“He didn’t come back?” I asked, my gut tangled in knots.
“The headline was, um…” He narrowed his eyes, tracking back into his memory. “Paul Turner, father of two, dies in a horrific car accident on the corner of Jefferson Avenue and Pine Street.”
The guilt and blame was strong in Ryan’s words. His fingers lifted the invisible cigarette and he rested it between his lips.
“It wasn’t your fault, Ryan.”
He held his fingers up and stared at them. “The cigarette box is a reminder of why my secret is a secret. All it does is hurt people. I take the box everywhere I go.”
Our conversation came to a halt when Hailey came over in a hurry. She slammed her tray down on the table. “Sorry I’m late.”
I looked up, saw Theo walking into the lunchroom, and gagged. I still hated him.
“We’re back on.” Hailey smiled brightly. “I apologized for being a controlling girlfriend, and he said our spirits could still travel together.”
“You apologized?!” I whined, perplexed.
“You don’t understand, Ashlyn. I love him.”
Love? I was starting to wonder what that word meant. It seemed that people tossed it around to everyone nowadays. Myself included.
Ryan ignored his sister, not pleased with her choices. I had to admit that I was a bit disappointed, too.
He turned back to me. “It was Jake, wasn’t it? Did Jake give you that hickey?” I blushed.
“No.”
“But he wants to give you a hickey?”
“Yes.”
“And…the boy who did give it to you is…”
I frowned. “No longer in the picture.”
Chapter 22
Lost.
~ Romeo’s Quest
I sat on the edge of the dock, watching the sun shine down on the lake. I felt defeated, tired, drained. It seemed that every time a moment of happiness appeared, the shadows came back to shallow it up. Life wasn’t fair, and I felt like a dumbass for thinking that it should be. But I wanted it to be. I needed life to be fair, just for a little while. Because I needed her.
Ashlyn was the only thing that fought away the darkness.
The footsteps heard behind me were heavy. I knew it was him before he even spoke. I was the one who’d called him and told him to meet me here.
“It feels weird being back here.” I turned to see Jace walking my way. His hands were stuffed in his pockets. He walked over and sat next to me. “I haven’t been back since Mom…” His words faded. He placed his fingers in the water, creating ripples from his touch. He infected the water without even knowing it. Because that’s what Jace did—destroyed things, people. He never tried to, but he always did. “I saw Randy inside. He’s living here, too?” I didn’t reply. “He said you guys are at Joe’s bar performing twice a month?”
Coughing, I cleared my throat. “What are you doing here? What do you want?” I asked, feeling my body start to heat up from his arrival. Whenever Jace came around, doom wasn’t too far away.
He turned my way, wiping his wet hands across his jeans. His eyes were perplexed by my question. “I’m back to find out who killed Mom, Danny. And I’m a little shocked that you haven’t tried to do any damn thing about it after you had me locked up!”
My voice rose rapidly. “I had you locked up—” I sighed and took a breath. I’d played our reunion over and over again in my head for months. I had hoped he would have figured out why I’d had him put away, why I’d had no other choice. “I had you locked up because you would’ve been next, Jace. You would have come up with some stupid-ass revenge plan and gotten yourself killed.”
“I’m not stupid,” he hissed. “I could’ve handled—”
“You could’ve handled what?! Tracking down the ass**le who killed Mom right over there?!” The palms of my hands pushed into the side of the dock, and I leaped up. Jace stood up almost faster than I did. “Maybe you could have pissed off some more f**king thugs and had them kill Dad and me before they ripped you apart, too!”
“Fuck you, Danny! You locked me up. You ratted me out. I’m your brother!” he screamed. I could see the resentment in his eyes, his fingers curled into fists.
“You’re my kid brother!” I shouted louder, tossing my hands up in irritation. “You’re my kid brother. I’m going to tell you once, Jace. Don’t do this. Don’t go digging back into this mess.” My eyes went to him and I crossed my arms. “I already buried Mom and Dad. Don’t make me pick out another damn plot in the cemetery.”
“I wasn’t even there…to bury my own parents.” He sniffed and ran his finger under it. His hands landed against his waist. “Red trusts me again.”
“Jace—”
“No. It’s good. I had a chance to rat him and his guys out when I went in, but I didn’t. I kept my damn mouth shut, and Red… He trusts me. He’s letting me back in.”
“Don’t you think it’s a little weird how forgiving he’s being to you?”
Jace shrugged. “I didn’t rat his guys out when I was locked up. It’s called loyalty. Something you wouldn’t know about.”
I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my wallet. “Look, Jace…I have two hundred bucks on me. We can go to the bank and I can take out more.” I held the money out toward him. “You can go stay with Grandma down in Chicago for a while. Clear your head.”