“All things in moderation? What’s happening to you? No weed, going to church on Sundays. Listen, dude, we were born to be jungle children. We were born to roam the wild in loincloths bearing blow guns and knives. Now look at you. Next thing I know I’ll be calling you Deacon Ricky. You’ll be preaching me the fire and brimstone. And I’ll say, ‘I used to know that dude when he thought religion was out to turn us all into zombies.’”
He shakes his head. “Dude, what do I need a blowgun for? What am I going to do, fell myself a burger at Mickey D’s? Anyway, I’m just going to church because that’s what she does.”
“Can we say hypocrite, boys and girls?”
“Screw you, Sutter. I’m not a hypocrite.”
I’m not letting him off the hook that easy, though. “Yeah, it’s Dawn of the Dead all over again, starring Ricky the zombie, stumbling through the mall. That guy getting off the escalator over there is going to be you, wearing sandals and socks and a fanny pack, leading his kid around on a leash.”
Ricky gets a chuckle out of that even though it’s aimed at him. “Dude,” he says. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. For one thing, I don’t have anything against religion. It’s not like I don’t believe in some kind of God. It’s just the holier-than-thou crap that rankles me. Besides, I’m not looking to get saved. I’m only going with her because it’s what you do when you’re in a relationship. You know? You slide into the third pew from the front and sit there thinking about how desperate all these people are to feel like something loves them. They’ll believe all kinds of hocus-pocus. But your girlfriend likes it, and you like her, so you do it. It’s called compromise. The only way you’re going to get something to last in this world is to work at it.”
“Right. And then it’ll last for ever and ever.” I’m all sarcastic and everything. “But aren’t you the dude with the theory on built-in obsolescence?”
“That doesn’t mean I have to just give up. That’s not how relationships work.”
“Listen to you. You’ve had one girlfriend for two weeks, and all of a sudden you’re the Guru of Love.”
“Well, at least I’ve got a girlfriend.”
I sink back in my seat. “That was a low blow.”
“Sorry, but, you know, if you want Cassidy back, you need to change some things, dude.”
“A lot you know.” I tell him about Cassidy’s e-mail and our little chat at the party last night. “It’s obvious, isn’t it? She’s jonesing for the Sutterman.”
“Is that right? Well, how come we just happened to see Shannon Williams at church and she said Cassidy left with Marcus, and she saw you walking off into the woods with some girl in a giant purple coat, who I assume was Aimee Finecky?”
“Hey, it doesn’t matter who Cassidy left with last night. All that matters is who she winds up with, and by the end of next week, you can bet it’ll be me.”
“And you’re using Aimee Finecky just to make her jealous, is that it?”
“No, that’s not it. I explained the whole Aimee thing to you already.”
“Oh, right, you’re rescuing her from the abyss. But, dude, let me ask you this—what happens when she falls in love with you?”
“Love?” I take a hit off my latte. It’s a little bitter. “Believe me, dude, no way is that girl going to fall in love with a guy like me.”
Chapter 35
At school the next couple of days, it’s not like I’m dodging Aimee. I’m just not going out of my way to run into her. After all, we don’t have any of the same classes or anything. Cassidy, on the other hand, I just happen to run into a bunch—in the parking lot, on the front steps, outside the girls’ bathroom. Only a couple of times is she with Marcus, so we’re able to get some good conversation in, a few laughs, a little touchy-touchy on the arm, the back, that kind of thing.
By Thursday, we’re completely comfortable in each other’s space again. We’re practically intimate. “So,” she says, “do you have to work this afternoon?”
“No, Bob cut me back to three days a week.”
“Are you still grounded?”
“I guess not. Mom and Geech really don’t have the interest to keep track of something like that for very long.”
“Good, because I need to go shopping and could use some company. You want to come with?”
“Maybe if you twist my arm.”
She grabs hold of my wrist—tight—and I’m like, “Uncle, uncle, okay, I give.”
“Pick me up at two,” she says. “Don’t be late.”
All right, so I’m going to follow Ricky’s advice, at least a little bit. He says I have to make some changes to get Cassidy back, so I will. I pledge to myself that I’ll be on time to pick her up, and what do you know? I am.
She’s looking very hot. White cable-knit sweater, blue jeans, boots, gold hoop earrings. The girl knows how to put herself together without seeming like she went to any effort at all. We hit several stores—Old Navy, the Gap, a local place called Lola Wong’s—but they don’t have the certain kind of pants she wants for her friend Kendra’s birthday present.
I have to admit, in the past, when I went to stores with Cassidy, about half the time I’d end up waiting in the car. I mean, I don’t understand the female fascination with shopping. For me, I just want to go in, buy what I want, and get out. This isn’t how girls operate at all. It’s like a police investigation with them. No piece of evidence can go without thorough inspection. They might as well pack along a forensics kit.