But never to me. I’m regular like clockwork. You could set a watch to my period starting. I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever been late. I haven’t mentioned any of this to Gabe because it could all be for nothing. Why get him worked up? Why freak him out? I can deal.
Maybe. Barely.
I’m blaming the late period on stress. That’s what it has to be. I’ve gotten fewer hours at The Shack because business has slowed down and Barb feels bad though I understand. I’ve been on the hunt but I still haven’t found an on campus job yet. Money is tight, I rarely see my roommate because if she’s not working, she’s going to visit her stupid preppy boyfriend Chad whenever she can. He’s so rich he pays for her plane tickets so I guess I can’t blame her.
Yeah, I’ve spent a lot of time with Gabe. Quality, fun sexy time but I’m so scared to tell him anything personal for fear he’ll dump me—oh hey Gabe, I might be pregnant—oh and Gabe, the financial aid thing isn’t looking so good for me right now—and let’s not forget the fact that you think I’m some rich girl who has money sprouting out of my ears.
My lies and worries are catching up with me. I’m in so deep I don’t know how I can tell him the truth now. He’s going to be furious with me over…all of it and I’m scared.
Scared he’ll hate me. Scared he won’t want to hear the truth. Horribly terrified that once he finds out the truth, he’ll turn his back on me forever. And if I turn out to be pregnant with his baby?
I can’t let that happen. I can’t. My young, single mother raised me all alone and she struggled my entire life—I don’t want history repeating itself.
But I might not have a choice.
The financial aid counselor is nice—her name is Judy—and we discuss the options I have. I received a notice in the mail a few days ago that I wasn’t going to be receiving as much government assistance as I thought for my tuition and figured it was a mistake.
“There was a glitch in your paperwork,” Judy explains as she looks over my file. “So they’re going to take back the difference with your next scheduled distribution.
“And how much are they going to take back?” I ask as I fidget nervously in my chair.
Judy does a few calculations and then rattles off the number.
I’m in shock. “But I can’t pay for my tuition with that amount.”
“Perhaps you should consider taking out a student loan after all?” she suggests gently.
I take the fat stack of paperwork I’ll need to fill out from Judy the overly kind counselor and leave her office in a daze, my mind tripping over figures and amounts I don’t really want to comprehend.
Not that I have a choice. On top of everything else happening, I guess I need to figure out what I’m going to do about my money situation. I never wanted to take out student loans because I didn’t like the idea of having to pay them back. Starting out my career with a ton of debt on my shoulders isn’t my idea of a good time. But I need the education in order to find a good paying job so…
It’s a vicious cycle. One I’m not fully prepared to tackle, I guess.
My cellphone rings and I pull it out of my pocket to check who it is. My mother.
I hit the red button and slip my phone into my backpack. She is absolutely the last person I want to talk to. Nothing I say to her will make her happy. It’s all bad news and she’ll worry. Or worse, give me a lecture, and that’ll only make me feel worse.
No thanks.
I contemplate texting Jade and asking her to meet me later. She might understand but can I trust her with my secrets? She’s become a friend over the last few weeks and while I’ve enjoyed hanging out with her and Shep, and getting to know her especially, I’m unsure. I can’t imagine what she might think once I confess all my sins. Or what she might do—like run to Gabe and tell him everything.
So she’s a no go. Even if I was comfortable telling her everything, she’d probably go to Shep and fill him in. I can’t risk it. What I must do is talk to Gabe. Tell him my fears. Tell him my truth. Let him know how stressed I am and how much I need him. Just being with him, sitting with him and resting my head on his shoulder calms me down. The more time I spend with him, the more I fall a little more in love with him every single day.
To the point where I know that without a doubt I’m in love with him. Doing exactly what I didn’t want to do, that’s me yet again.
Could I be any more stupid? I don’t think so.
I’m walking across the quad toward the parking lot when I hear someone call out the name Gabe. A feminine, nasally voice. I stop in my tracks, watching as a tall, skinny blonde with giant breasts runs toward the man I thought I could consider my boyfriend, throwing herself at him so hard he nearly stumbles backward.
I watch in horrified fasciation like I’m staring at a train wreck, unable to look away from the carnage.
She loops her arms around his neck and he rests his hands on her hips. Is he pushing her away or is he…yep, I think he’s drawing her in. Oh my God. What an asshole! Anger suffuses me, making me see red and I march right up to the both of them, near vibrating with my righteous fury.
“How dare you?” I breathe when I’m close enough to see that…huh. Maybe I was wrong. Gabe appears to be pushing her away from him, but maybe that’s just for my benefit? His gaze meets mine and he springs away from the blonde as if she just poisoned him.
The blonde turns, her gaze meeting mine and I see nothing but ugly, black hardness in the depths of her eyes. “Aw, honey, don’t tell me you fell for his charms too? You know he’s a one and done type of guy.”