That’s all Tara needs to hear. “Well, don’t just stand there. Open me a beer.”
I give her one and don’t even need to figure out a way to finagle Bethany into the back with Ricky. Tara heads straight to the passenger seat so that there’s nothing to do but for Ricky and Bethany to get in back. Now, you might think Cassidy would have a problem with this seating arrangement if she happened to get a look at it, but she’s at the movies with her girlfriends tonight, and besides this is all about hooking Ricky up with Bethany.
“Full speed ahead,” I say as I crank the ignition. “And damn the potatoes.”
Chapter 7
Bricktown is the entertainment district in Oklahoma City. It gets its name from all the brick buildings and even brick streets. It used to be a warehouse district or something. Now they have bars and restaurants, concert halls and arenas, coffee shops, a multiplex, and a ballpark. You can also take boat rides on a canal that runs between two long rows of buildings like a river at the bottom of a canyon. The boat rides aren’t real exciting, but girls think they’re romantic. All I have to do is figure out a way to get Ricky and Bethany on a boat together while I steer Tara off somewhere else.
I make sure to keep the girls in beer while we drive over and then cruise up and down past the bars and restaurants. At first, Ricky’s kind of quiet. He’s one of those people that might seem shy at first, but once you get to know him, he’s hilarious. He’s absolutely kick-ass at doing impersonations—movie stars, teachers, other kids at school. Once I get him started on doing some, the girls eat it up. He does a dead-on Denver Quigley that gets Bethany laughing so hard it looks like her face might fall off.
“Hey, let’s go on the boat rides,” I say, like it just occurred to me. I don’t have to say it twice either. The girls are all over it.
After finding a parking spot about a million miles away from the canal, we hike over, goofing on people and just in general laughing our way down the street. When we get to where the boat rides start, I tell Ricky to buy a couple of tickets, one for him and one for Bethany, but when I step up to the window, I’m like, “Wait a minute. I left my wallet in the car.”
Stupid Ricky volunteers to lend me some money, but I’m, “No, dude. You two go ahead. I don’t like the idea of my wallet sitting in the car in a dark parking lot. We’ll meet back here in thirty minutes.”
He gives me this suspicious look, but it’s too late now. The boat’s getting ready to shove off. Bethany wants Tara to come along, but I grab Tara’s arm and say, “No you don’t. I’m not walking all the way back over there by myself.”
We give them the bon voyage as the boat starts off, and they do look good together, even though she’s about three inches taller than he is. After they’re gone, I volunteer to buy Tara some ice cream, and she’s like, “I thought you forgot your wallet,” and I go, “I just remembered I have it in my other pocket.”
She looks at me and grins. “You’re evil.”
“I’m not evil. I’m Cupid. They make a cute couple, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” she says. “I do.”
On the way to get ice cream, we change our minds and decide to go to a bar instead. After trying about four places and getting rejected, I figure there’s nothing to do but go back to the car, get a couple beers, and drink them over at the Botanical Gardens.
“Is it safe to go there after dark?” Tara asks.
“Hey,” I say. “You’re with me.”
I load four beers into a plastic bag, and off to the gardens we go. It’s beautiful out. Light-jacket weather. The city lights are shining down on us, and the weight of the beer feels very satisfying, like a promise of plenty.
The only thing about being down here in the evening is you’re always likely to run into a panhandler, and of course we do. Tara grabs my arm and stands a little behind me, but there’s nothing scary about this guy. He’s got the typical faded ball cap, the thrift-store clothes that could stand a good washing, and a face that looks like it’s made out of the leather from an old catcher’s mitt.
I slip him a five and he’s grateful as all hell, tipping his cap and giving me this look like I’m some kind of young lord or something. After he limps away, Tara says she doesn’t think I should’ve given him any money. “He’s just going to buy liquor with it,” she says.
“Good for him.”
“You might as well have just given him a beer.”
“Are you kidding? We only have two apiece here. Let him go buy his own.”
The Botanical Gardens consists of several walking paths that wind around through a bunch of different kinds of trees and plants and cross over little streams and ponds. At one end, you have the Crystal Bridge, which isn’t just a bridge but a big cylindrical greenhouse for the more exotic plants. They even have one of those big stinky plants that only bloom like every three years or something and smell like a rotting corpse. I’ve actually never been in the gardens after dark, but when you’re with a girl, it’s always best to act like you’re an old hand at everything—not to impress her, but just to make sure she feels safe.
So we’re walking along, drinking beer and talking, and she starts in on the deal with her mom and her stepfather, Kerwin.
“Kerwin?” I say. “You mean his name is really Kerwin?”
She’s like, “Can you believe it?”
At first the story’s pretty funny. Kerwin is a real character. For one thing, he’s a big slob, only shaves about twice a week, sits around watching the Food Network in his underwear, peels off his socks and tosses them in the general direction of the bedroom, and farts when her friends walk through the room. He has even been known to eat a TV dinner while taking a dump.