“Aye, I know it. ’Twas my choice. Perhaps I preferred to converse with my wife instead of the men tonight.”
She turned and rested her gaze on his face, searching his eyes for some sign of his intent. “Have you something specific in mind?”
“Perhaps. Make ready for bed, wife. You look tired. I’ll add more wood to the fire, and we’ll retire early this night.”
Puzzled by his odd mood, she did as he bade and began to undress. She reached for her nightdress when he made a sound of disapproval. She looked up to see him bending over the hearth, wood in hand and shaking his head at her.
“Nay?”
“I would feel your skin next to mine.”
’Twas not an unreasonable request, but tonight it made her feel shy and a little uncertain, and it angered her that she would feel this way.
As if sensing her uncertainty, Caelen rose from the hearth and crossed the room. Gently he took the nightdress from her grasp and laid it over the chair by the fire.
“I’ll not make any demands of you, Rionna. I would do nothing to frighten you. But I’ve missed the feel of you next to me and your warmth and scent on my skin. I would have that tonight if it causes you no upset.”
She put her hand on his chest and stared up at him, her heart going soft at the tenderness in his voice. “You do not frighten me, Caelen. ’Tis the truth I feel safest when I’m near to you.”
He laid his hand over hers and then pulled it to his mouth. He kissed the inside of her palm and left it against his lips for a moment before lowering it once more.
“Come to bed. ’Tis cold tonight and the wind howls through the furs at the window.”
Rionna climbed underneath the furs and watched as Caelen disrobed in the glow of the fire. When he turned to the bed, she pulled back the furs, an invitation.
As soon as he got into bed, she snuggled close, sighing as his warmth enveloped her.
Caelen chuckled against her hair. “You sound near to purring, wife.”
“Mmm. You feel good, husband.”
He laid the flat of his palm over her back and stroked up and down, his even breathing sounding close to her ear.
“I’ve been thinking on things,” he said.
She frowned against his neck. A conversation never ended well that started with such words. She pulled away and his hand stilled on the small of her back.
“What matters have you been thinking on?”
“Tell me why you dress as you do and why you’ve put so much practice in with a sword.”
Her eyes widened. Of all the subjects she thought he might broach, this wasn’t one of them.
“ ’Tis plain to see you’ve devoted a lot of time to the practice of warfare. You have to admit ’tis an odd undertaking for a lass. Your father wasn’t approving. I saw his reaction when you bested the McCabe warrior when you were visiting McCabe keep.”
When she remained quiet, he stroked over her back again, his touch light and soothing.
“And now, when you were attacked and sorely beaten, a traumatic event for anyone, much less a lass as slight as you are, I thought it had made you afraid, but you were angry because you’d been stripped of the ability to defend yourself.”
“Aye,” she whispered. “It made me feel helpless. I hated it.”
“What has made you so fierce in your determination to protect yourself, Rionna? ’Tis not something a lass usually thinks upon. ’Tis up to her kin, her father, brother, or husband to watch over her and protect her from harm, and yet you ask no one to do these things for you.”
She closed her eyes as shame crowded in. Caelen knew of her father’s disgraceful actions, but saying her fears aloud only made it worse.
“Rionna?”
He pulled away and tipped her chin up so that he could look into her eyes. The candles he’d left burning provided just enough light that she could see his grim expression and the determination in his eyes to uncover her secrets.
She sighed and looked away. “You know what kind of man my father was. And that when my father tried to force himself on Keeley, my mother made her an outcast. She was my cousin. And Keeley wasn’t the only young lass my father targeted. I knew of his evil from a very young age and I always feared …”
She sucked in a deep breath and looked back at Caelen. “All I could think was what if he turned his attention to me? If he could do such a thing to his niece, what would it matter if I was his daughter?
“I grew br**sts at a young age. I had a pleasing shape that I knew men liked to look at. So I began to hide my attributes and make myself look more like a lad than a woman. And I learned to wield a sword because I swore if my father ever tried to force himself on me, I would be able to protect myself.”
Anger and disgust simmered in Caelen’s eyes. He touched her cheek, stroking his finger from her jawline to her temple and back down again.
“You were right to do so,” he admitted. “His obsession with Keeley never ended. Even years later. He would have raped her just weeks past if I hadn’t intervened when he dragged her into a chamber at McCabe keep.”
“His desires are unnatural, and he cares not who he hurts. He thinks only of himself and his pleasure. I would kill him for what he did to Keeley alone.”
“If he ever touches you again, whether in anger or with lust, I’ll feed his carcass to the vultures.”
“ ’Tis when you’re not near that I worry,” she said quietly.
“Aye, I know it, lass, and as much as it pains me to admit, you have a solid argument for why I should allow you to continue with your training. ’Tis the truth I gifted Mairin with a dagger so she would have means to protect herself. It only stands to reason I’d afford my wife the same opportunity and the skills to do so.”