She did tell me she was pregnant, and even if she let me believe he probably wasn’t mine, she never told me he wasn’t.
‘I’ll back up your story, because it’s true. But relinquishment papers? That’s a legal declaration, Brooke.’ I’m back to pacing. The stacks of boxes narrow the walls, constricting the paths between them, paralleling my emotions perfectly. ‘Fuck. My father will kill me if I sign a legal document without his expert guidance.’ I look back up at her and shake my head slowly. ‘I’m going to have to tell him. And may God have mercy on my soul.’
14
DORI
My schedule looks like a sampler platter instead of a meal. Every class I’m taking this semester is preceded by ‘Introduction to’, which theoretically makes sense, considering I’m a freshman, and therefore assumed to be a novice at everything. If I hadn’t tested out of reading and comprehension, quantitative reasoning and four semesters of Spanish, I suppose my schedule and I wouldn’t look quite so deficient in experience.
On a bench in upper Sproul, I wait with one member of my Intro to Sociology study group for the other two to arrive. The plan was to stake a spot somewhere outside to study, but that was before the sky became completely overcast and the temperature dropped ten degrees.
Claudia scowls down the plaza, looking for Raul and Afton. ‘Whose bright idea was it to study outdoors in February? I’m. Effing. Freezing.’
I shrug. ‘I’m sure they’ll agree to go inside. And it was nice out yesterday.’
‘Psshh,’ she says. ‘It was tolerable, at best. Have you ever noticed how all campus brochures have pictures of happy, smiling students taken on beautiful, blue-sky days? No matter where the campus is located – Oklahoma, North Dakota, Arizona – whatever. No one is ever huddling into their down-filled North Face jacket, cursing their chapped lips and flyaway hair. No one’s ever sloshing across campus in an ugly downpour with no umbrella, a soaked-through backpack, waterlogged shoes and jeans saturated to mid-thigh. No one’s got sweat-stained pits and perspiration-covered faces. Oh, no – they’re throwing a Frisbee or studying contentedly on a green lawn in perfect temperatures. They’re laughing on the way to the food court or chatting on the steps of the library.’
I smile. Claudia is one of those people who constantly complains, but she grumbles so humorously that I don’t care. She’s like a grumpy old lady in an eighteen-year-old body.
A couple of girls suddenly appear in front of us, gazing directly at me, as though I’m about to impart life-saving information. Claudia lifts an eyebrow and looks at me too.
‘Hey,’ the girl on the left says. ‘Um, we live in your building? And you were with a guy the other night …’
Uh-oh. I recognize them now – the elevator girls. Darn Reid and his winking.
I attempt to look blankly at them. Reid’s told me what his studio wants, but he’s also told me that he doesn’t care what I say or do – he says that if someone asks me about him, I can say whatever I’d like. But his premiere is tomorrow night, and I don’t particularly want to out myself right here, right now, with strangers. Along with Claudia, the world’s most acerbic Peace and Conflict Studies major ever.
Girl on the right isn’t about to drop this opportunity. ‘Was he really Reid Alexander?’
Before I can say a word, Claudia hoots a laugh. ‘Are you guys high right now? Reid Alexander, on campus, and no one noticed? Give me a break.’
Their faces fall. ‘Oh.’
Then left side girl rallies. ‘Then that guy – he’s goes here? To Cal?’
I shake my head once. ‘No, he doesn’t. He was just visiting.’
‘Aww,’ they say in unison, dismayed, and my scowl narrows on them.
‘And he’s my boyfriend.’ Whoa. Where did that tone come from?
Unbothered by any sense of diplomacy, left side girl snorts. ‘He is?’
Her friend tries to save face – by saying the most awkward thing possible. ‘Well, congratulations – I mean – he looks just like Reid Alexander, so obviously he’s hot. Aheh.’
‘Uh. Thanks?’
After they scuttle away, I say, ‘That was weird.’
I feel Claudia’s eyes on me. ‘So you’re dating Reid Alexander?’
I look into her dark eyes, and my lips part, but no sound emerges. I can’t think of a single thing to say.
‘Has anyone ever told you that you do not have a poker face?’
Lips twisting, I admit, ‘Yeah, I may have heard that one a time or two.’
She angles her head and smiles. ‘You’re the Habitat girl, aren’t you? From last summer.’
Oh, yay. I’d escaped two zealous Reid Alexander groupies, only to find out I’m in a study group with the most dangerous of them all. ‘And you’re … a Reid Alexander fan?’
‘Hell, no. My little sisters are. They’re rabid about him. He seems like a pretentious, untalented ass**le to me.’
I blink.
‘Note I said seems. I haven’t actually seen any of his films. And he can’t be a total lost cause if he’s dating you. I think. Unless you care to refute that?’
‘Which part?’
She shrugs. ‘Any of it. I’m open-minded. Sort of.’
I laugh softly as our classmates finally walk up, shivering in their jackets.
‘Oh. My. Holy. Fucking. Hell,’ Raul says. ‘Can we please go inside to do this?’
‘A man after my own heart,’ Claudia says, bounding from the bench as though released from a spell and walking resolutely in the direction of the library. ‘Brr! Dayum. I never thought I’d say this … but I miss San Diego.’ Turning and pointing a finger, she adds, ‘You guys did not hear me say that.’