She thought I was a bitch? Why? Why do so many people think that? God, even Joel said the same thing to me once we started dating. He admitted he was afraid to approach me and ask me out on a date but somehow worked up the courage. At the time I thought it was cute.
Now I’m thinking maybe I give off some sort of bitch vibe or something. Ugh.
Fucking Joel. Fucking Shep. Fucking everyone in my life.
“You’re not a bitch though,” Emma says once we’ve all calmed down. “You’re very sweet. I like you. We should hang out more.” Her head is still in my lap and she reaches up, tapping me on the tip of my nose. “Want a bump?”
“Huh?” I’m confused.
“Em,” Emily hisses before she sends me an apologetic look. “Forgive her. She’s super drunk. And when she’s super drunk, she wants to do all the drugs she can find.”
“Like a mountain of cocaine sounds sooo good right about now,” Emma says, laughing as she taps my nose again. “You have a perfect nose, you know that? I’m jealous.” She taps her own nose. “I had to get a nose job to fix my honker.”
The word honker sends the three of us into another fit of giggles and I push Emma off my lap, clutching at my sides. “It hurts to laugh,” I protest.
“I know what’ll fix that right up.” Emma whips out a vile containing a small amount of white powder. “Want some? Stan hooked me up.”
“Wait a minute.” Emily shoves at Emma’s shoulder, earning a dirty look for her efforts. “You mean that asshole who won’t leave the table? That Stan gave you coke?”
Emma shrugs, a smile curling her lips. “I might’ve offered up my—cock sucking services for some. He readily agreed. I figured he’d be too wasted to remember and looks like I was right.”
I stare at the both of them like they’ve totally lost their minds. What in the world have I gotten myself into? These girls…are hardcore. Flasks and vodka and fucking and Redbull and bumps and vials of coke? Blow jobs for drugs? What in the hell?
“You gonna try some?” Emma waves the vial at me, a sweet smile on her face before she twists the lid off and dips her pinky finger inside. She holds it up to her nose and gives a delicate sniff, a shiver moving through her. “Stan always has the best shit,” she tells me with complete authority.
Without a word Emily hands me the flask and I gulp from it, not even tasting the Red Bull any longer. Not tasting anything. I’m not just buzzed I’m drunk. Stuck waiting for my so-called date to finish up his so-called task so he can take me back to my room and tuck me into bed and kiss me and touch me and…
No. I shake my head. It’s the alcohol talking. I absolutely do not want Shep touching me and kissing me and stripping my clothes off, piece by piece…
“Pass it over bitch,” Emily says and Emma hands her the vial. I watch in fascination, feeling like I’m in a movie. A movie that’s about the perils of college, a glimpse into the seedy dark side where sweet college students have gone hopelessly wrong. Where underage freshmen girls drink from flasks and snort coke in public. “You want some, Jade or what? Because if you don’t, I’m going to snort the rest.”
“Don’t be so greedy Em!” Emma yells and they both laugh. Like they do this all the time.
“Um.” I hesitate, watching Emily dig into her purse and pull out a compact mirror and her student ID. She taps out a thin but sloppy line of white powder onto the mirror, then straightens it out with the edge of the ID card, the mirror resting haphazardly on her knees.
“I created this line just for you,” Emily sing songs as she thrusts the mirror in my face. “What do you say, new friend?”
I look from Emily to Emma, the both of them watching me, matching smiles on their faces. They look harmless. They look like they’re having fun. When was the last time I had fun? School has been driving me nuts. I’m sort of depressed over my breakup with Joel (lies). I’m confused by Shep and what he wants from me (absolute truth). I’m confused in general.
“Okay.” I smile brightly. So brightly, my cheeks hurt from the strain. “Let’s do this.”
“Yay!” they both yell, Emily almost dropping the mirror, making Emma yell at her not to waste a fucking drop—and I quote.
“Just press your finger here.” Emma demonstrates by touching the left side of her nose. “And inhale like so.” She gives a short sniff with her right nostril.
Taking a deep breath, I tell myself I’ll be okay. It’s just a little coke. Emily lifts the mirror higher, so it’s practically in my face, and I tuck my hair behind my ear, lean over the offered mirror with my finger pressed against my nose and…
Yeah. You know what happens next.
“Come on, dude.” I slap Stan’s massive back as I lead him out of the house. I’m irritable. Frustrated. But trying to put on a good game face—something I’m most excellent at doing. We went round and round, playing hand after hand, me trying to give away the game yet he still managed to somehow fuck it up. Over an hour later and he finally got his forty bucks back.
Gabe left when he realized I had everything under control, the asshole. I’ve ditched Jade all this time and I’m sure she hates me but what the hell could I do? I sent her a quick apologetic text but she never replied. I sent another text asking her to come inside but she didn’t reply to that one either. Didn’t make an appearance so I figure she’s long gone. I fucking blew it with Jade.