‘Nope. And you know why.’
‘You want me to transfer to the best music programme I can get into, without regard to where you’ll be,’ she recited, her tone an audible eye roll. ‘But … I can’t stand the thought that in six months – five months – we could be on opposite sides of the country from each other.’
I had no intention of putting distance between us for the next two years – but I wouldn’t tell her my plan until I’d pulled it off. There was too much luck involved, and I didn’t want her to be disappointed. I traced her hairline from her temple to the corner of her jaw and cupped her face in my hand. ‘You aren’t going to lose me. But I’m not doing to you what he did. You have dreams, and I want you to follow them. I need you to follow them. Because …’ I took a breath. ‘I love you, Jacqueline Wallace.’
She swallowed, her eyes filling with tears. ‘I love you, Landon Lucas Maxfield.’
My heart swelled and I leaned over her, kissing her, loving her, claiming her. In her formal words, I heard the echo of my future – a future I was so sure of that no distance would have daunted me: I take thee, Landon Lucas Maxfield …
Luck could be earned and created. It could be discovered. It could be regained. After all – I’d found this girl. I’d found my future. I’d found forgiveness. My mother would have been happy for me. For the first time in a very long time, I didn’t feel guilty about that.
Epilogue
Jacqueline was invited to transfer into three of the five music programmes she’d applied for, but when she got Oberlin’s letter of acceptance, none of the others mattered. Ten seconds after signing into her email, she shot off my sofa, squealing and sending Francis right under the bed. Once I was certain she was extreme happiness squealing and not I see a spider the size of my hand squealing, I opened my arms and she jumped into them.
‘Congratulations, baby,’ I murmured against her lips, loving how blissed out she was.
She texted Erin. She called her parents. She emailed her high-school orchestra director.
And then she calculated how far apart we would be when she moved, if I remained here. Two engineering firms in town were actively pursuing me, and I was considering them seriously. I’d nailed a second interview for an amazing position with one that specialized in semiconductor robotics – a design job so cool I couldn’t have even imagined it four years ago, when all my energies were focused on getting into college at all.
I took her out to celebrate and refused to discuss the miles and hours and years ahead. ‘Not tonight,’ I repeated, until she relented. If we had to be long distance for two years, then that’s what we’d do. But Jacqueline’s admittance into Oberlin had given me a new goal.
Back in December, I had dinner with Joseph, Elliott and Elliott’s little sister, Reni, who was visiting from Cleveland, where she was a third-year med-school student at Case Western. Their transparent attempts at playing matchmaker went down in flames, but they set the two of us up in a different respect. Fascinated with the details of the research project I’d be part of for the next five months, Reni told me about one of her mentors, whose field of research was bioengineering.
When I emailed her about possible job leads, she passed my résumé to that professor. He was one of the three founders of a small bioengineering start-up in Cleveland. One of the others knew Dr Aziz, and she’d spotted his name in my list of references. A week later, I got a call and a request to apply.
Luck had started the ball rolling. The rest was up to me.
‘Why won’t you tell me where you’re going for this interview, at least?’ For forty-five minutes, Jacqueline had been trying to cajole clues out of me during commercial breaks in the zombie drama we were watching. ‘Aren’t we supposed to tell each other everything?’ Her honeyed tone and earnest secret-discovering expression – wide blue eyes staring up into mine – almost made me cave. She was too good at this.
‘Nice try,’ I smirked, and she scowled.
‘I’ll just ask Cindy.’
‘Which is why I didn’t tell her, either.’
She stamped her foot at that, which made me laugh until she pressed me into the corner of my sofa and said, ‘I love it when you laugh. You’re so pretty.’ She wound her arms round my neck and clutched at my hair, pulling me closer for a kiss.
I shook my head and traced her lips with my tongue before diving inside. Settling in to kiss her senseless, I whispered, ‘Flattery will get you nowhere … but please, please keep trying.’
My graduation party was a cookout in the Hellers’ backyard. After not leaving home for over eight years, Dad took three days off to attend the ceremony. His appearance was also a show of faith in his best friends. Watching the three of them together, I hoped this weekend was the beginning of a new habit for him.
I hadn’t told anyone my future plans yet, though Charles, Cindy and Dad knew about the offers I’d had, and they’d exchanged knowing looks at breakfast this morning, when I told them I’d made my choice. I had one person to tell, though, before I let them in on my final decision, and that person was standing in my kitchen, packing barbecue leftovers into the fridge.
‘I accepted a job on Friday,’ I said, and she barely responded. I wondered what was going through her mind until she finally looked up, unable to rearrange the little containers any further. My brave girl was barely holding back tears.
I led her to the sofa and pulled her into my arms. ‘It’s a start-up – less than ten employees right now. The founders are cardiology researchers developing non-invasive ways of mapping electrocardiographic activity, to help with diagnosis and treatment of heart disorders. They also want to develop better invasive devices – and they wanted someone with a basic knowledge of durable soft materials.’