“I do.”
“Mmm, maybe I should give you a quickie. Whet your appetite a little until I can get back.”
“I like the sound of that.”
“Get on the bed,” I commanded.
Deacon’s brows shot up at my authoritative tone. “Excuse me?”
“Just taking the reins, cowboy. I need to top you so I don’t mess my hair up.”
He grinned. “Just don’t forget who’s the real boss around here.”
“Oh, I’m well aware of that one.”
When he flopped back on the bed, I took a shaky step forward. With trembling fingers, I opened the nightstand drawer. Instead of taking out one of the gold foil packets, I grabbed the handcuffs that we’d played with at the Lounge.
Swinging them around my fingers, I winked at him. “Let’s play a little cowboy and bad cop together.”
Deacon’s eyes widened. “What the hell has gotten into you?”
I shrugged. “Just glad to have you back—that’s all. Got a lot of fantasies to enact together.”
“If you say so, babe,” he replied with a chuckle.
“Raise your arms.” He hastily complied by bringing his arms over his head. His hands reached out for the intricately designed rails in the iron bed. It was now or never. Once I handcuffed Deacon, there was no going back with him or with Sigel. Deacon held up a code of loyalty and honesty, and I was breaking that. I wasn’t sure he could ever forgive me for what I was about to do.
I couldn’t help but wonder if I was looking into the eyes of the man I loved with all my heart for the last time with love between us. I was standing on the tracks, staring down a runaway train.
The clasp of the handcuffs echoed around the room. For a moment I kept my hands wrapped around them, unblinking and unmoving. Then I slowly pulled away. I took a step back and then another. Deacon’s brows crinkled. “What are you doing?”
Ignoring him, I grabbed my skirt off the chair and slid it on. When I went for the silky blue blouse with the ruffled front, Deacon asked, “Is this part of the game?”
Tears burned my eyes as I worked frantically to button the blouse. When I was finished, I glanced at him. “I’m sorry.”
“What do you mean? Alex, what the hell is going on?” His tone had turned from amusement to desperation.
“I have to do this, Deacon. It’s the right solution. Really it’s the only solution where you and Willow don’t get hurt.”
“You’re not making any sense.” He jerked at the handcuffs and winced. “Get me out of these.”
I turned away from him to start digging in my suitcase. At the very bottom, I slid aside the lining and stared down at Andy’s cut. With trembling fingers, I took it out. I rose from the floor and then turned back to Deacon. His eyes left mine and drifted down to my hands. With widened eyes, he demanded, “What the fuck are you doing with that?”
“I took it from the war prize closet.”
Deacon sucked in a breath so fast it sounded more like a hiss. “Alexandra, I want you to get me out of these handcuffs right fucking now!” When I gave a slight jerk of my head, he growled. “Don’t you even think for one minute you’re going to go alone!”
“There was something else I left out about my meeting with Sigel—something I didn’t even tell Rev or Bishop.” I drew in a deep breath. “Sigel caused the accident that killed my parents.”
Deacon stared at me in disbelief. “What? How?”
I glanced down at the cut before telling him about how my parents’ love of children had caused their deaths. When I finished, I dared to meet his eyes again. “Besides you and Willow, I now have a stake in this I never imagined. A chance for justice in my parents’ murders.”
“Alexandra, you cannot take a man like Sigel down. You are walking to your death, you stupid, stubborn woman!” Deacon shouted.
Dropping the cut on the chair, I bent down and picked a silk scarf out of the pile of clothes I had tossed out of the suitcase. It was one I had worn to teach in many times. Tonight it would serve another purpose. When I started over to Deacon, he momentarily appeared relieved. He thought I had finally come to my senses. Instead, my trembling hands took the scarf and gagged him. He bucked and fought against me, but somehow I got it tied.
Tears dripped down my cheeks when I finally allowed myself to look at him. “I’m so sorry, but I had to do this. I did it for you, and I did it for us.”
He stared at me with eyes that burned with rage and venom. I didn’t even want to imagine what he would have done to me in that moment if he had gotten free. I had to turn away from him as fast as I could. I couldn’t bear to have him looking at me that way during what might be the last minutes I had with him.
Instead of allowing myself to break down, I swiped the tears from my eyes. I grabbed the cut and shoved it down in my messenger bag. In a moment of vanity, I grabbed my makeup bag as well, so I could repair the damage of my tears. Once I slung the messenger bag over my shoulder, I headed to the door. With my hand hovering over the doorknob, I willed myself not to look back. Instead, I said, “I love you.”
Then I walked out the door.
As soon as I arrived at the school, I was herded into the cafeteria for a presentation by the principal. Facing the massive crowd, I found myself sandwiched between my fellow kindergarten teachers. My legs shook with nerves as I tried to focus on what was being said. In the end, I couldn’t tell you one word my principal spoke. Instead, I kept scanning the parents’ faces, searching for Sigel or anyone from his club. I hated that he had chosen the school for us to do our business. It wasn’t just about the one clean part of my world, my school, getting sullied. It was more about the fact that I feared people getting hurt regardless of Sigel’s promise.