My father’s eyes open wide. “Sutton,” he says, grabbing my hand. “It’s not like that at all.” His foot slams the gas pedal and he curves the SUV into an abrupt U-turn. We’re heading back toward Sabino Canyon.
“Where are we going?” I shriek. The car plunges into a hole in the dirt and pops back up again, throwing me off balance. My elbow jams against the window. “Let me out!”
“Sutton, if you could just give me a second, I’ll explain everything.” He navigates the rocky road, his gaze boring through the windshield. My nerves flare as he guns the car into the Sabino parking lot and skids over the gravel. His foot lands on the brake and the car crunches to a stop. Then he glances around like he’s looking for someone. Other than that same rusted-out brown car, the lot is empty.
“Dad?” I press. “What the hell is going on?”
“It’s not what you think—I’m not having an affair.” My dad shifts the car into park. “I know you’ve been curious about your biological mom for a while now. And I know the fact that your mom hasn’t wanted to discuss it is why you’ve pulled away from us in the past year.” He closes his eyes and takes a long breath. “That woman you saw me with tonight, her name is Raven, but she used to go by Becky. Sutton, she’s…your mother.”
I stare at him. The words take a few seconds to sink in. “What?” And then, “You’re having an affair with my mother?”
“No!” Mr. Mercer shakes his head quickly. His light eyes hold my gaze. “She’s your mother…and she’s my daughter. Which means you’re my granddaughter.”
I suddenly feel like my mind won’t work. Like synapses are firing in all the wrong directions. “What are you talking about?” I whisper.
“Kristin and I had Becky when we were much younger,” my dad says slowly, his eyes searching my face as if gauging how much I can handle. “And Becky was very young when she had you. You were just a few weeks old when she left you with us.” He opens his palm and reaches a hand out to grab mine, but I ball my fist against my side.
“Your mom—your grandmother—and I moved to Arizona from California for a new start. Becky’s been in town for a few months now, and she and I have been talking in secret. I think Grandma, your great-grandmother, has figured it out, but if your mother ever found…” He shook his head. “Then, when we saw you tonight, well, we panicked.” His voice sounds hollow and distant, like someone speaking from the far end of a hallway. “But if you want to meet her, she’s just up that trail there.” He gestures through the windshield to the dark path. “I told her to wait, that I was going to try and catch up to you. We could go up there together.”
He smiles at me kindly, hopefully. And that’s when I lose it.
“Are you kidding me? I’m not going anywhere with you!” I snarl. “And I have no desire to meet the woman who pawned me off without a second thought.”
He reaches for my hand, but I slam back against the car door. “Don’t you dare touch me!” I raise both hands. “Stay away!”
His eyes widen. “Sutton!”
But I flail like an animal. I feel like an animal, a tiger trapped in a cage. I shove open the car door, climb out, and stagger backward. “This is so f**ked up!” I scream. The word hangs in the air, a taunt—I’ve never used it in front of my dad before.
But he barely flinches. Instead, a look of deep regret and disappointment passes across his features. “Okay, Sutton,” he says quietly. “I’m sorry. I really hadn’t planned for you to find out this way. Let’s just go home.”
“Go home? With you? Do you actually think you’re blameless in all this?” I can barely stand still. “You wait till now to tell me you’re my grandfather? You were keeping a massive secret from me for eighteen years! I’ve asked you and Mom a million times who my birth parents were, and you lied every time, saying you didn’t know! Was actually being related to me, actually being my grandfather, so horrible that you had to pretend I was adopted?”
“Sutton,” my dad sighs. “Please.”
But I back away from the car, my heart racing hard. “I’m not coming home with you tonight. In fact, don’t think I’m coming home for a while. And if you know what’s good for you, you’ll cover for me with Mom—or should I say Grandma?”
I turn around and start to sprint. I am on fire with fury. I can’t get away fast enough.
“Sutton!” my dad calls, worry filling his voice. “Where are you going?”
“I have friends,” I snap. “People who don’t lie to me.”
I reach into my pocket for my phone and clutch it hard as I continue to run. My arms pump as I cross the dirt. I can call Madeline. She’s been calling me all night, anyway.
I’m halfway up an incline when my dad yells to me once more.
“Sutton, please!”
I turn to glare at him. “Don’t you dare come looking for me.”
“Sutton,” he says softly, the word coming out like a whine. His shoulders slump with defeat. “I’m ready to talk whenever you are,” he says sadly. “And, I know it’s a lot to ask, but please don’t say anything to your mom, okay? This would ruin her.”
“Gladly!” I scream. “Because she’s not my mom! And you’re not my dad.”
My father recoils as though I’ve slapped him. I’ve never seen him look so sad. I disappear over the ridge, then hear his car door slam and the engine start. As the car rolls over the crest and disappears down the highway, I hope to God I’ll never see him again.