“But he has someone protecting you and he helped you with Mom, plus he calls and texts you all the time, and I know those nights you don’t come home after work you’re staying with him. So if he’s not your boyfriend, what is he?”
I wasn’t really sure I had an answer to that question. He was a lot of things, not just to me, but in general.
“He’s important to me and I know he cares about me. I’ve had a pretty big crush on him for a long time, but he’s from a different type of world than I am, and I’m still trying to figure out if I can fit into it.”
She turned her head back to look at me and I saw her start to pick at the threads on her jeans where there was a hole on her knee.
“Because he lives in the Point?”
I snorted. If only it was that easy to explain.
“No. Race didn’t start out in the Point, but now that he’s there, he’s kind of decided that he’s going to be in charge of what’s going on in the place. He’s not exactly a law-abiding citizen, and even though I think at his core he is a good man making hard choices, those choices suck and they affect more than just him. I’m not sure I can be part of that, even if I want to be with him.”
She shifted her gaze back to the mirror and her voice dropped.
“If he’s nice to you, takes care of you, and makes you happy, the choices he has to make that affect others shouldn’t matter. People are always hurting each other, and if you have a guy going out of his way to not hurt you, well, that’s what matters. Rich, poor, and everything in between.”
“That’s a pretty bleak view for a sixteen-year-old girl to have, Karsen.”
She tucked her hair behind her ear just like I did and turned back to look at me.
“Mom and Dad loved each other at one point, but they ended up hurting each other and us. The boys from my school think they are entitled to anything and everything they want because they live in a particular zip code and they don’t care who they hurt. Dovie almost died because of bad men and other people’s actions that had nothing to do with her. Pain is everywhere, Brysen. I’m not blind. Everyone’s choices affect other people. Look at where we just left our mom.”
Well, fuck me. Here I thought I had been insulating her and protecting her from all the evils at our doorstep and she was looking at them far clearer than I ever had.
“That’s a very good point.”
She lifted the side of her mouth in a little grin that turned my heart over. I just adored every single thing about this kid.
“Besides, Race is a total babe. You’d be an idiot to pass on your chance to get with someone that hot.”
That made me laugh, mostly because she wasn’t wrong. I would be an idiot to pass up on taking advantage of everything Race seemed willing to offer me, his sexy self included.
As we got closer to her school so I could drop her off, her words nagged at me. Karsen was a peacemaker, a girl who just wanted everyone to get along and be happy. Her statement that the boys at her school felt entitled made me uneasy.
“Hey, that boy you liked, whatever happened with him?”
She lifted a shoulder and let it fall. Her eyes locked firmly on the mirror and the truck.
“He wasn’t as nice as I thought he was.”
That made my jaw clench and my hands tighten reflexively on the steering wheel.
“What does that mean, exactly?” My voice was sharp and I saw her flinch from the lash of it.
“It means that because I don’t really live on the Hill, just at the base of it, I’m good enough to fool around with but not good enough to date. Once I figured that out and walked away, he got kind of nasty. He was mean and tried to drag me down to his level time and time again.” She whipped her head around and met me stare for stare. “Guys like Parker are exactly the kind of young men the world doesn’t need making the hard choices, Brysen. He’s a terrible person through and through, and he’s just going to end up more evil and more hateful as he gets older. We’re all better off when the bad things in the world are being managed by guys like Race. At least he has good somewhere inside of him.”
We were finally at the high school, and as we rolled to a stop, she leaned over and gave me a smacking kiss on the cheek. She shoved open the door and ducked her head down to look at me one last time.
“From the outside looking in, Race is giving all of us a chance at a new start. Take the advice you gave Mom and don’t squander it, Brysen. Love ya.”
She slammed the door and I turned to watch her blend in with the crowd of similarly dressed teenagers. I didn’t miss the jaunty wave she shot, not to me but to the behemoth in the truck behind me. There was no clean slate for the Carters. Not with the spectacular way our parents had managed to break it.
I pondered Karsen’s words, how wise beyond her years she seemed, and how futile my efforts to shield her from the harsh realities of our family and the world really had been. It rubbed me raw that my baby sister seemed to have a better handle on what was really rotating around us than I did. I got out of the BMW in a huff and walked over to the truck where it idled behind the parking space. I shoved my sunglasses to the top of my head and forced myself to look directly into those pale eyes without once glancing at that wicked scar.
“I’m in class all day today, so you can take off until seven or so.”
Booker let one of his beefy arms dangle out of the window and arched a dark eyebrow over the eye with the imperfection. It made him look all the more sinister.
“Sure you don’t want me to walk you to class and carry your books?”