"He hasn't really recovered from his brother's death yet."
Lucy looked solemn. "I remember that one. You're having a hell of a year, Merry."
What could I say to that? I agreed with her.
There was a knock at the door and Doyle, Frost, and Galen came in. "I think that's my cue to give you some alone time." She said hi to all of them and left us to it.
Doyle took my good hand in his. "I almost let her kill you."
"We almost let her kill you," Rhys said and put a hand on my thigh under the sheet.
Galen just stood there looking down at me.
"You going to say 'I told you so'?" I asked.
He shook his head. "I saw what she did to Julian, and I saw the picture she was trying to copy. We couldn't let someone do that to Julian."
"But if we hadn't baited them in the first place he wouldn't have been a target."
"Or if we'd thought to put guards on our human friends and coworkers it wouldn't have happened," Rhys said.
Doyle nodded. "I thought of 'us' as only the sidhe and fey in the house with us. I forgot that our family is larger than that. It's Jeremy and everyone at the agency. It's Lucy and some of the other police officers. It's the soldiers whom you saved and whom Goddess seems to have such an interest in. I have to stop thinking like a god who only had a small section of land and start thinking bigger."
I winced a little at the wording. "All Steve wanted was for Bittersweet to be big enough to be his lover for real."
"But what did Bittersweet really want?" Rhys asked.
"Death," Doyle said.
"What?" I asked.
"She saw me, Merry. She saw me on the balcony, I know she did, and she still went for the knife. She still attacked you and gave me her back."
"Maybe she just didn't think you could hit a target that small from that distance at that angle with a blade," Rhys said. "Most of us couldn't have risked that throw so close to Merry."
"I do not miss," he said.
"But maybe the demi-fey didn't know that, Doyle," Rhys said.
"But why attack Merry then, why not attack you? She saw you draw your gun, and her lover was there to be saved. Why didn't she try to save him? Why did she attack Merry and give me her back if she didn't want to die?"
"I think part of her wanted to die," I said, "but I think part of her just enjoyed causing pain. Bittersweet told me just before that other part rose and went crazy. She said that part of her wanted to be made big and then it would cut the babies out of my body and dance in my blood. She said she couldn't control it."
"So you think she wanted to die and it was suicide by Doyle," Galen said.
I shook my head. "No, I think she knew we would kill them both and she wanted to do the most harm, to cause the most pain to all of us that she could. I think she felt that killing me and the babies would hurt you all worse than anything else she could have done."
We were all quiet, hearing the rush and hush of the hospital around us. "I'm glad they're dead," Galen said.
I let go of Doyle's hand to reach out to him. His eyes were shiny with unshed tears. He leaned over my hand and kissed it. "I'm sorry we fought."
"Me, too."
"I'll never like you taking chances but I promise not to unman you before battle again."
I smiled and Rhys patted him on the shoulder. Doyle leaned over and laid a kiss on my lips. "We will have at least two of us in the room all night."
"The killers are dead, Doyle."
He smiled, and smoothed my hair back from my face. "There are always more killers, my Merry, and when I saw her strike you with the blade twice before I could get my aim certain I thought my heart would stop."
"I'd already touched her with my hand of flesh."
"But I did not know that." He kissed me again and said, "Frost is letting Adam cry on his shoulder about Julian. It seems that the near-death experience has helped Adam see the errors of his way. I think Julian will not have to come to us for cuddling when he gets out of the hospital."
"How did Frost end up holding Adam's hand?"
"I saw him coming," Doyle said with a smile.
"Me, too," Rhys said.
"Me, three," Galen said. "I'll hold Julian's hand if he needs it but Adam's treated him badly and I'm mad at him for it."
As if on cue Frost came through the door. Doyle moved back to give him room to do his own kissing. "Adam wants to thank you for risking everything to save the man he loves."
"He loves him now," Galen said.
"Don't leave me alone with Adam again. I saw at least two of you duck back around the corner."
"We'll take first watch," Doyle said. Frost nodded. And they did. And when their four hours were up Galen and Rhys were there, and then Amatheon and Adair, Usna and Cathbodua, Saraid and Dogmaela, Ivi and Brii, until I woke with light streaming around the curtains and it was Doyle and Frost again. "The doctor says you can go home today," Doyle said.
"You're here. I'm already home." They both kissed me and we were touching when the doctor came in to finally let me get up and go home.
Some nights I sleep between my Darkness and my Killing Frost. Some nights it's Rhys and Galen, and Mistral has finally agreed to share my bed with Barinthus. Barinthus is helping Mistral get more comfortable with the world outside of Maeve Reed's house and grounds, and Mistral seems willing to share me with Barinthus though we haven't crossed that barrier yet. I'm not sure what Mannan Mac Lir would do if sex with me gave him back as much power as it's given Rhys and Doyle.