and Matt both shot me irritated looks. Oops, guess the guitar came back in on the third line. Well, what the fuck? Who composed this shit? The guitar should be blaring full force the entire song. Kellan should have to shout to be heard above it.
As I glanced up at my family, I saw Liam grimacing, Chelsey flinching, and both Mom and Dad wearing strained smiles on their faces. Heat blossomed on my cheeks, and I nearly stopped playing so I could chill my face with an ice-cold beer bottle. I could do that on bass, but not on lead. I had to keep going through the discomfort.
There were a few more notes that sounded wrong to my ears, and I cursed my bandmates with each twang. If they’d let me play more often, it wouldn’t sound so awkward now. I’d be fluent, effortless. Once again, they were holding me back.
Just as I was about to toss the instrument away in disgust, the door opened, and outside sounds filtered into the room. Kellan, Matt, and Evan kept playing and singing, but the new, odd element to the room distracted me, and I stopped playing. Matt groaned and tossed his hands into the air. Evan frowned and Kellan shook his head.
“Griffin, you have to keep going through the distractions. It’s called the lead for a reason.”
I looked over at Matt, but I didn’t have a response suitable enough for the strange feeling ripping through my body. It was almost…shame or embarrassment, but that was ridiculous. I didn’t feel those things, so I settled on anger instead. If the guys weren’t such jackasses, I’d be better at this. Just when I was about to tell Matt as much, Kiera strode onto the “stage.”
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said, a little breathless. Her eyes, a slightly browner shade of green than Anna’s, locked on mine. “But I’m pretty sure Anna is in labor. Real labor. I think the baby is coming today.”
Unstrapping the guitar, a different sort of emotion flooded through me—excitement and anxiety. A new baby! Today! Shit! We were in the middle of nowhere, we needed to get back to civilization…now!
I set the guitar back on the rack, but I lined it up wrong and it fell off. Goddammit, I didn’t have time for this shit right now! Managing to catch the guitar before it smacked against the floor, I tried putting it back on the rack. Matt came over and helped me. I offered him a thanks before hurrying away, or at least I tried to scurry off; he had grabbed my wrist and was holding me there. I was so riled up I almost shoved him away from me, but I managed to control myself enough to say, “Back off, dude, I’ve gotta go.” Kiera was leaving the room with my family, and I needed to go with them. Anna was probably in a good dose of pain. She needed me.
“What was that?” he asked, clearly perturbed by my playing. Kellan and Evan stepped closer and I nearly groaned at all of them. Couldn’t this wait?
“What? I was a little rusty, that’s all.” I tried to move past him, but he put his hand on my chest to stop me.
“You said you knew the songs as well as me, but you were clueless, Griffin. You had no idea what you were playing.”
Familiar irritation pushed back the rush of endorphins I’d been feeling. “I’ve seen you play them enough times that I feel like I—”
Matt cut me off. “You’ve seen me play? But you don’t actually know the songs…And you thought that would be enough to take over for me? See…that’s just another reason why it won’t ever happen, Griffin. You don’t get that this isn’t a game.”