“Call me romantic one more time and I’ll take you right here, right now, Mum or no Mum.”
My eyes widen, and he laughs louder than I think I’ve ever heard him laugh. “I’m joking! You should see your face!” he bellows.
I can’t help but laugh with him.
After we stop, he admits, “I feel like we shouldn’t be laughing after all the stuff that happened today.”
“Maybe that’s why we should be laughing.” This is what we do: we fight, then make up.
“Our relationship is sort of fucked up.” He smiles.
“Yeah . . . just a little.” It has definitely been a roller coaster.
“Not anymore, though, okay? I promise.”
“Okay.” I lean over and give him a quick kiss on the lips.
It isn’t enough, though. It never is. I bring my lips back to his, and this time I let them linger. Both of our lips part at the same time, and he slips his tongue inside my mouth. My hands fist his hair, and he pulls me on top of him as his tongue massages mine. No matter how messed up our relationship has been, there is no denying our all-consuming passion. I start to move my hips, grinding down onto him, and I feel him smile against my lips.
“I think that’s enough for now,” he says.
Nodding, I shift and lay my head on his chest, reveling in the feeling of his arms wrapping around my back. “I hope tomorrow goes well,” I say after a few minutes of silence.
He doesn’t respond. And when I lift up my head, his eyes are closed and his lips are slightly parted in sleep. He must’ve been exhausted. Then again, so am I.
I climb off of him and check the time. It’s past eleven. I pull his jeans off him, gently so not to wake him, then snuggle up next to him. Tomorrow is Christmas, and I can only pray that it goes much better than today.
Chapter forty-five
HARDIN
Hardin.” Tessa’s voice is soft. I groan and pull my arm from under her weight.
I grab the pillow and cover my face with it. “Not getting up yet.”
“We slept late and we have to get ready.” She snatches the pillow from me and tosses it onto the floor.
“Stay in bed with me. Let’s cancel.” I reach for her arm, and she rolls onto her side, molding her body to mine.
“We can’t cancel Christmas.” She laughs as she speaks and presses her lips against my neck. I rock into her, pushing my hips against hers, and she playfully pulls away. “Oh no you don’t.” Her hands push at my chest to keep me from rolling on top of her.
She climbs out of bed, leaving me alone. I have half a mind to follow her into the bathroom—not to do anything to her, just to be near her. Yet the bed is too warm, so I decide against it. I’m still reeling from the fact that she’s still here. Her forgiveness and acceptance of me will never fail to surprise the fuck out of me.
Having her here for Christmas will be different, too. I’ve never really given a shit about holidays like this, but watching Tessa’s face light up over some stupid tree with overpriced ornaments makes the whole thing a little more tolerable. My mum being here isn’t too bad, either. Tessa seems to adore her, and my mum is almost as obsessed with my girl as I am.
My girl. Tessa is my girl again, and I’m spending Christmas with her—and my fucked-up family. What a difference from last year, when I spent Christmas Day wasted out of my mind. A few minutes later I force myself out of bed and find my way to the kitchen. Coffee. I need coffee.
“Merry Christmas,” my mum says when I enter the kitchen.
“Same to you.” I walk past her to the fridge.
“I made coffee,” she says.
“I see that.” I grab the Frosted Flakes from on top of the fridge and walk over to the coffeepot.
“Hardin, I’m sorry for what I said yesterday. I know that I upset you when I agreed with Tessa’s mum, but you have to see where I was coming from.”
The thing is, I do understand where she’s coming from, but it’s not her damn place to tell Tessa to leave me. After everything Tessa and I have been through, we need someone on our side. It feels like it’s only her and me, fighting against everyone, and I need my mum to be on our side.
“It’s just that she belongs with me, Mum, nowhere else. Only with me.” I grab a towel to wipe up the excess coffee spilling over my mug. The brown liquid stains the white towel, and I can almost hear Tessa’s voice scolding me for using the wrong towel.
“I know she does, Hardin. I see that now. I’m sorry.”
“Me, too. I’m sorry for being a dick all the time. I don’t mean to be.”
She seems to be surprised by my words. I guess I don’t blame her. I never apologize, regardless if I am right or wrong. It’s my thing, I guess—being an asshole and not owning up to it.
“It’s okay, we can move past it. Let’s have a nice Christmas at your lovely father’s house.” She smiles, sarcasm clear in her voice.
“Yeah, let’s move past it.”
“Yes. Let’s. I don’t want today to be ruined because of that mess last night. I understand it better now, the whole situation. I know you love her, Hardin, and I can see you’re learning to be a better man. She’s teaching you, and that makes me so happy.” My mum brings her hands to her chest, and I roll my eyes. “Really, I’m so happy for you,” she says.
“Thanks.” I look away. “I love you, Mum.” The words taste odd coming out, but her expression makes it worth it.
She gasps. “What did you just say?” Tears immediately pool in her eyes from hearing the words I never say to her. I don’t know what made me say it just now, maybe the way she truly only wants the best for me. Maybe the way she’s here now, and she really has played such a big role in Tessa’s forgiving me. I don’t know, but the look on her face makes me wish I’d have said it sooner. She’s dealt with a lot of shit, and she really has tried her best to be a good mum to me—she should have had the simple pleasure of hearing her only child say that he loves her more than once in the last thirteen years.