“I know,” he says, and I turn back, surprised.
“You know?”
“Jamie told me. Apparently Ollie told her.”
“Ollie?” Shit.
The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Don’t worry. I won’t say anything to Charles. Whatever confidences he betrayed, he did it for you. The bastard may have pissed me off, but I understand why he did it. I would have done the same.”
“You had Kurt fired,” I say.
“Hell yes, I did.”
“Damien, you can’t just do that to people.”
“Actually, I can. He worked for one of my companies.”
“But—” I cut myself off. The truth is I don’t give a fuck what happens to Kurt, and the fact that Damien had his sorry ass fired doesn’t really bother me. Not by itself, anyway. It’s the rest of it.
“Nikki?” He’s looking at me, his face open and vulnerable.
I reach out and stroke his cheek, the stubble of his beard scratching over my palm. The air between us is thick, and just touching him makes me feel alive. He’s like a part of me, I think. Hell, he’s like the air I need to breathe. And I need him. I need all of him. But I’m not as certain that he really needs me. “You’re wrong about what you said. About me.”
“What did I say?”
“You said I wasn’t weak.” I run a hand over my hair. “I am.”
“Oh, baby, come here.” I slide into his arms, and it feels like coming home. I press my head to his chest and listen to the rhythm of his heart. “Everyone breaks a little sometimes. That doesn’t make you weak. It makes you wounded. And I will always be there to help you heal.”
I release a shuddering breath as I pull back enough to look into his face. I can’t imagine Damien breaking, but somehow I know that he’s speaking from experience. Everyone breaks.
“Nikki,” he says. “Baby, are we okay?”
I think about what my mother said about what I was throwing away, and I wonder if she’s right. For the first time in my life, can my mother actually have something to offer me?
I close my eyes, because I don’t want her in my head. When I open them again, I see only Damien. “I want to make this work,” I whisper, and the relief that I see in his eyes washes over me like a balm. “Is Jamie here?” I ask, because suddenly I’m thinking about the thin walls of the condo.
I see the hint of a frown. “No.” He clears his throat.
I narrow my eyes, confused. “What?”
“This may not be the best time, but I have a confession.”
I tilt my head and wait.
“Jamie’s going to be getting a call from her agent soon.”
“And you know this how?”
“Because it’s for a series of national commercials. For a company I have an interest in.” He’s speaking gingerly, eyeing me as if he’s afraid I’ll explode.
“You did that for her?”
“For the company, actually. The ad agency presented us with three possible actresses and Jamie was the best of the bunch.”
My smile stretches wide across my face.
Damien looks at me, baffled. “Why is that okay, but helping you get the job at Innovative wasn’t?”
I grimace, because it’s a legitimate point. “Because it just is,” I say, then laugh.
He joins me, then brushes a soft kiss over my lips. “Nikki?”
“Yes?”
“I—” He stops, but not before I hear the tenderness in his voice. I close my eyes, imagining that he’s told me he loves me. The word sounds right, and not terrifying at all.
“Don’t ever leave me again,” he says.
“No,” I whisper. “How could I? I’m yours.”
He rolls over until he’s on top of me, then trails light kisses down my neck. “You said I have to be in control.”
“Not really an astounding revelation, is it?”
He chuckles. “I’m giving it to you.”
“Giving what?”
“Control, Nikki. Tell me what you want. Tell me exactly what you want.”
“You mean other than you?”
“Where do you want me to touch you? How slow? Shall I graze my teeth over your nipple? Shall I bite your ear? Shall I dip my tongue into your sweet cunt? Tell me, Nikki. Tell me what you want.”
“Yes,” I say, meaning all of that. “But start by kissing me.”
He does, pressing his mouth softly to mine, then with increasing firmness. His tongue finds mine, stroking and teasing and I’m getting more and more turned on, even though he’s doing nothing else. No touches, no caresses.
Damn the man, he meant what he said.
Gently, I break the kiss. “Stroke my breasts,” I say. “Then pinch my nipples.” I don’t think I’ve ever drawn out a road map to making love, but with Damien I don’t feel shy. “Tighter,” I demand, then arch up as he twists almost to the point of pain. “Kiss me,” I say. “All the way down until you get to my clit. I want your tongue there, and I want your fingers inside me.”
He grins up at me. “Yes, ma’am,” he says, then begins to slowly, torturously, work his way down my body. I’m trembling now with desire for him. The slightest touch of my body against the sheet brings me even closer to an orgasm. It’s as if my entire body is an erogenous zone. And I want him there. I want him everywhere.
I gasp with the realization of what it is that I truly want tonight. And even though his tongue on my clit feels so, so good, I ease his head up, then pull him up to kiss my lips. I roll sideways so that we’re spooning together, and then I take his hand and guide it to my ass. “Take me here,” I whisper.