Kellan sighed, so I figured he knew about the incident with Matt at the bar. “No. I’m here to say goodbye. Regardless of…recent events…you’re family, and I can’t let you leave without a send-off.”
I didn’t want to be moved by the fact that Kellan gave a shit, but I was. He extended his hand to me. I hesitated, but eventually took it. His grin under his ball cap had the lingering fans sighing like he’d just asked them to marry him. “Good luck, Griffin. I mean that.”
Nodding, I pumped his hand a few more times, then let go. “Thanks.” I felt like I should add some sappy shit about how I appreciated his encouragement, but the words wouldn’t come out. All I kept hearing in my mind was Not tonight, maybe tomorrow. Well, tomorrow was today.
I had to peel Anna away from Kiera. She had tears in her eyes when she said her final goodbye to her sister. “I’ll call you when I land,” she told her as their fingers finally separated.
“You better,” Kiera said, wiping her eyes.
Even though I didn’t get why this moment was getting so unnecessarily dramatic, I found it hard to swallow; it was like my throat was superglued shut. I started herding my wife toward check-in, then stopped and looked back at Kellan. “Hey, Kell,” I called out. Even though he was wearing dark sunglasses, I could tell his eyes were locked on mine. “Tell…” Tell Matt and Evan I’m sorry. My mouth wouldn’t form those words though. “Thanks for seeing us off.”
Kellan nodded, then held his hand up in a wave. With nothing more to say, I turned my back on him, and Seattle.
Chapter 12
Let the Awesomeness Begin
Anna was near silent on the plane. Holding Onnika in her lap, she stared out the windows like the endless sea of clouds was some all-encompassing book that she couldn’t put down.
I told her that my parents were picking us up from the airport, but all I got was a nod in response. Even the flight attendant didn’t get a verbal answer when she asked Anna if she needed anything. Just a shake of her head while she stared out the window. Whatever funk she’d slipped into, it was so unlike her. It scared me some that she wasn’t snapping out of this. I missed my spunky, carefree wife who didn’t bat an eye at all my outlandish antics. Her ability to accept all my craziness was one of the main reasons we worked so well. If she lost that ability now, I wasn’t sure what that might mean for us. God, I hoped my old Anna returned soon. I needed someone to bounce my excitement off of. I needed her to be stoked about this.
When the plane touched down in L.A., I was rearing to go. I was tired of this tiny, cramped cabin. Tired of my tiny, cramped life. I wanted to explode out into the world. See my name forty feet high. See the crowds losing their shit at just a glimpse of me. See the judgey critics speechless, because my awesomeness was impossible to portray in mere words. As the world was soon to find out, nothing in the English language could properly summarize me. I was ready for the solo spotlight. I’d been ready my entire life.
While I watched luggage landing on the rotating belt, I wondered if I could still call myself a D-Bag. I’d been one for so long, it was odd to think of myself as anything else. But Denny was disavowing me, so technically…I was an ex-D-Bag. That thought darkened my mood a bit; it wasn’t all that long ago when the band had been everything to me. But they hadn’t felt the same, obviously, and now I was a reformed D-Bag. Nah, I’ll always be a douche.
My inner joke perked my mood back up, and a laugh escaped me. Anna flashed a glance my way; the lingering sadness in her eyes momentarily shifted to prickly anger. Even though I was happy to see any sort of mood change from her, I had to know what had sparked it. “What?” Thinking maybe she wasn’t happy about our temporary arrangement, I told her, “Are you ticked we’re staying with my parents? It’s temporary, babe. Soon as we’re settled, we’ll start looking for a place. Promise.”
She looked away, and the brief spark of angry life left her. Damn it. I really had no idea how to deal with sullen women; I had zero experience. If a chick turned moody, I checked out. But I didn’t want to do that with Anna. She was my dream girl.
Once we had our bags, we met my dad outside. He looked haggard when we all piled into the minivan. “Something up, Pops?” I asked.
With a glance at me, he sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Let’s just say, the house is kind of…busy right now. This may be the most peace and quiet I’ve had in a while. God, I’ve missed being able to hear myself think.”
I looked around the crowded airport, cars coming and going, people shouting, hustling, and scrambling to get somewhere else. This was peaceful? Anna sighed after Dad’s statement. Tossing my arm around her shoulder, I gave her as encouraging a statement as I could. “It’s my family…how bad could it possibly be?”
Her blank expression clearly told me just how epically awful she was sure it was going to be. It also said that if I ever wanted to get laid again, I should start looking for a place as soon as possible. I started scrolling through the classifieds in the van.
As the airport became indiscernible in the rearview mirror, I thought over the complete and total lack of a fan freak-out there. No one had asked for an autograph, no one had screamed, no one had bitched about me leaving the band. No one had even recognized me. What the hell? Wondering if my parents had heard the news about the band, I asked Dad, “So…did you see me on Live with Johnny?” That puffed-up cocksucker.
Dad frowned. “No…I must have missed it. What night were you on?”