“From what?”
“From ending up with someone like me.”
I shook my head, looking away so I didn’t have to see all the self-recrimination and pain in his eyes. It always called to me. It always begged me to soothe him, and I wasn’t sure I could fight the need to do it.
“Do you know how fucking beautiful you are?” he whispered, pressing his cheek against mine, his stubble prickling my skin in a way that sent delicious shivers rippling through me. “And I don’t just mean this.” He slid a hand up my waist, his thumb brushing the underside of my breast. My nipples tightened, my body betraying me. He pulled back and tipped my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. I sucked in my breath at the need in his eyes. “You are the kindest, funniest, most compassionate woman I have ever known. The fact that you’re gorgeous and the classiest fucking woman I’ve ever met just makes it harder not to want you. And I want you, Grace. Never doubt that I have wanted you since the moment you snapped at me about that thong.” He came closer, his lips almost touching mine. “And I’ve needed you since the moment you took my hand at Maryanne’s.”
“Logan…” I shook my head. “I can’t. I can’t… I… I don’t trust you anymore. Not with me.”
He squeezed his eyes closed, pain tightening his face. “Don’t say that.”
I almost whimpered at the hurt plea. “I can’t help it.”
When he opened his eyes, I saw the panic in his eyes melt suddenly, only to have determination take its place. “I’m going to make this right.”
“Logan, please… Let’s just forget it.”
We stared into each other’s eyes, the air between us thick with emotion and arousal. His hand slid down my waist and his grip hardened. He brushed his lips over mine, causing my mouth to tingle. Finally he responded with one word that sent shivers cascading down my spine.
“Never.”
CHAPTER 19
There was no mistaking the determination in Logan’s eyes when I shot one last glance over my shoulder before fleeing inside my flat. I’d hurried out of his flat only to find he’d followed me. He stood in his doorway, saying nothing because his eyes said everything.
Logan MacLeod wanted me.
Logan MacLeod was determined to have me.
I’d slammed my door shut behind me with the hope of slamming that look behind me as well. But I couldn’t shake his expression from my mind. There was a part of me that was thrilled. It would be foolish to deny that I wasn’t. I was only human, and the man I’d previously fallen in love with had told me he’d wanted me all along. There was a triumph in that. However, the triumph was overwhelmed by my fear.
There had been many times in the past when I’d been ready to give up on my hellish family, but then my father, Mr. Neglectful, would suddenly show an interest in me, manipulate me, and I was right back in their fold again. Sometimes I worried that the only reason I’d stayed away from them for so long was because my father had given up on me as much as I’d given up on him and them.
I didn’t want this situation with Logan to be another example of my weakness. The man had hurt me more than I thought it was possible to be hurt. Just because he suddenly showed interest in me didn’t mean I should run right back into his arms. As much as he claimed to want me now, I had to wonder if I was just a balm for his own fear. I had been there to help him through a tough time in his life. I feared he was confusing gratitude for something more, and that when he finally realized I really wasn’t his type after all, my heart would be crushed into dust.
But was that my insecurities talking? Perhaps Logan really did have genuine feelings for me.
The fact of the matter was that I couldn’t really know for certain.
“Ask the history teacher out,” Aidan had suggested upon my relating the new development in the Logan and Grace Saga.
“Are you nuts? Say yes! Let that gorgeous man throw you on his bed and have his wicked way with you a million times over.” Chloe had fervently fought in Logan’s corner when I told her.
“Do what makes you happy,” Juno had said sweetly but ever so unhelpfully.
Since my friends’ conflicting advice did nothing to help me, I sought to avoid the matter altogether by joining Shannon, Jo, and Joss for coffee the next afternoon. Shannon turned up covered in paint splatter. She was an art student at Edinburgh College of Art. It was Jo’s day off from working with her uncle Mick in his painting and decorating company, and Joss, as a full-time author, had the flexibility to use her time however she pleased. Elodie was babysitting little Ellie for her.
I met them at Black Medicine, this cool coffee shop in Old Town, and as soon as I saw their concerned faces I wished that I could back up and leave the coffeehouse. It was apparent immediately that they would be no help in my attempt to ignore the Logan situation.
“We just wanted to check in with you,” Shannon said as I took my seat with them. “Joss said you rushed out of her party without saying good-bye, and Logan looked upset. And, of course, he called me.” Her look was pointed.
Taking in their expressions, I just knew it.
Logan had enlisted them.
The bugger.
“Oh dear God.” I let my head fall back as if in supplication to an unmerciful deity. “Why me?”
Joss snorted. “Yeah, doesn’t it suck when gorgeous, funny, loyal Scotsmen fall in love with us?”
I shot her an evil look. “Your sarcasm is unwanted at the moment.”
She grinned. “Maybe I wasn’t being sarcastic. There was a time when I wished Braden would back off.”